relationship

We Are Family: Are Your Dogs Family or Pets?

I have always disliked that word “pet”. It implies a relationship of servitude. Such a relationship is unequal in an unpleasant way. The existence of an animal for the sole purpose of the human. That’s not why I share my life with dogs. I want a mutual relationship with my dogs. They get a say in their life. I am their human parent. I am not their master.

One of Merriam-Webster definitions of pet when used as a noun is as follows: a domesticated animal kept for pleasure rather than utility. Further google searches for additional definitions might include the notation that the affection is typically returned by the “pet” to the owner. How generous of that statement as an afterthought! Choosing to share our life with dogs should mean that the pleasure of both parties is of importance as a standard.

I asked this question on the How Many Dogs Facebook page: are your dogs pets or family? I did not calculate exact percentages from the responses so this is only a guess, but approximately 98% said family without question. Some even questioned as to whether I was serious in even asking such a question. Obviously, the majority of that audience is not who I have to convince.

The concept of dogs as family is not easy for some to wrap their heads around. Old traditions die hard. The traditional role of animals in the life of humans placed the humans in what was once referred to as an alpha role. That perception of our role in a dog’s life has been disproved by science. There are plenty of people still willing to cling to that role, however. Inaccurate information presented on unfortunately widely available TV shows contribute to antiquated information maintaining a place in the public eye. This also contributes to the unbalanced relationships that many people have with their dogs.

Dogs aren’t left out when friends come to visit.

In human families, those who are closest emotionally are not always related by blood. Close friends are often considered family and non-traditional nuclear families are more common than traditional ones (with parents who are on their first marriage to one another with only shared children in the home). Blended families are far more common in this modern day and age.

Dogs are part of a blended family. You choose them. Unlike blood relatives, you have made the decision to add an animal to your home. In multiple dog households, that concept is even more front and center. A cohesive household should be your goal. There are always going to be spats in a family. Love doesn’t prevent other emotions. Conflict is part of life. Your goal as a dog parent is to minimize that potential. Be the parental figure. You can read more about that subject by clicking here.

There are hundreds of multiple dog households with dogs who don’t get along. It happens, but this is not the scenario that this article is about. I don’t judge households like this as inappropriate. Keeping the conflict to a minimum and keeping everyone safe should be a goal in such households. How do you create a more cohesive family if your current crew is unstable? An article’s recommendation can only deal in generalizations. The number one answer is get a professional behavior consultant to help you. Failing that, be a strong but kind parental type figure who creates boundaries and is observant and is present for all questions and answers. Provide the information that is relevant, provide training for all dogs who need it, provide safety as well as all the other basic needs.

Families celebrate each other’s successes and share each other’s pain. Families stick together when it counts. Families have fun together. Families mourn losses. If your crew is happiest when everyone is together, then you have succeeded in creating a family. If your dogs greet each other after one or more having been separated for one reason or another, then you have a family. If your dogs look out for each other in some way in some scenarios and have jealous spats in other circumstances, then you have a family. Pat yourself on the back, hug your dogs (if they enjoy that!) and celebrate your family. Give them the courtesy of calling them family rather than pets. I personally use the word dogs rather than pets when applicable. I am the human, they are the dogs. Together we are a family. No pets here.

Feel free to share your thoughts on this subject in the spaces below.

Mythbusters, the Dog Training Edition: “Some Breeds Need a Firmer Hand”

Breed specific enthusiasts can have a narrow view on some aspects of their chosen breed. This is not limited to any one breed. I see it among many breed enthusiasts. Everyone wants to believe that their breed is more special than any other breed. So they say things like the above phrase to set their breed apart and in doing so, themselves as well. After all, they can handle this breed so they must be special too.

In truth, all dogs are special. There no need to make any one breed seem tougher than any other breed. To do so invites abuse of that breed in the name of training. This is unnecessary at best. It is a crime at worst.

Behavior is behavior. Modifying a behavior can be done with reward based methods regardless of the breed. Breed only matters in knowing where some behaviors MAY come from and in how to redirect them more effectively. Plenty of breeds were bred for a certain job. But that never guarantees that every member of that breed has that working instinct. It very much depends on the individual parents. But knowing what that job trait may be and how certain behaviors fit into such a trait are important considerations for behavior consultants. That doesn’t however, change the methodology that one should use to modify errant behaviors that are unwelcome. There are plenty of choices on how to implement reward based behavior modification.

No force is needed to handle these two Cane Corsos.

In fact, using punitive methods on strong confident dogs can create a time bomb waiting to go off. At some point, said strong confident dog will get sick of being forced and choose to fight back. Is this the kind of relationship that you want to create with your dogs? I sure don’t. All of my confident dogs have flourished when I finally got a clue about how to inspire them effectively.

Status breeds can often the choice of some people who want to use the perceived status of their dog to elevate how they are viewed by the world at large. Being able to “control” such a “tough” dog makes them tough. So they use methods popularized by a certain TV “trainer” with little education in dog behavior. These old fashioned methods have proven to be detrimental to having a trust based relationship with one’s dog. They also often create more aggression and a defensive state of existing in the dogs in question.

Among the fallacies I have heard are that Pit Bulls have necks so strong that they can’t feel prong collars and their jaws lock so that you have to be forceful with them in order to prevent that. Of course this kind of false information creates an adversarial situation with a breed group that is already in a precarious position in the public eye right now. The truth is that this is one of the breed groups that is the softest with humans. They are often eager to please and take to reward based training very quickly. Thankfully most Pit Bull rescue and advocacy groups operate with modern methods these days, although sadly not all do. Do your research before supporting a Pit Bull rescue and choose the ones who choose to train with their brains. Without that reassurance, you can inadvertently support very old fashioned methods that rely on abuse and call it training.

Dobermans and Rottweilers are two more breeds where you often see a heavy slant towards the old fashioned methods among their fanciers. Progressive owners choose positive rewards-based methods because they work better, without a need for manhandling one’s dog. Merlin introduced me to the Doberman world and fortunately for him, I wound up on the path to reward-based training. I wish I could say the same for most Doberman fans.

Fortunately for Caucasian Ovcharkas, Kenzo’s breed, the original breeder in this country who wrote the book on the breed, was ahead of her time. Reward-based training and even capturing, is mentioned in her book on the breed. Unheard of that decade, this is a boon to the breed. This breed tends to be the picture that shows up on the internet if you google aggressive dogs. Large and powerful, yet perfectly easily trainable with reward based training, once again.

The same is true of all breeds. Behavior is behavior. Expecting to have to be forceful with your chosen breed sets up an adversarial relationship from the start. This causes defensive behavior on the part of the dog and resentful behavior on the part of the human. If you choose to see believe that you have to use a hammer, you will see everything as a nail. Build a relationship, not a battle. If you have a breed perceived as “tough”, feel free share your reward based training path in the spaces below.

Tags: abuse, behavior, breed, Cane Corso, canine, confident, dog, dominance, exercise, fight, force, household, inspire, many, modification, multiple, positive, relationship, rescue, reward, social, training, walk

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