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Changing of the Guard? No, Just “the New Normal”

I have guarding breeds, mostly anyway. My beloved Merlin was a Doberman mix. I knew that he was the most alert of my crew but I guess it never occurred to me just how much more alert he was than the rest of my crew. Siri is a Rottweiler/GSD mix. Kera is GSD/something Northern mix. Trent is Pit Bull/Shar Pei mix. They all have some guarding heritage yet now that Merlin is gone, they rarely alert now. At least not when I am around, other than in one small way which I will explain further along.

The new normal means different dynamics.

The new normal means different dynamics.

We are about a week or so into the seventh month since Merlin’s passing. It is rare than anyone takes “his” seat in the Xterra. That is strange, since Siri is a 90# girl and she lies in the spot next to where Merlin reigned, yet I can count on one hand how often she has ventured into “his” side of the seat. Any of those times has been accompanied by the slightest smile, like she wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate or possibly even that she was just a bit proud at having achieved such a status.

Now in the house, it’s a bit different. Occasionally, Siri will lie on “his” bed in the living room or even more often, in “his” spot next to the bed in the living room, just like he favored. She also will as often lie in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, another super favorite spot of only Merlin’s. She never did this before he passed. When she does this now, I get the feeling that she is trying to connect with him and/or help me connect with him. I cannot explain why. It is what it is. She doesn’t do it that often and no one else does it. She does do it much more frequently than she ventures into “his” spot in the car though.

Now Trent is different. Where Siri is more relaxed, he seems more vigilant. He seems to always want to know where I am in the house these days. I am not sure whether he is worried about me or worried about himself. I think that maybe he feels that he is now the “man” of the house since Merlin is gone and he is not necessarily up to such a task. He is more aware on walks of every little thing and worry doesn’t suit him well. I am working on assuring him that I have it covered. He misses Merlin a lot. We all do. But Trent is a worrier and now he worries much more.

Kera is not affected by any of this. Although I am sure that she misses her life partner, as I can feel it here and there when I say his name, she now sleeps in his bed quite happily. It is probably a blessing more than a curse for the sake of not grieving like the rest of us, but she suffers from doggy dementia and is on medication for it. But meds are not enough to fully restore the Kera that was. So she is mostly blissfully unaware of what the rest of us see.

So back to the guarding issue; aside from this hesitancy to step into the physical areas that Merlin “possessed”, there is also a real lack of in-home/in-car alerting that has developed among my crew. I was very much used to having to assure everyone, whenever a knock on the door occurred without warning, that all was well in the homestead and that mom had it all covered. Merlin was first at the door, of course, but the others were only a hair behind, “helping” him let everyone know that the castle was well guarded.

This is no longer the case. The pizza guy can knock (delivering a salad for those who know me well), and if they notice this event, it’s on a time delay status. The same goes for when friends arrive. It is not until said friend is safely ensconced inside that they come barreling down the stairs (Siri and Trent anyway) and greet the friend. The same thing happens in the car. Siri was notorious for not permitting unknown people near the car even if I was in it. Now people can come straight up to us if I say it’s okay.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

This is not to say that when I am not home or they are alone in the car, they are not guarding the castle (and carriage). That remains status quo. I hear that when I come home from outside, before they know it’s me or see it if someone gets too close to my car. The guarding or lack thereof is most evident when I am there. They now trust that I “have it” controlled.

Does this mean that Merlin didn’t trust that? No, not at all. He just liked to help, which is normal for his breed. And I liked that he helped. And the others liked to help him. They respected him. Merlin was more of a partner than my other dogs. We were very connected mentally and he knew when to hand off things to me and when he should handle things.

Now the rest of my crew seem hesitant to overstep bounds when I am there. They do not possess the confidence that Merlin did. There are both good and bad sides to “the new normal”. The good is that my dogs trust that I can handle crisis. The bad is that I really miss having a crew of dogs blast towards the door when a sound alerts them. I like that. I want it back to a certain extent. I guess this desire means that another guarding breed is imminent at some point. A dog with the proper confidence to carry this trait off. But I am not sure that I want to rock the boat of “the new normal”. It is interesting to me how dynamics change so much when a crew member with such a powerful personality is missing. I would love to hear from others who have had similar experiences.

