multiple dog household conflict

Posts Tagged multiple dog household conflict

Up Close & Personal: Why Too Much Togetherness Can Lead to Conflicts

As all of us humans are now adjusting to a new normal, so are the animals that we share our daily lives with. Some of those adjustments may be unpleasant, as many families are now spending far more time with one another than their previous routines allowed. While to many, this can be a welcome change. But to others, this can cause more/new conflicts with the human part of the equation so it comes as no surprise to some that it can also cause conflicts between our animals as well. If you are seeing your dogs becoming less tolerant of behaviors that they may have previously dismissed in the other canines in your home, then you are seeing the results of too much up close and personal time. Trigger stacking takes many forms. Read more about trigger stacking here and here . We can easily get on the nerves of those who love us the most when forced to spend more time together than we are used to. Add that to the lack of our usual sanity saving recreational activities and you have a situation rife for bickering. Fortunately, it’s a lot easier to set your dogs up for success than it is to do the same for the humans in your home.

If your household consists of dogs who get along better overall because they are separated when you are not home, then you are possibly now finding the extra time together has created more tensions between them. The same can be said of humans who live together so this is not abnormal. If you are working from home, it’s not a bad thing to continue the separation arrangements that would exist if you were leaving for your workplace, if that is an option. But perhaps the room where you are currently working from home is the room that one or more dogs would have to themselves while you are gone? Well, yes, you can still use that room for those dogs but I would also suggest that you alternate which dog(s) are in that room with you if possible. Say for example, you are working on your laptop in your kitchen and two dogs usually have the run of downstairs and one is usually upstairs (or *your* variation on this arrangement). Then switch them out at lunchtime. Make sure that the dog(s) that are not with you have some enrichment noise such as a soothing station on the radio or TV. This is something that should be happening when home alone anyway. Additionally, make sure that all dogs have some sort of enrichment activity as well, such as a snuffle mat, Kongs, etc. Obviously take into account whether there are any resource guarding issues in place when you create this arrangement. You know your own individual dog’s need best. I am only providing some guidelines to pull from. If there are resource guarding issues between any dogs in your home, that is beyond the scope of this article. A resource guarding situation needs professional intervention so reach out to your favorite modern dog friendly methods trainer or behavior consultant. Most of us are offering video consultations at this time so honestly, it doesn’t even matter where you are located.

If for some reason, the above suggestions are not an option, then you can get creative with some barriers such as x-pens and baby gates so that you can still work, but not have to be so on top of interactions that your work is suffering. Out of your home enrichment can also set the stage for a longer fuse in any dog. Walks are still permitted in most quarantined areas. The lack of commute can give you the time to get these enriching walks in before sitting down to do your work. Sniffing is the best outdoor enrichment activity for any dog and it’s free! Let your dogs sniff to their heart’s content or at least within the perimeters of your allowable time frame. Read more about that here . Distance covered during a walk matters far less than sniffing time frames. The more brain enrichment a dog has, the more tolerant they will be about perceived and real annoyances. A pandemic is never a good thing but the fact that it’s happening when we have more daylight to utilize is super helpful to both the sanity of the humans and the sanity of the dogs existing with those humans. Use that daylight for extra sniffing walks after your work day is done. Drive your dogs somewhere quieter to walk if your neighborhood has seen a heavy increase in foot traffic due to quarantine mandates that cause walks to be stressful rather than stress relieving. Cemeteries are often dog friendly. Read more about that here .

If you are not working from home or at all right now, then it’s more complicated because you are likely more than a little stressed. In one capacity, that makes you an essential worker worried about your health while doing your job. In another capacity, that makes you rightly stressed about finances. Either stress will be conveyed to your dogs. I cannot help you with your own stress levels unfortunately but I can say from personal experience as well as a vast amount of dog behavior knowledge, that the more you focus on what you *can* control in order to decrease your stress level, the more that your dogs will take their cues from you. Less stress exhibited outwardly by the human means less stress taken on by the dogs. Focusing on helping your dogs navigate this new world will help you all. Spend some daily time practicing behavior cues with your dogs, both one on one and together, if that would not cause a squabble. Allow all of the dogs in your home some alone time. The ability to walk away and relax or think, without any outside interference is a priceless gift. Know your own dog’s needs. Some dogs are introverts and some dogs are extroverts. And most are somewhere between the two. Learn more about displacement gestures here so that you can better recognize when a dog needs some room or a break from being up close and personal.

