social

Posts Tagged social

When Life Hands You Lemons: Training on the Fly in Real Life

My dogs and I walk daily. Frequently, these walks take place in a cemetery close to my house. I have a self imposed rule on walks that my cell phone stays in a pocket unless I am taking a picture, which is only occasional. On a recent walk, I broke this rule. On the same walk, I also broke with tradition by simply depositing my car keys in the pocket of my rain jacket since it possessed deep pockets. Normally, I would attach my car keys to the ring on my handy dandy treat pouch that wraps around my waist, right along side the poop bag dispenser.

Image of Debby McMullen's three dogs, waiting by the car for AAA to retrieve the car keys locked inside.

Waiting for AAA.

Unfortunately for my sanity, said deep pocket had a hole in it. A hole that did not lead to the lining but instead, to the great outdoors. Because of my periodic distraction with my cell phone (I made one phone call and checked my email), I failed to notice that my car keys slipped through the hole that I didn’t know about.

We walked a longer route than usual in celebration of the milder weather that allowed for walking without teeth chattering. It was nice until the final approach to my car when I started fumbling for my keys and discovered nothing. My confusion turned to panic.

I got to my vehicle and accepted that my keys were indeed MIA. To add to my dilemma, I had just two days prior had to call AAA to unlock my vehicle with my keys inside, at the grocery store after a particularly grueling day. So because that had been the second keys in the car episode of the last two months, I threw my spare keys into my purse. Which was now locked hidden inside my car. I had been told at the last service call, that I had reached my limit for service until renewal in one month. Oh joy.

I first attempted to retrace my route to look for my keys but my dogs were not having it. They rebelled and made it clear that the walking was done for the day. I called several friends to see if anyone my dogs were comfortable with were available to hold onto them while I searched for my keys. Everyone was busy working though several tried to enlist help. I broke down and called AAA.

I explained to the dispatcher that I don’t allow interaction with strangers on walks in public. So I instructed her to convey information on how things would progress when the driver arrived. She assured me that she would relay this information. I hung up warily.

We waited. And waited. A car drove up and parked within ten feet away. Mourners visiting dearly departed loved ones. Mourners with crutches and already stressed guardian breed dogs wondering why they can’t get into their beloved car don’t mix. We moved behind my vehicle and practiced downs with hand targeting. All was now much more peaceful.

Mourners with crutches depart and AAA pulls up. The instructions given to the dispatcher evidently not passed on to the driver, he exits from his truck and strides purposely towards me. I gently halt him and give him instructions, thankfully before my dogs feel threatened by his direct approach. All is peaceful again. While he works on what they consider their very large crate, they practice Find It and more hand targeting as well as offered downs. This is the best game ever for them today.

Success at last! The car is open once again and we have keys. They cannot get in their big crate fast enough. Relaxation is upon them and all is well again. For those of you who are wondering, I retraced my route on foot alone again and no keys so I left my number with the office. I have high hopes that once the negative energy disperses for the day, they will turn up.

But back to the dogs. This could have been among my worst nightmares. Multiple large dogs, small owner, scary strangers and no known safety to access. But by staying as calm as possible and employing force free training cues that my crew was familiar with, this turned into an adventure that caused some heavy slumber later that day. And I got far more exercise than I had anticipated. Never a bad thing when you are trying to tone and firm for the upcoming season!

Training tip of the day, aside from don’t bother with checking Facebook while walking your crew, is prepare for the worst and make it the best. How have you turned bad into good with your crew? Tell me below.

Tags: behavior, crate, dog, exercise, force, household, keys, many, multiple, owner, phone, positive, relaxation, reward, social, train, unlock

Posted in: Projects

Admire From Afar: Appropriate Interactions with Strangers on Walks

Vehicles need repairs periodically. It’s a sad fact of life. Recently, I spent a day off from working getting mine repaired. While this is not an earth shattering event, one of the areas of my life that is affected if my vehicle is gone all day, is that my dogs and I have no method of transportation to our usual walking locales. So it is a bit earth shattering to me.