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Leader of the Pack? There are leaders and Then There are Leaders

Pack leader. That term has such negative connotations to myself and other professional positive reinforcement trainers, that I strongly dislike using the word “pack” at all. I don’t find it accurate in terms of how dogs live. I prefer “crew” to “pack”. I have no problem with the term “leader” because dogs need a leader. Everyone does in some way; but especially those who entrust us with their care. They are in many ways, like children who never grow up but one must never make the mistake of thinking that they are four-footed humans with fur. That analogy would not be accurate.

Total harmony on the couch.

Total harmony on the couch.

It is fine, however to think of the social structure that they like to live in, in much the same way as a human family. The word family will suffice just as much as the word crew does. I am in favor of anything that limits a human from comparing dogs to wolves in order to use that comparison as a way to modify their behavior. Dogs are not wolves, they are distant cousins. Are you the same as your distant cousins? I thought not.

Leaders guide, in much the same way as parents do. Leaders provide structure, training, safety and care for all basic needs. Leaders should not be scary or physically intimidate or harm their charges in any way, including emotionally. Some so called “experts” advise such intimidation tactics to keep their “pack” in line. I prefer a more benevolent parental approach. I am a small statured female with large dogs, so obviously my own approach works well or the inmates would be running the asylum, right???

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

Manners are easy to implement without force. Real leadership involves respect that goes both ways, between both crew members and the crew leader. Respect is earned, not forced. You never need show your ‘alpha” status to your crew, you simply need to supply the afore mentioned list of provisions. It’s all good from there.

I have written plenty in the past about the process of how manners are instilled so I will not repeat it now. I should, however, probably disclose why I chose this subject now. Easy enough to do: my last blog was about an unfortunate incident here locally involving a baby and a Siberian Husky. The baby was killed. Since this incident occurred, I have read a few commentaries by various people, some famous, some not, who declared that a baby needs to be of a higher status than any dog in the house. Plainly put, that is crazy talk. The crew simply needs to have manners that are consistently rewarded and the human adults need to be the ones that provide that input, primarily. Management tends to the rest of the equation.

Leadership is the most important thing that you can do for your crew. Tell me how you handle this in your own home.

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Family Matters: Supervision Required Between Kids and Dogs

And family includes your dogs. You love your kids, you love your dogs. You think that each should automatically love one another, right? After all, you do. But this is where common sense needs to prevail. Your dogs are predators at heart. They are not furry children.

Unless they have been raised with your kids from birth, they don’t know what babies or small children are. Some dogs still don’t quite get it despite the from birth connection. It is a parent’s job to both manage the situation and make introductions in an appropriate manner as well as training better interactions as needed.

Babies should never be left unattended with dogs.

Babies should never be left unattended with dogs.

Things get even more complicated when a dog is new to the home. Re-homing is stressful enough. Adding a screaming, strange smelling human-like creature to the equation and you have a recipe for disaster, without then proper protocols followed. Supervision 24/7 between the two species is the minimum that is needed in this scenario.

The link below tells the sad tale of a baby losing his life at the tender age of two days. This happened because he was left unsupervised, on the floor with a multiple dog household loose in the home, including a new dog who was in pain from an injury. I am going to try very hard to not point fingers. This young mother needs some education on dogs and babies combined. Since she is already a mother to two older children and from all reports, an animal lover who rescues those in need, I will assume that she thinks the best of all she deals with. But that is a dangerous move when you have just adopted a new dog. Erring on the side of caution is best.

Tragedy with a baby and dogs.

New dogs need time to adjust to their new surroundings. Especially when they have an injury, as this dog did; a treated at home injury at that. Based on the reports that describe what happened, what actually transpired was a best case scenario, as tragic as that is. There were four dogs in this home. There were reportedly two dogs with access to the baby during this short time. That is two dogs too many.

It is easy to kill an infant, especially one that young and fragile. Their heads are tender. They break easily. The fact that this baby was reportedly only bitten, not mauled, is a strong indicator that a curious dog was the problem. My own recently deceased pride and joy, Merlin, gently tried to nibble at a newborn when he was about this dog’s age. Fortunately, he was supervised so that is as far as that went. They were separated from such close access immediately. He was curious and he had no idea what the strange creature before him was. Those who knew Merlin at all, know that he was as far from aggressive as it gets.

