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Fairness Among the Crew: All’s Fair in Love and War or is it?

I have never been fond of the phrase “All’s Fair in Love and War.” Even less so when it applies to dogs. Perhaps it should be rephrased as “Lack of Fairness in Love Can Create Wars”; in the multiple dog household anyway.

There’s no denying it: everyone has favorites. I have written in the past about my special connection with Merlin. He was and always will be my heart and soul favorite. And in some ways, I made that a little clearer than I should have with the crew as a whole. But I like to think that I did a good job of being fair most of the time. And “most of the time” is the important phrase here. Merlin did not get the favorite’s position automatically, because with my crew, behavior often plays a part in who goes first.

I believe dogs are aware of fairness. And I am not the only one who sees this. A scientist by the name of Friederike Range, a researcher at the University in Vienna along with her colleagues, studied fairness in dogs. In a series of experiments published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences looked at how dogs reacted when a buddy was rewarded for a trick in an unequal way.

Many dog parents have known for a long time that dogs have far more intellect than humans give them credit. They think, they observe, they have emotions, they can feel slighted. As is with humans, some handle slights better than others. Some take it in stride, simply accepting their “place”, some show anger and start battles with the one(s) who get more of whatever the resource is. This can often be the source of squabbles in a multiple dog household. The target is the dog who is the recipient of real or perceived favoritism.

Thus being unfair on a regular basis in a multiple dog household can have consequences ranging from mild to dire. It’s easy to play favorites but if you do, spread out the love. Your crew will be much happier.

In any given multiple dog household, there are different personalities. Different dogs like different activities. Some dogs enjoy agility, some dogs participate in competitive obedience. Some dogs like to swim and some dogs like to play ball. There are often crossover activities that several dogs may go to or like to do. This helps spread out the love by joining activities. The simple act of doing different things with different dogs helps create fairness as well, by allowing all dogs to have their “me time”.

There are a number of other areas that fairness comes into play as well. All resources are ripe for unfairness. Access to special food, play, cuddles, etcetera than the other members of your crew will be noted. Play fair with affection and don’t allow one dog to regularly hog the spotlight. Fairness is an issue when annoyances between the crew arise as well. If one dog gets picked on repeatedly and no one in charge intervenes, that dog gets left to fend for himself. That is never going to be fair. This particular issue was addressed in the previous blog so it won’t be dwelled upon here.

Is the concept of fairness a concern among dogs?

Doling out treats in the same order is often thought of as supporting a particular hierarchy that you feel is appropriate. In some cases, this can be appropriate such as supporting the original members of the crew initially when a new crew member joins the household. This can be the oldest to newest method of denoting who goes first. But once peace is is established, manners become more important than oldest to newest. I have found that some people reward the pushiest dog first because it’s easier and that is the opposite of what should be done. This can definitely not only send the wrong message to the pushy dog in question but to the dogs who are politely waiting their turn.

There is always going to be some unfairness in life. One dog may needs meds or special attention due to a medical issue. But when it’s obvious to your crew that you make an effort to be fair the majority of the time, the better the chance that they take occasional unfairness in stride. Fairness is part of safety and security. Safety and security are vital to a balanced emotional state. Aim for this and you have fairness covered!

Feel free to use the spaces below to share how to achieve fairness with your own crew.

Tags: annoy, behavior, dog, fair, Favorite, force, interaction, many, multiple, order, peace, play, positive, respect, social, train, treat

Posted in: Projects

Executive Decisions: Why Do You Have to Parent Your Crew?

Frequently, I walk into multiple dog households that are running amok, for lack of a better term. Some just a little, some far more than a little. In many cases, my presence would have been mostly unnecessary if someone had stepped in as the decision maker right off the bat. Simply put, stepping in as needed assures the safety of all your dogs.

Many of you, who are also human parents, understand the need for creating and enforcing boundaries. Fairness and polite behavior towards siblings is important for human harmony in a family. The same thing applies to the canine members as well.

This is not an advisory to micromanage your dogs’ interactions. A comment to this effect on the How Many Dogs Facebook page brought up this important point. Intervening is a judgment call in some cases. For what can be considered small things, no intervention is necessary if your dogs generally get along well. An example of this is a dog objecting to being stepped on by another dog, by grumbling or barking but nothing further. As long as the clumsy one is not inclined to redirect, that is a perfectly normal interaction between family members.

Humans object to being jostled too, usually by reminding the jostler to be more careful. Dogs get this same privilege provided they can be reasonably polite about it. The key point here is to know your crew. If there are issues, you need to intervene far more often in order to prevent bigger problems.

Do not let your dogs work it out on their own! Not most of the time anyway. Really, the implications of such a scenario boggle the minds of behavior experts. It’s a recipe for disaster, just as allowing one’s human children to make inappropriate decisions regarding their interactions with their siblings. Oh sure, if you “raise them right”, some decisions will be appropriate. But so many more won’t be without initial supervision, intervention and consistency.

Consistency is the key word here. Set an example, make it happen all the time with few deviations, and you have a guideline for success. It doesn’t mean that you need to run your household like a boot camp. Nor does it mean that force needs used to ensure compliance. The best human parents don’t scream, shout and/or hit to handle their children’s infractions. They use conversations that include wise words and non scary but effective consequences for poor choices. But intervene they do, and because of that, the entire family feels a sense of security that all members are properly cared for emotionally and physically.

