Changing of the Guard? No, Just “the New Normal”

I have guarding breeds, mostly anyway. My beloved Merlin was a Doberman mix. I knew that he was the most alert of my crew but I guess it never occurred to me just how much more alert he was than the rest of my crew. Siri is a Rottweiler/GSD mix. Kera is GSD/something Northern mix. Trent is Pit Bull/Shar Pei mix. They all have some guarding heritage yet now that Merlin is gone, they rarely alert now. At least not when I am around, other than in one small way which I will explain further along.

The new normal means different dynamics.

We are about a week or so into the seventh month since Merlin’s passing. It is rare than anyone takes “his” seat in the Xterra. That is strange, since Siri is a 90# girl and she lies in the spot next to where Merlin reigned, yet I can count on one hand how often she has ventured into “his” side of the seat. Any of those times has been accompanied by the slightest smile, like she wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate or possibly even that she was just a bit proud at having achieved such a status.

Now in the house, it’s a bit different. Occasionally, Siri will lie on “his” bed in the living room or even more often, in “his” spot next to the bed in the living room, just like he favored. She also will as often lie in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, another super favorite spot of only Merlin’s. She never did this before he passed. When she does this now, I get the feeling that she is trying to connect with him and/or help me connect with him. I cannot explain why. It is what it is. She doesn’t do it that often and no one else does it. She does do it much more frequently than she ventures into “his” spot in the car though.

Now Trent is different. Where Siri is more relaxed, he seems more vigilant. He seems to always want to know where I am in the house these days. I am not sure whether he is worried about me or worried about himself. I think that maybe he feels that he is now the “man” of the house since Merlin is gone and he is not necessarily up to such a task. He is more aware on walks of every little thing and worry doesn’t suit him well. I am working on assuring him that I have it covered. He misses Merlin a lot. We all do. But Trent is a worrier and now he worries much more.

Kera is not affected by any of this. Although I am sure that she misses her life partner, as I can feel it here and there when I say his name, she now sleeps in his bed quite happily. It is probably a blessing more than a curse for the sake of not grieving like the rest of us, but she suffers from doggy dementia and is on medication for it. But meds are not enough to fully restore the Kera that was. So she is mostly blissfully unaware of what the rest of us see.

So back to the guarding issue; aside from this hesitancy to step into the physical areas that Merlin “possessed”, there is also a real lack of in-home/in-car alerting that has developed among my crew. I was very much used to having to assure everyone, whenever a knock on the door occurred without warning, that all was well in the homestead and that mom had it all covered. Merlin was first at the door, of course, but the others were only a hair behind, “helping” him let everyone know that the castle was well guarded.

This is no longer the case. The pizza guy can knock (delivering a salad for those who know me well), and if they notice this event, it’s on a time delay status. The same goes for when friends arrive. It is not until said friend is safely ensconced inside that they come barreling down the stairs (Siri and Trent anyway) and greet the friend. The same thing happens in the car. Siri was notorious for not permitting unknown people near the car even if I was in it. Now people can come straight up to us if I say it’s okay.

This is not to say that when I am not home or they are alone in the car, they are not guarding the castle (and carriage). That remains status quo. I hear that when I come home from outside, before they know it’s me or see it if someone gets too close to my car. The guarding or lack thereof is most evident when I am there. They now trust that I “have it” controlled.

Does this mean that Merlin didn’t trust that? No, not at all. He just liked to help, which is normal for his breed. And I liked that he helped. And the others liked to help him. They respected him. Merlin was more of a partner than my other dogs. We were very connected mentally and he knew when to hand off things to me and when he should handle things.

Now the rest of my crew seem hesitant to overstep bounds when I am there. They do not possess the confidence that Merlin did. There are both good and bad sides to “the new normal”. The good is that my dogs trust that I can handle crisis. The bad is that I really miss having a crew of dogs blast towards the door when a sound alerts them. I like that. I want it back to a certain extent. I guess this desire means that another guarding breed is imminent at some point. A dog with the proper confidence to carry this trait off. But I am not sure that I want to rock the boat of “the new normal”. It is interesting to me how dynamics change so much when a crew member with such a powerful personality is missing. I would love to hear from others who have had similar experiences.