Things could have been so much worse when a multiple dog household is involved, especially one that quite probably was lacking in training for the dogs. The group mentality is quick to take hold. It’s the same as with crowds with people. It’s undesirable, but normal. The baby could have been used as a tug toy.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

Dogs are just that: dogs. They are not humans. I cannot stress that enough. They do not have same reasoning skills to tell them that this loud and smelly inhabitant of the basket on the floor is not a toy. Some breeds are more primitive and therefore more predatory, than others without training to teach impulse control. Siberian Huskies in general are one of them. This is normal. Dogs do not possess malicious intent. This dog did not commit a crime. It would be a different story if he had killed an adult human. That is a lot harder to do and would require some serious aggression. It takes much less force to harm an infant. It is tragic all around that this baby had to lose his life but it in no way makes any sense that the dog should lose his as well.

This dog has no idea what he did. He does, however, I am sure, now realize that something very bad has happened since his life has been very scary since the whole ordeal transpired. There is a wonderful man who wants to help this dog. He has already paid for his former owners fines as well as provided the newly named Helo with proper veterinary care for his broken leg. Helo was seized from his new loving home to serve out his quarantine in a kennel. Unless the new owner appeals, Helo will be euthanized at the end of the quarantine. The new owner is appealing. I applaud him. This dog deserves a chance at a normal life in a caring home with a family that understands a dog’s needs. I urge anyone reading to donate to his cause. Helo will thank you.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/pittsburgh/s_783483.html

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Helping-Helo/259668777441094?sk=wall

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Walk This Way?? Please don’t approach us!!

Walk This Way?? Please don’t approach us!!

On leash, off leash; this topic can rival religion or politics. So can the choice to socialize or not when walking one’s dogs. For some people, walking their dogs is their quiet time of the day, being alone with their thoughts, while reconnecting with their canine loved ones. For others, it’s a time to connect with other dog lovers who are doing the same. These two purposes are at odds with one another so the potential for conflict is great.

To socialize or not to socialize, that is the question!

To socialize or not to socialize, that is the question!

I am of the former group. I would prefer that my private time with my dogs be undisturbed by others. It’s important to me. I choose the most remote areas of the places that I take my crew to walk. If there are too many cars there, and sometimes one car is too many, then I leave for another locale. I am very wary of areas where dog owners break the leash laws. I avoid them like they are radioactive.

It’s not just myself that I protect. My dogs are amazingly well trained but they are still dogs whose first instinct is to protect, both themselves and me. They are first and foremost mostly guarding breeds. The exception is Trent, whose heritage is not a guarding breed but he does have a history of being frightened and therefore reactive, towards dogs whose approach leaves something to be desired. He has come a long way with this issue. My goal is no setbacks.

The reason for the divide between these two types of dog walkers is very simple. The more private group as a whole, understands a good bit more about dog behavior than the more social group. In my experience, the more social group has either very tolerant dogs or one of the breeds that has little in the way of body awareness but a strong love for everyone. Don’t get me wrong, loving everyone is not a bad thing in theory but respecting others personal space is equally important. The loving everyone breeds tend to primarily include Labrador and Golden Retrievers, though there are exceptions within all breeds.

Overly social dogs are fond of the direct approach. This is typically frowned upon by the majority of the dog world. Humans stride straight at one another, arms outstretched for that all important bonding ritual, the handshake. This exact scenario is considered a direct threat to most dogs. Dogs meet one another by a curving approach, never straight on. They avoid eye contact when meeting strangers while we humans seek it out. Dogs feel threatened by prolonged direct eye contact. So do many humans for that matter but civility is required by us. This is not the case with dogs. A fearful dog will feel the fight or flight instinct faster than other dogs, though all will feel it when inappropriate.

Front cover, How Many Dogs?! book

Well meaning strangers sadly think that it’s okay to let their off leash or even on leash dogs head directly towards other dogs who are strangers to them. “They just want to say hi”. This causes anyone on the receiving end of such an ordeal, to either recoil in terror, head hastily in the other direction, shout at the human (and dogs) approaching to stop RIGHT NOW PLEASE, or all of the above when necessary. Any can come off as unfriendly. This could not be further from the truth. We just want to keep ourselves and mostly, our dogs safe. Please do not mistake dog behavior knowledge for rudeness.