Will you always have to intervene? That depends on your particular crew and their relationships, but the goal is that you have to intervene as little as possible eventually – aside from preventing furniture from flying due to playtime bursts in the wrong rooms!

Security is one of the most important issues to any life form. Feeling secure allows everyone to relax. Safety from emotional and physical assaults ensures security. Give your crew security early on and you create the right formula to prevent problems later on. Combine safety and security with teaching manners and impulse control and you will put a lot of behavior consultants out of business!

Feel free to use the spaces below to describe how you create safety within your crew.

Tags: bad, behavior, boundaries, Consistency, decision, dog, dominance, emotion, fairness, goal, household, impulse, intervene, manage, manners, many, multiple, polite, problems, relax, safety, secure, training, work it out

Posted in: Projects

On Demand: Offering Manners vs. a Militant Nothing-in-Life-is-Free Program (NILIF)

I recently had a misguided person try to post a comment to one of my blogs that was not actually about the blog’s subject so I chose not to approve it. But aside from not responding to the subject matter at hand, the comment was urging some old fashioned training advice. In the commenter’s words, she was urging a “militant Nothing in Life is Free” approach, in order to keep peace among multiple males.

Jennifer Bird of Furkid Rescue enjoys a partnership with her crew. Photo by Caleb Green.

For those of you who are not familiar with this “program”, it used to be used by lots of dog trainers, positive and balanced alike. It involves commanding dogs to provide some behavior before receiving any kind of resource, be it dinner or affection. The initial goal was to convey the human’s higher status. These days, when the program is suggested by most modern trainers, it is used much differently than in the past.

Why? Because we now know more about dogs and hierarchy and dog behavior in general, especially how they learn best. Commanding has evolved into cueing and among the best trainers and dog parents, much behavior is taught to be offered rather than demanded. Teaching dogs to make better choices and offer the appropriate behavior in many situations not only makes for less work on the owner’s part, it makes for a more polite dog overall.

Rather than demand a sit for dinner, dogs learn to offer it as a matter of routine. The same applies to other high value resources such as passing through doorways, when receiving treats and chew bones, etc. Raised surfaces are another area where manners may need apply but unless a dog is guarding surfaces on a regular basis, my dogs need not ask permission before climbing onto the couch. Militant NILIF users believe differently. The same applies to affection. Now that is not something I am going to expect a sit or something else in order to offer. I share my life dogs because I love dogs and I want to show affection to them and have them do the same without some self entitled gratuitous offering of them bowing down in some way to have that happen.

Of course if a dog is overwhelming in the way that they offer affection to their humans, impulse control gets trained in every situation, including this. But there is no demanding going on. It’s all about teaching a dog to self moderate his or her behavior in order to get what he or she wants.

This person was very focused on an extremely structured approach that bordered on military style, including the wording used. Dogs are social creatures. They thrive in a family atmosphere. Teach them what the boundaries are in a benevolent manner and most will gladly aim to please when rewarded for doing so. Sentient behavior 101. There is no need to run your canine crew like a bunch of military recruits. That is not how you build trust; that is actually a good way to erode it!

Make no mistake, I expect manners in my home and that is what I teach my clients to expect, as well, from their own crews. But as previously noted, there is no need to demand anything. Reward what you want and you get more of it. This is not the place to explain in depth how capturing, shaping and other positive reinforcement methods are done properly. There are other excellent sources for such information. My goal here is to dispel the myth that one needs to be worried about petting one’s dog without demanding said dog perform feats first.

I have fostered many dogs and the first thing I teach them is impulse control. This is taught with a combination of capturing and management. I don’t issue orders. As another trainer recently stated in a well written article about commands versus cues, my dogs don’t have to sit, they get to sit. They LOVE to sit and I rarely have to ask and when I do, it’s with body language and hand signals, not demands. Benevolence is your word for the day, dear readers. Lead by example, not with an iron fist.

For more on this subject, I suggest Kathy Sdao’s wonderful book, Plenty in Life is Free.

Tags: affection, behavior, canine, command, cue, dog, dominance, force, higher status, household, impulse, learn, many, militant, multiple, NILIF, non-force, peace, puppy, rescue, training

Posted in: Projects

Tales from the Dark Side: When a Multiple Dog Caregiver Gets Sick

I recently awoke from the dead. Okay, I am being a touch dramatic but quite frankly, that is what it feels like some days. What actually happened is that I was very very sick. Like hospital stay sick, though I refused admission and lived to tell about it. Briefly, because this is not meant to be about me, I ended up with pancreatitis. Yeah, I had/have a dog disease. Go figure. Anyway, there is evidently no magic pill for this condition and it is seriously slow going back to normalcy. Setbacks did not help at all. The pancreas is a very fickle organ. I have, quite frankly, never felt this bad and I have had all of my extraneous organs already removed so that is saying quite a bit.

This whole ordeal scared me silly because I am a single multiple dog mom. There is no other immediately handy human caregiver to fall back on. So if things had been much worse, I would have or rather my dogs would have, been in a bind.

How long is it going to be till we get our walk?
Photo courtesy Heather Long.