Image of the dogs on a calm nature walk.

What the dogs look like on a calm nature walk.

Oh, you are no doubt shaking your head at this point. Walk the neighborhood, right? I have and it’s challenging with multiple dogs, so I stick to short walks or longer walks during snowstorms that shut the city down. My dogs and I like peace when we walk so we drive to peaceful places. I am a nature lover living in the city. Fortunately, this city has a lot of available close by nature. Literally across the street, for one.

As I mentioned, I live in the city, in a neighborhood best described as transitional. Mixed incomes and education makes for a colorful place that sometimes offers more activity than I would prefer. So having no options aside from waiting until I got my vehicle back much later that day, I opted to give the neighborhood walk a shot. The crew was throwing expectant glances at the door after breakfast and Kenzo had begun his occasional whining of anticipation. I couldn’t put it off any longer.

Armed with treats and poop bags, we made our way down the hill to a busier street, intending to head towards the quieter streets once we had crossed. We had no sooner rounded the corner in front of my house when a passing car stopped in the middle of the street and waited. I stopped my crew, intending to wait until they moved. There was only about three to four feet for us to pass them and with three dogs as large as mine together, it wasn’t a practical thing to attempt. The passenger window rolled down and a woman said that they wanted to “see the dog when he walked by.” I am sure that they meant Kenzo, though the entire crew was with me. Kenzo is larger than the average dog so that attracts attention. Most people are more polite than this when they address me about Kenzo.

I was only about ten to fifteen feet away so they could see him already just fine. I told them that the dogs would possibly bark if we were that close by. They said that was okay. But it’s not okay with me to set them up to fail. And it shouldn’t be okay with you either. I silently stood where I was until they went on their way, after telling them this.

If I had been walking with human children and this happened just that way, it would be considered creepy. I think it equally creepy to have interactions like this with my dogs. There is a wonderful blog that was written a few years ago about dogs not being community property (read Dogs Are Not Public Property from dogster.com). It is so important for the public at large to understand that point. Parents would be very upset to have their human children be the focus of attention in that manner. I am equally upset to have my beloved dogs treated like side show acts. It’s impolite at best.

Some people are interested in being social when they walk their dogs. If one attends dog parks or interactive outings with one’s dog, then social interaction is the expectation. But walking around in public doesn’t mean someone is interested in being intruded upon, particularly just because of appearance. In the world of human interaction, that would be highly inappropriate.

Before you judge me as cranky, I have been politely asked from afar many times what breed Kenzo is or been given compliments about all of my dogs. I always light up with a smile and thank them and answer brief questions. The key word here is politely and the even more important word is from afar. Few people have expected to zoom right in the middle of my world when walking. Those who have, were politely but firmly redirected immediately.

Why is this a multiple dogs issue? Dogs feed off of each other’s energies. Multiply the quantity of dogs, multiply the energy of interaction. I choose to never interact up close with strangers when walking my dogs. My dogs have always been mostly of guarding breed lineage and as we live in this “transitional” neighborhood, I want to keep my dogs safe from harm, which includes not having to make split-second decisions about people they don’t know. We interact with people known to us on walks and that works for us.

I am also a huge fan of polite interactions with strangers. Like with dogs, I try very hard to not reinforce inappropriate behavior of any kind. That applies to humans as well. My dogs and I value our time in nature. It centers my soul. I see the same reactions in my dogs. I will keep that time sacred. When we want to interact, Kenzo goes to dog socials. He loves it as do I. But if you see us on walks and you are not personally known to us, please admire from afar. We will respect and thank you for that. And I will be eternally grateful for that gift.