All of these suggestions are written from the perspective that these squabbles that you are now experiencing with your crew are *new* situations that have surfaced during the quarantine. Pre-existing issues are deeper seated and need a professional one on one to help you unravel the layers. If this is the case, please do consult a professional with experience with multiple dog households who also uses modern dog friendly methods. Punishment will make things worse. If you need help finding someone in your area (or even anywhere), please contact me. I would be happy to help you find someone. If it’s appropriate, I am offering video sessions as well. More on that below as well as contact info for either option. You can also comment in the comments under this article and I will get that eventually (it seems to be up to WordPress when that happens, sorry!).

Despite the fact that this is a scary new world for all of us, many of us now have the time and opportunity to recreate our relationships for the better now. And that opportunity is priceless. Take advantage of it if this applies to you. If you are one of the essential workers who never stopped working during this crisis, you have my utmost gratitude and respect. Thank you and stay safe everyone. We *will* get through this.

If you are interested in a virtual Zoom session, feel free to contact me directly at Debby@pawsitivereactions.com or view my website .

Tags: managing minor disagreements with multiple dogs, multiple dog household conflict, parenting dog disagreements, parenting your dog, peaceful quarantine with dogs, quarantine spats between dogs, quarantine togetherness for dogs, spats between dogs, too much dog togetherness

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The Ties That Bind: Families and Conflicts

Families: they are who you are connected to in this world in a way like no other. The word family means far more than a blood connection. Some families have adopted children, who are chosen with as much love as others have who given birth to have for their blood born kin. Some families are a combination of blood relatives along with new additions, by marriage or other means. This type of family is incredibly common in this day and age, with second marriages and his and hers kids blending together as one complete unit. Unless your family is comprised of robots, there are always ups and downs. Conflicts are normal in the course of life. Each person has their own concerns and opinions and they don’t always mesh with others who share the home. If this doesn’t happen in your home, then I welcome you to present your family to research scientists so that you can be studied for the benefit of the rest of us!

I cannot count how often I hear clients and potential clients come to me with the worry that their dogs, who usually are wonderful friends, had a disagreement. As with human families, this is normal. What is different with your canine charges is that you, as the human source of parental guidelines, have the responsibility of determining what the cause was so that you can set future scenarios up for success.

Before I go much further, I need to make it clear that this blog post is not about canine households where conflict is far more common than harmony. If that is the case in your home, then you need immediate in-home professional behavioral assistance. Run, do not walk, to your email and send me your zip code so that I can find you a qualified behavior consultant in your area. The rest of you, keep reading.

Life does not exist in a vacuum. Every day is different. How you wake up starts your day off on a particular note, whether good or bad. Some days you feel better than others. Everything that happens in that day contributes to how you feel. How you feel affects how you act. Unless, of course, you have exceptional self control at all times and really, who does that??? I don’t know anyone who does. If you do, again there is that suggestion that you present yourself to be studied for the benefit of science and learning! The rest of us have varying degrees of self control. This self control is also affected by what behaviors that we have been taught that are appropriate and are reinforced well. The same applies to dogs.

Dogs that have been taught impulse control along with good manners as well as being reinforced well for making appropriate choices, are far better equipped to cope with an off day than others who did not have that same skillset. Add to that equation everyone’s natural personality baseline. Some are extroverts and some are introverts and some are in the middle.

Perhaps your dogs get along great 99% of the time. They play together, they rest together, they depend on each other for companionship and support. But one dog likes bones better and the other dog likes balls better. One dog is a bit worried about loud noises and the other dog hates rain. One dog is clumsy and the other dog is usually adept at getting out of the clumsy one’s way. One day while you are at work, there is work being done on your street right in front of your house and your noise sensitive dog is getting more stressed by the moment. He has self soothed himself all day by chewing on his bones while his clumsy brother has chased his balls on and off throughout the day, sometimes requiring a move from your other dog. The noisy work outside ceases for the day, you come home. The dogs are delighted, their walk is imminent. While you are getting ready to take them on what they have waited on all day, it starts pouring down rain. The clumsy one rushes out the door when you are ready to exit for your way, only to get immediately wet. He turns on a dime and crashes right into his brother in his haste to get back into the house. His usually tolerant brother has been stressed all day over the noise so instead of shaking it off as he would normally do, he turns around and scares the crap out of mister clumsy with a huge roar and pins him down. You are alarmed and frightened. Your sweet low key boy has suddenly become “aggressive”. No damage was done to clumsy boy but you are sure that tolerant boy has suddenly become “aggressive”.

If this were something that happened regularly, you would definitely need to get professional help. But if these dogs have successfully lived together for years and they have had no disagreements that you have noticed alarmingly in the past, then you have yourself a case of trigger stacking.