I now realize that I need be better prepared for such a situation in the future. It occurred to me that there are probably other single heads of multiple dog households that should be as well. So I wanted to brainstorm some on how that could be done better.

Asking on the How Many Dogs Facebook page resulted in the usual suggestions: pet sitters, extra chews for extra crate time, fenced in yards, etc. All good info but expanding on this is important. It’s just not enough in the face of a real emergency if one is not at least somewhat prepared.

Make no mistake, I have several friends who would come at a moment’s notice to let my dogs out, who are very skilled with my crew. My dearest friend Jackie is who let my dogs out and fed them dinner, when it became clear that I was not leaving the ER with antibiotics for an infection. But she has her own multiple dog household so she cannot spend the night at a moment’s notice. Few people can offer that kind of a favor.

Now with my former crew, pre-Kenzo, I would have felt comfortable leaving them overnight having been fed, pottied and loved, with someone coming again in the morning. They would have been worried about where I was, but they were all trustworthy enough that I would not be worried for their safety or the safety of my house. But Kenzo is only 15 months old and 135#. I never leave him alone with the others outside of his crate for more than an hour or so, to run to the store. They all do wonderfully in those instances but an overnight stay with him loose even in the bedroom would have me worried about their stress levels. Trent would be stressed and he would be less apt to handle Kenzo’s pushing for play. Siri would manage them both well, but as I preach to my clients, we are not at this stage yet for the long term. So I could not leave him crated all night for that long. Hence my release “against medical advice”. It worked out.

So planning is now in progress. I have petsitter friends who do overnights. I will have them meet my dogs so if such an emergency occurs again and any one of them are free then, I have that option. I plan to start increasing the time they are alone for some outings and see how that plays out. I feel better about them having the whole house for this rather than just the bedroom, as they do when I leave for more than a store visit. Siri and Trent are trustworthy in the house, Kenzo is 95% trustworthy now and I am careful about what is out. Kenzo and Siri typically hang in the kitchen and wait my return. Trent tends to hang out in the bedroom. They have access to toys and bones in almost every room and they are wonderful with sharing. Extra space gives them less time in each other’s face should stress set in.

My dear friend Jackie knows how to feed my dogs but I will write up instructions just in case, so others can do it without worry. I have at least seven friends close enough by who can come into my house safely without fear of my dog’s wrath, and let them out and care for them. One has a key. I will now make and dispense other keys just in case!

In addition to my HMD Facebook page, I also asked on my HMD Yahoo group. I got some good suggestions on there as well, that prompted some of the above ideas.

Tara in Texas has a hubby and family close by but she is the back up caregiver for a friend in a similar position to myself. It was she who suggested the feeding instructions.

Kati in Maryland has a huge crew due to rescue work so she has an arranged back up plan of several friends who will do what is needed until she is well again.

So how did I manage without a plan? Well, I am very lucky. I have really wonderful dogs. We have a very good relationship and they clearly knew something was very wrong. They did their best to comfort me and keep me close. I have a fenced in yard with a privacy fence so pottying needs are easily tended to. I do feed raw so while that is not as easy as filling a bowl with kibble, I have it down to a routine so I managed. Pancreatitis and the subsequent inability to eat at all at first and then really lightly for a very long time, make for a huge amount of fatigue. I did use the aforementioned extra chew things and bones pretty much nightly at first.

Before I got worse, I sat on the floor with them and played easy training games. My finished attic that I use as a doggy playroom is priceless to me and them. Last but not least, some of you may be surprised to learn that even on the worst days, I still walked them. It was definitely a risky proposition for me but as I said, I have wonderful dogs and we have a great relationship. We walked far slower than usual and far shorter routes. My foremost thought was simply getting them out of their element every day. All this enabled me to sleep almost non-stop, aside from these activities, in the first week or so of my illness. For that I am grateful. It helped me start healing.

So now you have some ideas to start planning if you don’t have one now. If you do have a plan, especially if you have used your plan, feel free to add your ideas and experiences in the spaces below.

Tags: admission, behavior, caregiver, disease, dog, dogsitter, emergency, friend, hospital, household, instructions, many, multiple, plan, scare, sick, worry

Posted in: Projects

Altered States: How Important is Intact Status to Social Skills?

A recent interaction on a social networking site clued me into the fact that not all dog geeks know about things they may not have personal experience with. I believe this subject to be important enough to repeat some information from past blogs. So while this particular blog isn’t specifically about multiple dog households, it is about multiple dog interactions and therefore applies to multiple dog households as well.

Those of you who have followed my blog have seen mention of this topic before; especially, if you have been tracking the saga of Kenzo’s neutering. Mixing intact males and neutered males is a social setting can be tricky when the goal is interactive play.

While there are no scientific studies to support this subject, I expect that many behavior professionals have come across this particular quirk in their careers. Many a client has commented to me that their own neutered male “doesn’t like intact males”. Science, while wonderful, isn’t studying every subject so it behooves is as behavior junkies, to learn from other sources as well, such as observation and repetition of occurrences.

Now those of you who have never had the opportunity or the right circumstances to see such an issue for yourself may wonder what this consists of. The manifestation can vary according to the dog. I have a former class student who’s neutered male screams and stands on his back feet when he gets the close by scent of an intact male. This happened once with a dog in class owned by a friend, who I knew had just been neutered so we assumed that the surgery was simply too fresh. I later learned that said dog had a cryptorchid testicle so the hormones had not fully been removed. The reacting dog had been right!