Tags: behavior, dog, dogs, energy, household, interactive, many, multiple, neighborhood, parks, positive, respect, safe, social, streets, train, walk, whining

Posted in: Projects

Would You Like Some Cheese With That Whine? Kenzo’s Impatience Problem

I have a 140# toddler. Those very words could cause alarm in many circles but in this case, I am referring to Kenzo. At the still very young age of not quite two, Kenzo is probably less toddler, more teenager. But the whining that occurs within both age groups is quite similar most of the time. The rebellion is less teenage than toddler so I am sticking with that age group for the explanation to the whining.

Kenzo whining as he waits.

So back to the whining. What prompts it? Anything that he can’t have as fast as he wants it. This could and does include dinner, heading downstairs to prepare for a walk, arriving at large dog social, attention from favorite people. Note that I excluded breakfast. That is because I don’t think Kenzo is a morning dog. He is far happier barking at the deadly porch outside my back door before he gets his breakfast than whining. Sort of like humans are cranky before their morning coffee.

So of course being the professional trainer than I am, I don’t ever reinforce this whining. But it doesn’t necessarily go away with the extinction approach either. For now, I will trust that with maturity, my big toddler will become more patient.

Tags: behavior, dinner, dog, dogs, exercise, force, household, multiple, puppy, rebellion, social, training, walk, whine, whining

Posted in: Projects

The Elephant in the Room: Leadership in the Multiple Dog Household

The word leadership has become such a dirty word in the more progressive circles of dog training. Oh, don’t get me wrong, many qualified dog behavior specialists believe in and advise clients to establish good leadership but usually not with that word. The stigma of a certain TV trainer’s bad advice leads us all to tread lightly where this subject is concerned. So we call it parenting, guiding, coaching, anything but leading. The fear is so great that a mile will be taken when an inch is intended. We have good reason to worry, to be sure. I don’t even pass out my own handout on benevolent leadership anymore. And that theory took center stage in my book.

But the fact remains that it actually IS leadership. Good leaders are not scary. They are approachable and friendly and provide safety and security. What’s to be afraid of there? Did you ever have a teacher that you looked up to or were/are you friends with one or both of your parents? That means do you look to them for guidance but also share your fears and successes with them? This is what leadership is about. Providing advice, guidelines, structure and when needed, kindly but firmly pointing you in right direction. Real leaders are never scary or never harmful. Real leaders always lead with love and respect for who you are. This kind of leadership allows the ones being led to spread their wings and find their own niche and make their own choices, always being rewarded for the right choices. Having consequences for the wrong choices as needed, never scary.

My friend, Rachel, recently described a book that she bought on human parenting called Scream Free Parenting. This is a perfect analogy for being your dog crew’s leader. Scream free, force free. But make no mistake, parenting still requires you to be the leader, human or canine kids alike.

Which brings me to the point of this blog post. Leadership is the number one necessity in a multiple dog household with strong canine personalities. There is no getting around that. That IS the elephant in the room in the dog training world. It MUST not be forgotten. It must not be swept under the proverbial rug.

You certainly need training and manners and all that entails. But you need leadership first and foremost. So much of what I do on a daily basis could have been unnecessary with proper leadership from day one. Many of my readers are not human parents. Neither am I but if you have siblings that you possibly did not get along with all the time, maybe this analogy will help. You don’t have to like someone to live with them peacefully. But if you respect the leader of the household and feel safe from harm and all your basic needs are met otherwise, you can stand living with someone you may not enjoy. Sound familiar?

That is why leadership is important in blended households and that is exactly what a multiple dog household often is. Without leadership and manners, things can progress to such a point that takes a huge amount of management, structure and work to fix. Multiple dog household issues run the range of easily fixed with simple tweaks such as adding some leadership to all out dangerous fights on a regular basis where leadership is only the first step. While the latter is unlikely to be fixed when allowed to fester for long periods of time before a professional is called in, some sort of progress can be made in any situation provided the humans are capable of handling the situation.