I and others who are both private by nature, as well as “in training” with our dogs, just want something different from a walk or hike than you and your social butterfly dog do. Please respect that. If you meet us in another context, we probably have a lot in common; among the commonalities, a great love for our dogs. View us as a friend whose privacy you respect. Socialize with those who invite it. If you see someone with a dog who doesn’t immediately head your way, then waive and head the other direction, leashing your dog immediately (if off leash) especially if the locale requires it. We will thank you profusely in our heads and hearts.

Dear readers, I know how I handle the above situation. How do you handle it? I can’t wait to hear!

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Status Quo or No: Deciding to Add to the Crew

When is it time to add a fourth dog?

When is it time to add a fourth dog?

First of all, let me update you on Kera. She is mostly much better now. Evidently, the antibiotics needed to kick in. I will admit that if I am not on the ball with the fluid administration, she drinks too much water and throws it back up. With that in mind, I am learning what the appropriate time frame needs to be. Her days of longer walks seem to be over now but she really enjoys any walk, albeit at a slower pace. I will take what I can get. Every day is a gift.

This brings me to the subject at hand. I miss having four dogs. Of course, I REALLY want that fourth dog to be Merlin. Of that, there is no question. He is imprinted on my soul and I think of him many times daily. But until we met again, he is only in my memory. So I am torn. Kera may not have many days left and I want to assure her of my commitment to her without any competition for her attention. But I also wonder whether the addition of the right crew member may give her a morale boost. And what if she does have many days left and I am waiting for naught? ‘Tis a dilemma.

There are a couple of dogs that I have in mind. One is a dog that I spent a lot of time and effort in trying to get him to safety. He was on the run, after only a few days in a new adoptive home that a local shelter placed him into. He resembles my Siri. BB, as is his nickname, was finally captured in late January after wandering the local woods since August.

To say that I have been worried is a vast understatement. Now that he is back at the shelter, he is on a low activity requirement until medically cleared. He escaped from his adoptive home just after being released from his heartworm treatment just. He was supposed to be calm for six months. No one told him though. How he is with other dogs remains to be seen. However he is very much in my mind as an addition, should it be meant to be. By the way, he is a Rottweiler/ GSD mix, just like Siri, though with a head size double hers!

The other immediate option is my friend’s “puppy”, a Doberman/Caucasian Ovcharka mix, who is from an “oops” litter, that I was tempted by when that litter was born. He was returned shortly after adoption due to the adopter not being particularly knowledgeable about housetraining. Amazingly, despite his stellar qualities, now a few months past the age of one year, he is still with my friend. I have not yet met him, although he is listed on my rescue website. I wrote a blog about these puppies a year ago. Does this mean that this may be meant to be? I don’t know.

And of course, the right dog may be neither. I don’t feel ready for either choice. He (and I am sure that I want a “he”) may be a dog who has yet to appear. The answer to this whole thing is not readily apparent and I struggle with this whole subject.

I feel that Siri and Trent are ready for a new addition yet I don’t wish to short change Kera. I have always known when it was the right dog to include permanently in my life in the past. This has never been a light decision for me. So I look for “signs” that it will be the right thing to do.
Hearing how others have made this decision will help. Please tell me how you solved this dilemma.

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Do You See What I See? Trusting Your Intuition with Dogs

I am later than I intended to be with getting this blog up. I have written it three times so far and have such mixed feelings with what I am writing. The reason for this is Kera. She has been in kidney failure since sometime during Merlin’s cancer treatment so it’s been at least four months. But it was not diagnosed right away so her treatment (fluids, a different diet, etc.) has only been going on since right after he passed away. She had been stable and actually had even showed some signs of rallying. Her stamina had increased as had her attention and appetite. Not any more, at least for the last week or so.

Kera: Princess of the Bed

Kera: Princess of the Bed

My plan was to urge you to pay attention to your intuition. It had helped me both behaviorally and medically, with both my dogs and client’s dogs. But especially with my own dogs, I have paid attention to my “gut” and have been persistent with what I felt, to the benefit of my dog’s health. Merlin lived longer than I was told he did, Kera is on Anipryl and getting fluids, etc, and was much more stable than she started out to be. But now my instincts are telling me things I don’t want to hear. But that can wait for a moment.