I have been witness and a hearsay recipient to such occurrences for the entire length of my dog behavior career so it surprised me that not every behavior savvy individual had been exposed to this. But when pondering how frequently the occurrence actually happens, it makes sense to me.

You see, not all neutered males are threatened emotionally by an intact male. My sweet Merlin had no issues at all with any dogs he interacted with unless they were rude to him. Even then, until he reached his senior years, his fuse was long. Intact or altered, it was all the same to him. We had literally dozens of males come through my house as foster dogs, mostly arriving needing snipped. Interactions were pleasant all around. But Merlin was a confident dog for his entire life, sure of his place in the world, even as a puppy.

However, Trent, my Pit Bull is a different story altogether. He is very insecure, despite being very loved and cared for and having a secure life. He is on anxiety meds and has come very far with his issues but will likely always be insecure of his place in the world. Yet until Kenzo started reaching sexual maturity, I never noticed that he was among the neutered males affected by intact males. He never reacted any differently when out and about or having intact foster dogs in the house. But Kenzo stayed and was raised here and grew bigger and bigger in front of his very eyes. It became very clear that Trent felt increasingly threatened by him, although nothing that Kenzo did was at fault.

I have already chronicled what transpired with Kenzo’s social group visits with increasing frequency as Kenzo matured more. So I won’t repeat myself. But what I will do now is describe it further. The moment we entered the room with the other dogs, a dog or two, who would turn out with questioning of the owner, to be a neutered male, would rush over and snark at Kenzo’s face, trying to nip at him both in his face and around his face. The owner and I would interrupt and send the dog elsewhere and he (or they) would come back targeting just Kenzo again. The owner(s) and I would have to be continually on top of this for the entire hour long social. It was exhausting. So I stopped attending until Kenzo was neutered.

Other clients have told similar tales from either an off leash walk in the park or a visit to the dog park. Intact dogs are typically not permitted at dog parks but many people don’t abide by rules and most dog parks are not supervised by an authority figure. Anyone can bring their dog, well behaved or not, intact or not, to most dog parks. There is an assumed risk there. So while there is almost always some sort of a disagreement between dogs at a dog park, most people don’t ask questions to determine why. In many cases, it is the intact/neutered male equation at play.

What does this all mean in the whole scheme of things in the dog world? Well, as previously mentioned in many blogs, I am very pro-altering for the majority of the American dog owning world. Disagreements about the health pros and cons of either point of view aside, the behavioral aspects of having an intact male in a world of neutered males is an important consideration. If you have no plans on having your dog be social with other dogs up close and personal ever, then you have no worries. If you are a behavior professional and qualified to deal with the potential aggression directed towards your intact male, then go for it.

But if you are just a loving dog owner who doesn’t want to have to become a behavior expert just so that your intact male dog can safely interact with your neighbor’s neutered male dog, then just make the appointment for neutering. Why punish the intact dogs by neutering them when the true issue lies with the insecure neutered male dog? Well, I don’t see neutering as a punishment. Unless you are a responsible breeder or showing your dog (in which case you probably do have the skills needed to handle this correctly!), then I just don’t see the need to keep a dog intact. I expect that statement to anger many people. I am sorry if it does but that won’t make me change my mind on the subject.

In conclusion, the stakes are just too high to take the chance of leaving your dog intact, in MOST cases. So feel free to offer your opinions, POLITELY phrased, in the spaces below, on both sides of the issue. I especially want to hear from those who have experienced their own dog aggressing at intact males. Play nicely in the sandbox people!

Tags: behavior, dog, dominance, household, insecure, interaction, many, multiple, neutering, social, threaten, training

Posted in: Projects

Half the Man He Used to Be: Kenzo After the Neutering

It’s been almost two months since Kenzo was stripped of his manhood, just two short days after his first birthday. I am nothing but delighted with the results! I admit that I had normal dog parent fears of anesthesia and surgery and “oh my god, am I doing the right thing” ideas rolling around my head. I have a personal completely unwarranted terror of anesthesia so the phone call telling me that Kenzo came through surgery successfully was extremely welcome and relieving. But aside from those thoughts that were quickly displaced, the outcome of such a surgery has been very pleasing all around.

Why, you ask? I shall tell you, dear reader. The crew’s interactions are so much calmer and there is less consternation on my part than before surgery. Kenzo spends far less time obsessing about Siri’s lady parts than before (and she has been spayed for more than ten years!) and for that, she is also eternally grateful to be sure.

Trent appears to be far less threatened by Kenzo, despite the fact that Kenzo has grown quite a bit. Trent now initiates play on a regular basis and is less likely to be worried about Kenzo’s approach towards him on any surface than he was prior to the surgery. He is also far more likely now to appropriately let Kenzo know when he is either being too forward or he wants to be left alone. Trent’s typical response to such a scenario pre-surgery was overkill. Having him be more relaxed about normal daily interactions is enough of a reason to be grateful.

Rest time on the hike — with a recently neutered Kenzo

Interestingly, although Kenzo is certainly far more likely to obsess about smells than most dogs I have come across, he is easier to redirect now that his more primal instinct has had the edge taken off of him.