And this is where leadership comes in. Now a comment that may cause some to get the flamethrowers out: I use body language a lot in multiple dog issues. Heck, I use it with single dog households too. Dogs understand body language far faster than words that we throw at them without applying meaning to such. I don’t use physical corrections or fear for training or management. But I do use body blocks, parental style stances and disapproving looks when appropriate and necessary. And in a multiple dog household, body blocks are something that can be needed on a frequent basis when conflict is happening. It certainly can be used in an very intimidating way as evidenced by that same aforementioned TV trainer. But that isn’t how I use it or teach others to use it. The goal here is to establish that the human is the go to for conflict resolution and safety. The dogs don’t need to handle those things. It should go without saying that any dog whose psyche would be damaged by throwing a parental disapproving stance their way, isn’t the problem child in the household and would never have need of such body language. This is done as a reminder that the human is the final say. Why would that be considered punitive by some circles?

This brings us to the subject of safety. Safety is crucial for all living beings. It’s high up on the pyramid of needs. Take care of that and you can take care of everything that occurs from the lack of safety. So now all that body language that cues the crew to look to you for safety and conflict resolution makes so much more sense than having no consequences for trying to incite conflict. Doesn’t it? Body blocking and splitting on the part of the human is crucial to a harmonious existence in some multiple dog households. I say some because I have seen other trainers say that they never need to use body blocking. They clearly are not working with confident dogs existing together in a conflict riddled household. My goal is as little re-homing as possible when possible.

And just as I would never use a body block with timid dogs who have no need of such a move, I would not dream of not using them in households with dog(s) confident enough to not wilt from such a thing. Establishing or repairing a relationship between the dogs and the humans helps this go smoothly. Keep the safety part in mind. That is what this is all about for all involved.

Body language establishes boundaries that dogs understood very easily. Just as good parents provide non-scary consequences for children who flout perfectly appropriate boundaries, dog parents need to do the same. Doing so provides safety for the one(s) targeted by the bullies, just as with children. Positive never should over permissive. That helps no one, least of all the one(s) with loose boundaries.

I could go on perhaps endlessly on this subject. But in closing, I will allow those who offered me their thoughts on this subject to have their say. Here are their definitions of leadership, though most use a different word to name it. Please feel free t share your own thoughts on this subject in the spaces below as well. But play nice, we are all in this for the sake of the dogs.

From Inna, a trainer in New York City:
With clients I use the term caretaker along with words such as clear guidance and well defined structure. I don’t use words like leader because I don’t want them to associate leader with “Pack leader”. I talk to clients about how important it is for them to help their dogs become the best companions they can be through clear, non violent communication & training.

From Helen, a trainer in Greece:
I consider myself as a parent and friend to my dogs…My role is to protect them, to care for their well being(physical and mental), to guide and educate them, to help them cope with things in life, to love and respect them!

From Jeff, a multiple dog parent in Ohio:
I’d like to think my relationship with my dogs is more of a partnership than anything though. We do this…together. I think it’s how Preston, the girls and I forged the kind of relationship we have. I trust them, and they trust me…therefore they typically do what I ask. Hopefully that makes sense.

From Crystal, a trainer in Indiana, PA:
I do not use the term leader with my clients usually because the word has been poisoned by “dominance” trainers but I use teacher or parent. We protect, we teach, we give them self-sufficiency. Yes, we must have discipline but that means establishing guidelines, not punishing them for our unrealistic expectations. We need to show them that we are steady and reliable, a positive influence in their lives, where to turn when they don’t know what to do. They are foreigners in a world of rules and language that doesn’t make sense to them and we are their guide. Our relationship is like a trust fall, and it is our job to catch them. Every. Time.

From Renee, a trainer in Johnstown, PA:
I use the wording positive leadership with my clients. I was hesitant at first to use the word leadership due to, well we all know why, but I decided to use it to teach a different definition of leadership to pet dog owners than the one they already might know of.