For now, back to the original subject at hand: intuition. It can be a controversial subject. It shouldn’t be. Everyone has it but some of us are more tuned into it than others. But there is no mystery to surrounding what it actually is. It’s observation at it’s finest. Your brain tells you that you are seeing something that you should pay attention to. It’s figuring out the something that you saw that can be the hard part.

The something can be very minor but it may trigger a thought in your brain that nags at you. It can be easy to dismiss it because you often have no immediate connection between the nagging thought and what you saw. Don’t dismiss it. Examine it more closely. Let it float to your consciousness. Ask yourself what connection this nagging thought may have with what you know about your dog or the situation you are thinking about. Sometimes it’s easy to connect the dots. Sometimes you have to dig deeper.

Trusting and listening to your “gut” can save you a lot of trouble sometimes. What’s important is to learn to connect what you think, to what you see. Body language is super important when it comes to dogs. Learn about it. Watch your own dogs and if you are not sure what you are seeing, then take notes on what you see and what you think about what you see. Don’t think about the latter too much. Just write what you think. Compare the two. Connect more dots.

Learning to connect what you see to what you think is vital to life with multiple dogs or any dog for that matter. Dogs are “English as a second language” students. The better that we are at listening to what they say, the closer the connection will be. Communicating effectively with them is important and helps to solidly build trust is built. Dogs love being understood. So do humans, for that matter!

Let intuition help with preventing and managing problematic behavior as well as earlier detection of some medical concern. If you feel “off” about anything, listen to what your intuition is telling you. I am a big fan of better safe than sorry. My intuition has served me well and I am always sorry when I chose to ignore it.

Now back to Kera. My intuition is telling me that she may not be with me much longer. Things have been declining for the last week or so, despite getting her treated for a UTI that I rightly detected via observation/intuition. Improvement has been very minor. I badly want to be wrong. I am taking it day by day.

This is harder to know what to do about than with Merlin. Cancer, especially the kind that Merlin had, is merciless. The effects of kidney failure appear to change daily. I don’t want her to hurt but I don’t want to say goodbye for now before I need to. So I spend each day hoping that my intuition will be strong enough that I will not ignore it because I am biased. I love her very much and I don’t wish to lose her or have two such large losses in such a small period of time. So for now, day by day it is. Wish me clarity.

In the meantime, please share with me how you use intuition with your own crew. I need to hear it.

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New Year’s Resolutions: Exercise is Good for Body and Soul

Exercise: it’s addictive and a serotonin increaser. So why is it one of the first things that we cut back on when stress rears its ugly head? Go figure. This is exactly when we should make sure that we stay on the exercise track. Maintaining sanity has its benefits, both for people and dogs.

When it became clear that my last foster dog was also going to be my longest in residence foster dog (a year and a half total!), I gradually stopped my strength training routine. Oh, I said it was from lack of time, but it was really from the additional unresolved stress of having a dog in a house with four other dogs, that would be much happier as an only dog.

Then Merlin was diagnosed with cancer and the roller coaster ride of treatments began. And while I definitely continued with daily outdoor exercise for all of my dogs and myself during this hectic time frame, (including my foster dog, now in the best home ever I am happy to add!), Merlin had chemo complications periodically so we walked shorter distances and more slowly than in the past. Add to the afore mentioned complications, the fact that this past summer was one of the most hot and humid summers in much of the country, so we were actually forced to cut exercise shorter or slower on many days.

Walking Multiple Dogs for Exercise

Walking Multiple Dogs for Exercise

This is a long way of saying that we need to get back into shape. Merlin lost his battle to cancer in late September but for the approximate six weeks after his last bad chemo reaction prior to that, I credit gradually increased walking durations to getting him into his best feeling condition of this whole ordeal. Sadly, hemangiosarcoma doesn’t get cured by exercise alone but it sure got a run for its money.

Now that we are a three dog household with more time on our hands than in the past, I am resolved that we will be fitter, both mentally and physically, in this New Year. Exercise not only nourishes the body, it fills the soul as well, if you are an outdoor exerciser as we are. Stimulation of both the body and the brain does more for you than pretty much anything else I can think of.

So we are on a mission. Even Kera, who can sometimes only go short distances slowly, has increased her stamina enough so that she can walk at close to normal pace for what used to be a normal distance, at least several days a week! Kidney failure, be damned! We will show this silly thing called aging that we will be the winner! Every day we can, either pace or distance is increased, even if only slightly. We are happy with small victories. Even an extra five minutes a day or a twenty second run that we did not do the day before is something to celebrate.