The strangest development has been in his eating habits. As many of you who follow my blog on a regular basis know, I feed a raw diet. Kenzo had started to be what I can only describe as suspicious, of some meals, in the last few weeks prior to neutering. Once neutered, that trait completely disappeared and he once again embraced his meals with his prior gusto. To say that this made me happy is a vast understatement! Worrying about what to feed a growing giant breed dog is not something you want on your plate, so to speak!

The final test of things that changed, that I had been eagerly awaiting, was his venture to the dog social that I had taken him too since he was much younger. The closer that he got to his one year birthday, the more likely he was to be harassed at the gate by neutered males who felt threatened by his intact status. He had started obsessing over their dislike of him and I would have to follow him all over the room, preventing him from “asking the dog why he disliked him”. That was the best way I could figure out to describe his obsession with them AFTER they greeting him with excessive snarking. He wanted to play with them and ONLY them then. It was exhausting and the primary reason I stopped taking him until his surgery. I did not want him to start reacting to their snarking. In addition to that response, he had started to also develop an obsession with humping the Golden he usually played best with.

I am thrilled to report that only one neutered male felt threatened this time and to a much lesser extent than previously experienced. Kenzo was very easily redirected from this rejection than in the past. As for this past humping behavior, it disappeared. He and Jimmer, his Golden playmate, played well and happily, taking turns with growly spithead. A grand time was had by all. Kenzo played so hard and well that he took the opportunity to rest before social was over. That was unheard of in the past.

I am sure that the naysayers are still going to tsk-tsk at what I chose to do, but as is the old saying, what is done is done. It cannot be undone thankfully. Being a professional dog trainer/behavior consultant doesn’t mean that I have the desire to be “on” all the time in my own household. Aside from standard manners and impulse control training, having altered males in a multiple male household makes a huge difference in greatly reducing the stress on all parties. I will happily continue to recommend it to clients.

Feel free to comment on both sides of the issue in the spaces below but keep your comments polite if you want others to see them! Thanks for playing nicely.

Tags: appropriate, calm, dog, dogs, force, grown, how, Kenzo, many, McMullen, neuter, neutering, obsession, play, positive, smell, snark, social, spay, surgery, threat, train, worried

Posted in: Projects

Dominance Redux: Words and Consequences Again

Dominance is such a dirty word in the dog behavior world, primarily because it has been misused so badly. Misunderstandings about its true meaning abound. Long held beliefs about dominance are clung to in some circles, despite scientific evidence to the contrary. The old school world of force-based dog training relied heavily on misunderstandings of perfectly innocent behavior that is typically just a lack of training.

The concept of dominance in dogs has swung from commonly accepted in the old school world of professional dog trainers to discounted or dismissed outright by modern scientifically based dog friendly dog trainers. As of late, however, the newer progressive school of thought seems to be to freely admit that dominance in dogs does indeed exist. However, each of these three groups views the meaning differently. Herein lies the problem.

Fully defining the word dominance as it relates to dogs is far more complicated than I want this article to be. Suffice it to say that the real problem occurs when the general dog owning public hears that the word has come into favor again. Upon seeing what they perceive as dominant behavior in their own dog, many feel that they are justified in taking some force-based action to correct that so called dominant behavior.

The old school definition is still going strong in some sectors; most modern rewards based positive reinforcement trainers understand the ( IMO, outdated) scientific definition but don’t see a need for the word as a label and the third group are purists for true definitions. I am in the middle group.

Let’s consider the sad fact that some TV trainers would have their viewers believe that their dogs are on an all-out mission to take over the world by exerting their dominance in multitudes of situations, when in fact they have simply climbed on the couch because it’s comfortable, for one example. The typical dog parent doesn’t have the time or the interest in understanding the nuances in the differing schools of thought on so called dominant behavior. Among the behaviors that have been called dominant that aren’t: rushing out the door first, walking in front of an owner on a walk, jumping up on people as a greeting, the afore mentioned climbing on the couch, and even chasing a laser pointer. Some are a simple lack of training, some are comfort seeking and some are just plain stupid. None are truly dominance in dogs as defined by science.

So I’d like to suggest here that we just stop using the word dominance. It may improve the physical well-being of dogs of the typical dog parent. Let’s rename the behavior. Science progresses, dictionaries evolve. So should word meanings. I propose we start using the word rude instead. It fits much better. It has far less sinister connotations. In any given multiple dog situation, dominance can rear its ugly head five times in five minutes or no times in twenty four hours, within the same crew of dogs. Let’s give an example of the true definition of dominance that can literally take just seconds of viewing time and has little to do with the often promoted examples.

Spot is chewing on his bone on the floor. Rover wanders in and walks up to Spot and gives him the hairy eyeball without getting physical. Spot really wants that bone but he wants even more to not tussle with Rover so he gets up and walks away, leaving Rover to the bone. All that took maybe ten seconds and no blood was shed. But an hour later, Rover has a tuggy and Spot rolls in and wants that tuggy, because tuggies are his thing. So the reverse happens with Spot giving Rover the hairy eyeball. Rover cares less about tuggies so he moseys along, leaving the tuggy to Spot. Are they both dominant? Yep, in their own particular situation. Would it be accurate to call either a dominant dog? Nope. Dominance is fluid and varies according to any given situation.