From Andrew, a trainer in Morgantown, WV:
I strive to give my dogs as much freedom of choice as possible, so long as their decisions do not have the potential to harm themselves or others. I foster and encourage appropriate decisions very early on so I have to do very little “active leading” or managing later on. Of course, how much freedom you can give any individual dogs varies, and some dogs prefer more active direction. …I guess I play the role of a cooperative partner…Partnership is the word that comes to mind. Leadership is certainly a component, but I have no problem allowing the dog to take the wheel either. And some situations require active direction, of course.

From Dawn, a trainer in Hawaii:
I don’t give it a label with clients.. I tell people that class is about teaching them to communicate with their dogs and have a relationship. leader/alpha etc. never even comes up. .. I guess even with non parents (before I was a mom still considered myself a dog parent) you can still have them relate to their own parents…… how their parents had rules/structure, etc to keep them safe. or maybe a ‘teacher’. But on the flip side sometimes people need to imagine themselves as a leader in order to understand how to create structure…

From Sue, a multiple dog parent in Georgia:
If I have to put any label on it at all, I’m my dogs’ parent….I have 6 dogs, we still have structure and rules and they look to me for things (to get toys out from under the sofa mostly) and I assume that is true for the way multi-kid families are–I don’t have furless children.

From Karla, a trainer in Virginia:
I am a leader if I have a follower. If I reinforce my dogs engagement with me, he pays attention to my movement, he follows me with his eyes and ears. And if he sees an opportunity for engagement with me, an opportunity for reinforcement, he follows. At those times, I am a leader.

Tags: behavior, canine, choice, direction, dog, dogs, dominance, fears advice, household, leadership, many, multiple, parenting, positive, puppy, respect, social, structure, train, training

Posted in: Projects

Fairness Among the Crew: All’s Fair in Love and War or is it?

I have never been fond of the phrase “All’s Fair in Love and War.” Even less so when it applies to dogs. Perhaps it should be rephrased as “Lack of Fairness in Love Can Create Wars”; in the multiple dog household anyway.

There’s no denying it: everyone has favorites. I have written in the past about my special connection with Merlin. He was and always will be my heart and soul favorite. And in some ways, I made that a little clearer than I should have with the crew as a whole. But I like to think that I did a good job of being fair most of the time. And “most of the time” is the important phrase here. Merlin did not get the favorite’s position automatically, because with my crew, behavior often plays a part in who goes first.

I believe dogs are aware of fairness. And I am not the only one who sees this. A scientist by the name of Friederike Range, a researcher at the University in Vienna along with her colleagues, studied fairness in dogs. In a series of experiments published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences looked at how dogs reacted when a buddy was rewarded for a trick in an unequal way.

Many dog parents have known for a long time that dogs have far more intellect than humans give them credit. They think, they observe, they have emotions, they can feel slighted. As is with humans, some handle slights better than others. Some take it in stride, simply accepting their “place”, some show anger and start battles with the one(s) who get more of whatever the resource is. This can often be the source of squabbles in a multiple dog household. The target is the dog who is the recipient of real or perceived favoritism.

Thus being unfair on a regular basis in a multiple dog household can have consequences ranging from mild to dire. It’s easy to play favorites but if you do, spread out the love. Your crew will be much happier.

In any given multiple dog household, there are different personalities. Different dogs like different activities. Some dogs enjoy agility, some dogs participate in competitive obedience. Some dogs like to swim and some dogs like to play ball. There are often crossover activities that several dogs may go to or like to do. This helps spread out the love by joining activities. The simple act of doing different things with different dogs helps create fairness as well, by allowing all dogs to have their “me time”.

There are a number of other areas that fairness comes into play as well. All resources are ripe for unfairness. Access to special food, play, cuddles, etcetera than the other members of your crew will be noted. Play fair with affection and don’t allow one dog to regularly hog the spotlight. Fairness is an issue when annoyances between the crew arise as well. If one dog gets picked on repeatedly and no one in charge intervenes, that dog gets left to fend for himself. That is never going to be fair. This particular issue was addressed in the previous blog so it won’t be dwelled upon here.