Exercise is good for the body and soul.

Exercise is good for the body and soul.

My dogs and I love to be outside, no matter what the weather may be. Well, we can live without the heat and humidity but even then, we need the outdoors. We just choose locales with water they can lay in then. The wooded areas in particular make us very happy. And I am happy to add that strength training has been resumed, which is a big help with to sanity maintenance.

I want to know what sort of exercise you and your crew prefers and if you have any activity based New Year’s resolutions for yourself and your crew. Use the spaces below to share your thoughts. And get outside. Your dogs will pay you lavishly with happiness.

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Out With the Old, In With the New? Not in This House!

Old dogs, that is. Yes, I have old dogs. Well, older at least. There, I have said it. It’s a hard thing to admit. It forces one to confront mortality. We convince ourselves that ten is the new seven. In a way, it’s true. Dogs are living much longer these days than in the past. Part of that is because, in most cases, dogs don’t freely roam the streets like they did in our Grandmother’s day, facing dangers such as cars, angry neighbors, defensive wildlife and a host of other life shortening occurrences. Other reasons include better veterinary care, better nutrition and all around better care. Thank doG for this!

But older is still older and older is scary when you love someone. It’s especially frightening when one already has a recent loss of an older dog, such as with my Merlin. Yes, here I go, mentioning my dearly beloved boy again. Thanks, dear readers, for your patience with me on this subject. Merlin will forever be sorely missed, though I do try very hard to not mention him as often as I think of him. In any case, Merlin was about to turn thirteen years old when he left this world for the next one in late September.

So it was with some terror that I watched (and rejoiced) as Kera turned thirteen in late November. And then again when Siri turned ten a couple of weeks ago. Trent turned seven in August. That event solidly placed him in the senior category. Technically, all of my dogs qualify for the dog equivalent of Social Security. I am running an assisted living center for senior dogs!

But you know what? Other than Kera’s kidney failure, which is successfully being managed for the moment, my crew act years younger than their chronological years. They hike or walk daily for forty to sixty minutes most days, they eat healthy foods, they play (well, Trent and Siri do) and they are engaged in this world. Kera’s engagement is aided by the wonderful medicine for senior dogs called Anipryl. I cannot thank the universe enough for this drug. It has given me Kera back. Without it, she is in a fog of confusion. Too bad this stuff doesn’t work for Alzheimer’s patients.

The three "old" dogs love the snow.

The three ‘old’ dogs love the snow.

Older dogs are underrated. They are usually “done cooking”. In most cases, they get mellower. Take Siri, for example. She has delighted in scaring shier visitors for most of her life with her fearsome Rottie bark. New people in her life had to be bold. She caves to bold. She is a big baby at heart. But these days, she welcomes anyone I welcome. I like it.

Trent? Well Trent still has some opinions about some other dogs he may see while on leash, but he has definitely mellowed with the years. And what is more important, he has learned to trust that I will keep him safe.

Kera views walks as one of the most important things in her world. Pre-Anipryl, a walk was the only time I got to see her smile. With Anipryl, she still thinks she can chase squirrels and deer. And thinking she can is half the battle.

So while puppies may get most of the attention at this time of year, I think I will keep my “old dogs”. They make me happy. They make me smile. They teach me patience and one can never have enough patience.

So in honor of all the “old dogs” in your life, take a moment to tell me about them in the spaces below.

May your 2012 be filled with happiness, peace, prosperity and love, especially love of the furriest and purest kind.

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Visions of Bully Sticks Danced in Their Heads: Holiday Traditions

This first Christmas without Merlin weighs heavy on me. I am not sure whether my dogs feel the same but I suspect that they share a bit of my melancholy. One can never be sure so I aim to make their holiday as similar to past ones as I can.

I confess that I almost didn’t put up a Christmas tree this year. Oh, I decorated all right. In fact, I decorated earlier than usual, though not as elaborately. Missing are the lights on my lovely wooden privacy fence that would normally fill the winter night with a glow. But the inside of the house is almost as usual. I needed that much.

However, the typical routine was for Merlin to lie comfortably on the couch while watching me traipse about with a ladder, swearing occasionally and making a huge mess. My other dogs were never interested in watching this debacle and that tradition maintained itself this year. That alone made decorating much more somber.