So back to my suggestion, why not rename social dominance in dogs? It has such a bad rap and all it really describes, after all, is a dog who is being a rude bully towards another dog in any given situation. We don’t call human bullies dominant. It gives them credence that no one wants a bully to have.

So why not give this whole dominance thing a kick to the curb and choose a word that brings a more realistic slant to the multiple dog situation. The world progresses with the times. Words take on new meanings because information evolves. I find it curious and unsettling that we hold on to a word that has such bad connotations and is truly unnecessary in helping dog parents modify the behavior of their beloved dogs.

Clarity is really what we all want anyway, isn’t it? The scientific explanation and the just plain English explanation both mean the same thing but are perceived in different ways by different groups, depending on their personal belief system. Let’s not cause confusion. All modern quality dog professionals who fully understand the scientific explanation want the same thing, regardless of their desire for word purity. We want dogs being accepted and understood properly as dogs, not as sly creatures waiting to take over the world locking their owners in the basement. How about you?

Tags: behavior, bully, clarity, complicate, definition, dog, dominance, force, how, many, meaning, owner, purists, too, train

Posted in: Projects

Peace and Good Will? ‘tis the Season for Stress

It happens to all of us, both canine and human, during the holidays. The hubbub and pace of all that needs done affects the humans. What affects the humans, affects the animals in the household. Stress is infectious. Oh, not via the usual contraction methods. But infectious it is. It’s a pay it forward type of infectious. It can affect how you act and cause changes in the daily routine.

Dogs love routines. Routines convey security and comfort. Routines are often very upended during the holiday season, potentially causing confusion and uncertainty. The humans in the household often have shorter fuses and tighter schedules, leaving less time for fun and frolic. Fun and frolic with the canines is important to them.

On the other side of the coin, fun and frolic of the over-indulgent kind on the part of the humans, can cause even more stress on the canine household members. Hung-over pet parents are no fun! Your crew learns to lay low and wait for the storm to pass.

Then there are the added culinary temptations to deal with, many having dangers of their own. There are trees inside, another temptation, along with what lies beneath. Decorations around the house, adding to the ambience for the humans, are more temptations to resist. What is a canine to do!?

Even during the busy holiday season Bing and Tango take long walks everyday.

How can you help your crew at this time of year, to feel more normal and safe in their routine? Easy, with a few simple actions. Start with regular exercise and mental enrichment. Whatever your usual exercise routine is with your crew, do everything in your power to maintain it. I never miss a walk with my crew. I take them in the car somewhere every single day; rain, shine, sleet, snow, etc. They may only get out of the vehicle briefly in the worst weather, to sniff something different than they can sniff in their own yard, but they get out and that is the important part. A minimum outing is about a half an hour. This helps us all. Sanity returns.

Mealtimes are another important consideration. Try to stick with your usual routines for meals. Adding rich treats to their diet at this time may be what they want but minimize the unhealthy additions. Real food that is healthy for them is fine but do know what is and isn’t healthy for them before you indulge them.

The most important routine stabilizer is attention from the humans that they love. Be fully in the moment with them at least once a day. Don’t brush them off because you are short on time. Make a love connection. Notice when they need your attention even if you can only offer a moment or two. Truly connecting with your crew will help them handle the hustle and bustle of the holidays much easier than having to stay out of the way of grumpy humans. It can also change a grumpy human to a less grumpy human. Lower blood pressure is a happy result!

Feel free to share your dealing with the holidays with your crew. Please post your secrets below. And have a safe and happy holiday!

Tags: blood pressure, comfort, decorations, dog, exercise, grumpy, Holiday, multiple, routine, safe, season, too many, unhealthy

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An Intervention is in Order: Canine Bullies in a Multiple Dog Household

It used to be called being dominant, and in some circles it still is, sadly. But this behavior is actually simple bullying. As with humans, bullying is always inappropriate. It can arise for several reasons, among them insecurity, anxiety, juvenile behavior in young adults and puppies and just plain old bad manners.

Being a bully has nothing to do with the breed of the dog who is the bully. Any breed can be a bully. Puppies who are very exuberant and having difficulty learning impulse control are prime targets to become a bully when allowed unchecked in a multiple dog household. Possessing a good temperament otherwise will not prevent a puppy from becoming a bully. One can be a canine bully and be a nice dog otherwise, which is where this act typically differs with human bullies.

Those who have children and who are raising them with limits and guidelines that are parentally enforced will understand this advice immediately. Dogs are not furry children (see here for more on that) but they are equally in need of structure and knowing what is appropriate or not. It is very important to set limits and provide said structure.

We as humans are not meant to be “pack leaders”; dogs know that we are a different species; I can assure you of this! What we are meant to be, however, is the human who provides for all their needs. This includes the need for clearly communicated boundaries, guidelines, information and reward incentives as well as non-scary consequences for infractions of said rules.

Boundaries should include, but are not limited to, preventing/intervening with these inappropriate activities:
• “nagging” any other dog for any reason.
• sniffing body parts of another dog for lengthy periods of time (especially when the receiver is obviously uncomfortable)
• insistence on play when the other party is not interested
• ”pacing” another dog (physically matching their walking pace outside of the realm of interactive play)
• “walk bys” of another dog (seemingly benign walking by another dog with the intent of intimidation)
• body slamming another dog in greeting
• being “in your face” intrusive without an invitation to do so
• any posturing meant to intimidate.