Is the concept of fairness a concern among dogs?

Doling out treats in the same order is often thought of as supporting a particular hierarchy that you feel is appropriate. In some cases, this can be appropriate such as supporting the original members of the crew initially when a new crew member joins the household. This can be the oldest to newest method of denoting who goes first. But once peace is is established, manners become more important than oldest to newest. I have found that some people reward the pushiest dog first because it’s easier and that is the opposite of what should be done. This can definitely not only send the wrong message to the pushy dog in question but to the dogs who are politely waiting their turn.

There is always going to be some unfairness in life. One dog may needs meds or special attention due to a medical issue. But when it’s obvious to your crew that you make an effort to be fair the majority of the time, the better the chance that they take occasional unfairness in stride. Fairness is part of safety and security. Safety and security are vital to a balanced emotional state. Aim for this and you have fairness covered!

Feel free to use the spaces below to share how to achieve fairness with your own crew.

Tags: annoy, behavior, dog, fair, Favorite, force, interaction, many, multiple, order, peace, play, positive, respect, social, train, treat

Posted in: Projects

Altered States: How Important is Intact Status to Social Skills?

A recent interaction on a social networking site clued me into the fact that not all dog geeks know about things they may not have personal experience with. I believe this subject to be important enough to repeat some information from past blogs. So while this particular blog isn’t specifically about multiple dog households, it is about multiple dog interactions and therefore applies to multiple dog households as well.

Those of you who have followed my blog have seen mention of this topic before; especially, if you have been tracking the saga of Kenzo’s neutering. Mixing intact males and neutered males is a social setting can be tricky when the goal is interactive play.

While there are no scientific studies to support this subject, I expect that many behavior professionals have come across this particular quirk in their careers. Many a client has commented to me that their own neutered male “doesn’t like intact males”. Science, while wonderful, isn’t studying every subject so it behooves is as behavior junkies, to learn from other sources as well, such as observation and repetition of occurrences.

Now those of you who have never had the opportunity or the right circumstances to see such an issue for yourself may wonder what this consists of. The manifestation can vary according to the dog. I have a former class student who’s neutered male screams and stands on his back feet when he gets the close by scent of an intact male. This happened once with a dog in class owned by a friend, who I knew had just been neutered so we assumed that the surgery was simply too fresh. I later learned that said dog had a cryptorchid testicle so the hormones had not fully been removed. The reacting dog had been right!

I have been witness and a hearsay recipient to such occurrences for the entire length of my dog behavior career so it surprised me that not every behavior savvy individual had been exposed to this. But when pondering how frequently the occurrence actually happens, it makes sense to me.

You see, not all neutered males are threatened emotionally by an intact male. My sweet Merlin had no issues at all with any dogs he interacted with unless they were rude to him. Even then, until he reached his senior years, his fuse was long. Intact or altered, it was all the same to him. We had literally dozens of males come through my house as foster dogs, mostly arriving needing snipped. Interactions were pleasant all around. But Merlin was a confident dog for his entire life, sure of his place in the world, even as a puppy.

However, Trent, my Pit Bull is a different story altogether. He is very insecure, despite being very loved and cared for and having a secure life. He is on anxiety meds and has come very far with his issues but will likely always be insecure of his place in the world. Yet until Kenzo started reaching sexual maturity, I never noticed that he was among the neutered males affected by intact males. He never reacted any differently when out and about or having intact foster dogs in the house. But Kenzo stayed and was raised here and grew bigger and bigger in front of his very eyes. It became very clear that Trent felt increasingly threatened by him, although nothing that Kenzo did was at fault.

I have already chronicled what transpired with Kenzo’s social group visits with increasing frequency as Kenzo matured more. So I won’t repeat myself. But what I will do now is describe it further. The moment we entered the room with the other dogs, a dog or two, who would turn out with questioning of the owner, to be a neutered male, would rush over and snark at Kenzo’s face, trying to nip at him both in his face and around his face. The owner and I would interrupt and send the dog elsewhere and he (or they) would come back targeting just Kenzo again. The owner(s) and I would have to be continually on top of this for the entire hour long social. It was exhausting. So I stopped attending until Kenzo was neutered.