So I decided that instead of a tree, I would decorate my many very large indoor floor houseplants. That plan lasted until this past weekend when I just “had” to have a tree. I’m not sure if it was for myself or to make sure that my dogs had as many of the same traditions this year that they’ve had in the past, or a bit of both. Either way, it’s up, it’s lit. The dogs know that pretty boxes and bags full of lovely smells typically get placed around it…boxes that they’ll get to open at some point in time. I wanted that feeling to be here this year, despite our huge loss. Putting boxes under the Sheffelera they live with year round would not allow me to honestly say that I was carrying on the tradition.

Kera waiting patiently near the Christmas Tree

Kera waiting patiently near the Christmas Tree.

My dogs have always gravitated toward the tree and like to lie near it, but they have never bothered it. They always seem to have found it as peace invoking as I have. Maybe because we have always been such an outdoorsy family; the woods are in our blood. Pine trees equal peace. As I write, three dogs are sleeping deeply around me, one of them in front of the tree.

Their stockings are hung, some of their presents are bought (okay, I am not an early shopper) and they will have their usual holiday traditions that they’re used to. Decorations as usual, constant carols on the radio, wrapping gifts in secret, opening a gift each on Christmas Eve, a hike the next morning after more gifts, chewies while the turkey dinner cooks, family for dinner and sleepy full-bellied lounging after dinner, perhaps chewing on a bone. Our loss will not be forgotten that day but I will make sure that Merlin’s memory is honored by continuing with the traditions that he so loved. Traditions are important. We will, of course, make new ones in time but comfort comes from those we know and love.

So, to continue with the new tradition of a more interactive blog, I want to hear about your holiday traditions with your own crew, regardless of the particular holiday that you celebrate.

May the spirit of this season be with you as often as possible, all year ‘round.

Blessings.

Debby.

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Muses and Musings: Life with Three Dogs

It has been requested that I update this blog more frequently but more succinctly. So here I go, as told. But my compromise on that suggestion will be to write lengthier prose approximately once a month or so. This is not that once. This is my shorter observational update. I have been wracking my brain for a topic. Nothing comes to mind readily other than what has been forefront in my brain. So you are getting that. Be patient with me please.

I miss Merlin. Very much. But not only that. His non-physical presence has made my other dog’s personalities much more apparent. Of course, I knew my other dogs well when Merlin was still alive. That isn’t it at all. But without him being here doing his regular thing, I have noticed much more about them.

Some of the things that I have noticed: none of my other dogs is much of a question asker or a status quo shaker upper. Of course they are intelligent. That isn’t what I mean. They are interested in life. They don’t readily accept boredom. But they are more accepting of my decisions. You’d think that a dog trainer would like that trait.

But I now sit on the computer far longer than Merlin would have tolerated. No one comes to ask when dinner is going to happen like he did. They just accept that it will and are far too patient with me. No one asks for a particular path while walking or hiking like he did. They go where I lead them quite happily. No one thinks of things to do after dinner like he did. We relax rather than toss a few toys about before relaxing. No one objects if we don’t go through a drive-through something after a walk or hike. Merlin would poke his nose up front in my car and “ask”. And the answer for him was always “of course”. He had fans everywhere. I could go on about the things that are different but you get the idea.

My dogs personalities are emerging, but things are almost too relaxed these days.

My dogs personalities are emerging, but things are almost too relaxed these days.

My other dogs are loving, charming, sweet, affectionate, smart and possessing of many individual traits that I absolutely adore. But they are not the inquisitive, insistently interactive, busy-minded, innovative and amazingly adoring of being with me all the time creature that Merlin was (and is still, somewhere, but not with me physically at the moment). So I have a void. A large void. I am not sure how to fill that void just yet. I am working on that. I know now that I need that challenge in my life though, so thank you once again Merlin, for the lessons that you have taught me.

All this contemplation leads to what I actually wanted to ask of you all who are reading this and being so patient with my ramblings. I want to hear how YOUR dogs differ from one another and what you value from each dog that you currently share your life with or did share your life with. Use the comment lines below to share that with me if you please. I’d love to hear it. “Tis the season for appreciation.

In the meantime, hug your dogs, all of them, and appreciate their individuality and love them for it. Happy holidays to you all, regardless of which one you may celebrate, from me and mine.

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