The list is longer than the above but it’s nearly impossible to include every scenario. Multiple dog households parents really owe it to themselves and their charges to educate themselves on dog body language and appropriate play. There are several ways to do this. There are a few well done books available that have great information on body language as well as the go-to DVD on this subject by Sarah Kalnajs. The newest option for this is Lili Chin’s fabulous “Doggie Body Language“. Another option is to attend organized playgroups that are supervised by behavior professionals familiar with both positive reinforcement training and dog body language. Watching the interaction through their eyes can help with viewing your own crew more clearly. You get to see what needs interrupted and what doesn’t.

Positive never means permissive when inappropriate behavior is being demonstrated. It is completely possible to intervene appropriately without causing fear or using force. Human to dog body language is useful to learn for this practice. When your crew respects your ability to set boundaries in a clear and concise manner without using an iron fist, they feel safe and secure responding to your cues to cease and desist.

Often the simple act of clearing one’s throat and throwing a pointed look at the offender will be enough to interrupt poor choices in an otherwise well structured household. Quietly placing your body between the two or more dogs involved can cause an immediate deflection. This is called splitting and dogs use it too. Using what I call “the mom stance”, hands on hips with a disappointed look on your face, can stop an incident if implemented soon enough. Well marked and timed Time Outs are worth the effort to learn to implement correctly. Read here for more on that.

Those who follow my blog, know that I have a puppy in my household at present (at the time of this original writing). Puppies are rude until taught otherwise. Sometimes I intervene, sometimes another dog intervenes appropriately for me. This can be permitted if you know what is appropriate in a canine correction and what isn’t. For example Kenzo, the puppy, stole Trent’s bone and Trent did not stop him. So I retrieved it for him. It took three retrievals and a “mom” look to eliminate this behavior on this particular day. A fourth attempt on Kenzo’s part would have resulted in a time out. I give three tries on benign behavior.

But later the same evening, Kenzo tried on his big boy pants and made a posturing move towards Trent. I did not have time to intervene nor did Trent have time to object because Siri intervened for both of us, immediately and quite correctly. She split between them with her body immediately and roared a bit at Kenzo, quite appropriately, without hurting him. She did, however, make enough of an impression (based on the size of his eyes!) that I am certain that he won’t try that again soon. So while you cannot simply allow the dogs to work it out among themselves, you can periodically rely on dogs who have appropriate mediation skills.

So it is possible to have a multiple dog household with several strong personalities, without having strong conflict, if you learn how to intervene when appropriate. One of the easiest ways to help non-professionals understand how early on it can be necessary to step in is to equate what is happening to toddlers doing an equivalent behavior. If your two year old was shoving your three year old or vice versa, are you going to wait for them to ‘work it out on their own”? I certainly hope not! Don’t allow those kinds of decisions to be made in your canine household either and all will flow much more smoothly!

Tags: adolescent, bad, behavior, body, bully, canine, correction, dog, dominance, fear, force, leader, multiple, nagging, pack, permissive, positive, puppy, slamming, training

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A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

Originally posted on September 23, 2012.

I have thought about how I should honor his life endlessly as this emotional anniversary approaches and I have decided that remembering some of my fondest moments with Merlin was the most appropriate way. I want to celebrate his life. He was a remarkable dog, He touched so many lives. I hope that I can honor him properly. So I chose to speak directly to him.

To Merlin from mom:

I was attracted to you the second I saw you, so small at about three months of age, but so sassy in that cage at the shelter. It was my first day walking dogs who weren’t on the adoption floor and I had just lost my Layla only a week prior to seeing you. You looked at me with such sly eyes, so knowing, so full of intelligence and humor. It only took one look and I knew you were to be mine. You knew it too. I was told that you had “sexy” eyes by another shelter volunteer, such an odd compliment for a dog but clearly true as well; something more than in most canine eyes at such a young age. Such potential.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

When we brought Kera home after you “chose” her just a month later, you were thrilled that I got you such a wonderful “toy” until you realized you had to share me! You made Kera “pay” for a couple of days, then you made her your partner in crime, deftly giving me a crash course in multiple dog ownership/training.

Having only had “easy” dogs up until you, you challenged my mind at every opportunity. You performed magic feats on doorknobs and crates, opening both without difficulty and with humor. You fully earned your magical moniker. You forced me to increase my training and behavior knowledge and I will always respect you for that.

You had both drive and persistence which made training you a challenge. You refused to be pushed around in the name of training and rightly fought back to any man-handling attempts. Your delight was evident when I learned a better way to teach you. We made strides faster than the speed of light and your responses made me beam with pride.

You became a dog trainer’s dream dog, able to go anywhere and be trusted with anyone. You helped shy and scared dogs learn to be brave. You showed reactive dogs that you were not a threat and that playing with another dog could be fun. You helped some dogs get certified to be canine good citizens; others, you showed your large repertoire of cues so they could watch and learn.