There are numerous articles on this subject available, some listed below, and this one is simply the latest to join the others, with a different slant. What it means in this case is that outside influences shortened a fuse that is normally longer. That is normal.

Read below:
Great Expectations: Life Will Roll You on a Regular Basis

The Cumulative Effect

He Never Does That!

Life is full of compromise. This is relevant in all species. Families don’t always agree on what the best way to live together is. Your dogs are part of your family. They have independent personalities, just like the humans. They feel differently every day. The more that you strive to understand that, and the more that you strive to set them up for success, the better chance that you have of existing with mostly harmony. So set your crew up for success and don’t expect them to be robots!

Feel free to share in the spaces below how you set your crew up for success.

Tags: blended families, canine families, dogs are family, dogs arguing, multiple dog household conflict, multiple dogs, trigger stacking

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The Grand Illusion: Multiple Dog Household Aggression Issues Can Be Confusing

I have written several blog posts on the subject of preventing multiple dog household conflict but none on resolving it. There is a reason for that. Most dog parents who are not behavior professionals are not well versed in the finer points of determining the true cause of the issues at hand. I cannot count how many times I have been told that one dog is at fault only to arrive and see a different story entirely.

Of course, rarely is one personality in the household solely at fault for conflict. It usually takes two to tango. But without a plethora of dog body language knowledge, most people just don’t see the true initial cause. Behavior better off nipped in the bud early on, has been permitted to continue and then not surprisingly, tempers rise. The dog that is eventually blamed for starting things is often only responsible in varying degrees from not at all to an equal partner in crime.

A situation that could quickly get out of control. Photo courtesy of Kate McGill.

I often see posts on the internet in various venues with multiple dog household parents asking how to solve a conflict within their household. Responses that are in any way different than “Get professional in-home help” serve to frustrate to me to no end. These issues cannot be solved by “dog trainer Facebook” or “dog trainer Yahoo group”. You need experienced eyes on the situation at hand to determine what dynamics are in play. Anything less and not only are all dogs in the household in danger, but so are the humans who happen to be present when any conflict takes place.

Redirection onto a human is a real danger when you are dealing with inter-household aggression and attempting to break up a spat. Relationships are not enough to ensure safety when emotions are at a high point. I happen to have a different opinion on dogs and their use of their teeth than some professional trainers. I do agree that if a dog wanted to bite you in most circumstances and if you just get a muzzle punch or a snap close to skin, then they certainly are just warning you. That is where my agreement usually ends on this subject.

With a dog fight, all bets are off. You CAN get accidentally bitten by the love of your life. Teeth are flashing fast and if you reach in to separate the feuding parties in the heat of the battle, it’s easy to get bitten. Think about a human in the same circumstances. Your emotions are high and a perceived rival attacks you. Someone you love reaches in to prevent you from retaliating and while you are wildly swinging, you give your beloved a black eye. It happens. Very easily. Don’t assume you won’t get bitten because you and your dogs have a great relationship. That would be a very dangerous assumption.

There is no general guideline that exists to repair the divide in inter-household aggression. Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. The dynamics of any household are complex and complicated. You would not expect to resolve conflict among human household members based on some pre-existing formula that you could refer to. Give the canines in your life the same respect for complexity. You need professional eyes on the situation to determine the root cause of the issue at hand. No two conflicts are identical in any species.

Often, the dynamics that are causing the problem are not immediately evident even to the professional. My initial presence alone will change the dynamics in such a way that just listening and watching while waiting for the dogs in the home to get more comfortable and act more naturally is an important part of the resolution. As is often in these scenarios, the behavior at the root of the issue is something that a dog parent simply considered normal dog behavior. We could be better dog parents overall with an approach to dog rearing that mirrors human parenting. The comparisons are very similar.

In conclusion, I will reiterate that if you have inter-household aggression, then you owe it to your family, both human and canine, to get professional help. If you are not experiencing all out combat in your home but things could be a little less tense, then avail yourself of the previous blog posts that are written to prevent combat and instill a feeling of safety and peace in your multiple dog household.

Fairness in the multiple dog household

Bully dogs in a multiple dog household

Parenting your dogs

Why safety is important to dogs

Feel free to share your inter-household aggression story below.

Tags: aggression, behavior, bitten, dangerous, dog aggression, dog behavior, dog bite, dog body language, dog fight, dynamics, force, household, Inter-household aggression, manners, many, multiple, multiple dog household conflict, positive, prevention, professional help, puppy, safe, train

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