You were kind to everyone as long as they were kind to your family. You approached every situation as friendly until finding out otherwise. You LOVED puppies and helped raise Siri and her siblings until we sent all but Siri off to their forever homes. The memory of you laying on the floor letting puppies tug on you from various angles brings a huge smile to my face. You cared for the multitudes of foster puppies who spent time under our roof like they were your own. You grinned happily as they took new steps. And you sent them on their way to their forever homes with a smile.

You were welcoming to the many foster dogs that passed through our lives, on their way to their forever home. You helped them to feel comfortable and loved and happy. When corrections were needed, you issued them appropriately, showing kindness and restraint. Even as you eventually grew weary of one too many fosters, you handled it with dignity and grace and understood that we had a purpose higher than we may have preferred at times. You accepted our role and loved me despite minor inconveniences to your life. You understood that our little family was always number one and comforted by that fact.

You helped keep us safe in an urban neighborhood, sometimes fraught with strangeness. You always knew when to step in and when to let me handle things, perfectly assessing every situation. I didn’t teach you this, you were born with it.
You lived it. I respected your perfect instincts and understanding more than I can express.

You viewed life as an adventure, every new situation as something to look forward to. You trusted me to have your back and keep you safe.
Your sense of humor brought smiles to my day. You made every day fun and laughter. You reveled in the outdoors and made sure that every day had relaxation in it. Without your nudging, I would not have had as much play as I should have. You loved to go places, riding in the Xterra like a champ, “elbow” resting on the window ledge like a human male, grinning out the window with pleasure.

It was on one of our many outings that the first sign of trouble reared it’s ugly head. The day that we took our first trip to the vet, almost directly from am outing. On the way to find out what caused you such distress, I could not shake the feeling that my life had changed dramatically that day. I hoped I was being melodramatic but sadly, I was right. I would give anything to change what happened but I am grateful for the chance to have the extra time with you that no doctor said I would have. You handled all your vet visits with grace and dignity and even humor, making you a favorite at the specialists. They admired your good temperament and disposition, they loved your humor. They mourned with us when you were lost to us. Your loss created a void in the lives of many, the cards and condolences were plentiful, your memory a flame that will go on.

You took such good care of all of us, Kera, Siri, Trent and I, me being at the top of the list. I was your number one priority and truth be told, you were mine. I loved you best, feeling at one with your soul. You were more partner than the others. That always feels odd to say, fearing that some may not understand but I know that many will know what that means. It is a oneness with another creature that can only be described in that way, fully mutually understanding another without guessing, an ability to share thoughts and communicate without words. While that ability exists to an extent with my other beloved dogs, it has never reached such an understanding as with you. There is a piece missing now that can never be replaced. That’s okay now, as much as it can be, because I know that someday I will see you again. With that purpose in mind, wanting to live up to your ideal of me, making you proud, I move forward for you. I miss you with every ounce of my soul and I will celebrate your life as it deserves to be celebrated.

I have written and re-written the above in my mind a dozen times already. I wanted perfection for Merlin’s memorial but perfection is always out of reach; this is real life and there is no perfection. So I will “settle” for simply from the heart. Now an update on our emotional progress…

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since I had say goodbye (for now) to my precious Merlin. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him multiple times a day. I can go from okay to tears in an instant with the right trigger. But it IS easier now to try to move forward. It was and still is a struggle randomly and I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I suppress a lot of trigger reactions. I basically forced myself to move forward, for the sake of Kera (who joined Merlin on June 1st), Siri and Trent. After we lost Kera, we would have continued into an even deeper downward spiral, so deep was the loss in our lives, if things continued as is.

Those of you who follow this blog know that what changed the direction for the better was Kenzo. Daily, I am grateful for the gift of his addition to our lives. His presence forced us back into the game of life. No matter how much complaining I may do about never subjecting myself to puppyhood again, the laughter that he brings us is worth his eventual weight in gold. I will forever be in debt to my dear friend who made Kenzo’s life with us possible.

In many ways, Kenzo reminds me of Merlin. I like to think that this was by design, Merlin’s that is. Kenzo lies down to drink water a good bit of the time. Merlin did that for his entire life, preferring the path of least resistance in many areas. Merlin also liked to play in water all of his life, starting with the water bowl as a puppy, as Kenzo has and continuing to splashing in any available stream or other accessible body of water. The only area that they differ with regards to water is Kenzo’s dislike of rain. Merlin loved all things wet, rain included. Kenzo, not so much! Merlin’s fur was forever dancing about the floors in fuzzy balls. Kenzo has accepted the responsibility of continuing that tradition down to the exact color of the fur balls. Kenzo is vocal when cuddled as Merlin was.

But make no mistake, they are two different dogs. I know this. I accept this. I would not have accepted a breed that reminded me of Merlin because I am not ready for that yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope so as I love Dobermans with fierceness but I don’t want to make any comparisons so I wait. I miss my pokey nosed baby boy too much to risk more traumas. In the meantime, every black and tan (orange) butterfly that I see seems to be Merlin checking in with me. When my loss was brand new, I saw Merlin or thought I did, out of the corner of my eye, in various places he used to be. I do still see that but not often enough. I need the continued connection but I don’t think Merlin wants to me to dwell too much so I march forward and know that we will meet again. Until then, I love you more than words can say, my “little boy dog”.

Tags: behavior, celebrate life, dog, empathy, how, interaction, many, Merlin, multiple, partner, peace, puppy, respect, shelter, social, training, wonderful

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