Other clients have told similar tales from either an off leash walk in the park or a visit to the dog park. Intact dogs are typically not permitted at dog parks but many people don’t abide by rules and most dog parks are not supervised by an authority figure. Anyone can bring their dog, well behaved or not, intact or not, to most dog parks. There is an assumed risk there. So while there is almost always some sort of a disagreement between dogs at a dog park, most people don’t ask questions to determine why. In many cases, it is the intact/neutered male equation at play.

What does this all mean in the whole scheme of things in the dog world? Well, as previously mentioned in many blogs, I am very pro-altering for the majority of the American dog owning world. Disagreements about the health pros and cons of either point of view aside, the behavioral aspects of having an intact male in a world of neutered males is an important consideration. If you have no plans on having your dog be social with other dogs up close and personal ever, then you have no worries. If you are a behavior professional and qualified to deal with the potential aggression directed towards your intact male, then go for it.

But if you are just a loving dog owner who doesn’t want to have to become a behavior expert just so that your intact male dog can safely interact with your neighbor’s neutered male dog, then just make the appointment for neutering. Why punish the intact dogs by neutering them when the true issue lies with the insecure neutered male dog? Well, I don’t see neutering as a punishment. Unless you are a responsible breeder or showing your dog (in which case you probably do have the skills needed to handle this correctly!), then I just don’t see the need to keep a dog intact. I expect that statement to anger many people. I am sorry if it does but that won’t make me change my mind on the subject.

In conclusion, the stakes are just too high to take the chance of leaving your dog intact, in MOST cases. So feel free to offer your opinions, POLITELY phrased, in the spaces below, on both sides of the issue. I especially want to hear from those who have experienced their own dog aggressing at intact males. Play nicely in the sandbox people!

Tags: behavior, dog, dominance, household, insecure, interaction, many, multiple, neutering, social, threaten, training

Posted in: Projects

Half the Man He Used to Be: Kenzo After the Neutering

It’s been almost two months since Kenzo was stripped of his manhood, just two short days after his first birthday. I am nothing but delighted with the results! I admit that I had normal dog parent fears of anesthesia and surgery and “oh my god, am I doing the right thing” ideas rolling around my head. I have a personal completely unwarranted terror of anesthesia so the phone call telling me that Kenzo came through surgery successfully was extremely welcome and relieving. But aside from those thoughts that were quickly displaced, the outcome of such a surgery has been very pleasing all around.

Why, you ask? I shall tell you, dear reader. The crew’s interactions are so much calmer and there is less consternation on my part than before surgery. Kenzo spends far less time obsessing about Siri’s lady parts than before (and she has been spayed for more than ten years!) and for that, she is also eternally grateful to be sure.

Trent appears to be far less threatened by Kenzo, despite the fact that Kenzo has grown quite a bit. Trent now initiates play on a regular basis and is less likely to be worried about Kenzo’s approach towards him on any surface than he was prior to the surgery. He is also far more likely now to appropriately let Kenzo know when he is either being too forward or he wants to be left alone. Trent’s typical response to such a scenario pre-surgery was overkill. Having him be more relaxed about normal daily interactions is enough of a reason to be grateful.

Rest time on the hike — with a recently neutered Kenzo

Interestingly, although Kenzo is certainly far more likely to obsess about smells than most dogs I have come across, he is easier to redirect now that his more primal instinct has had the edge taken off of him.

The strangest development has been in his eating habits. As many of you who follow my blog on a regular basis know, I feed a raw diet. Kenzo had started to be what I can only describe as suspicious, of some meals, in the last few weeks prior to neutering. Once neutered, that trait completely disappeared and he once again embraced his meals with his prior gusto. To say that this made me happy is a vast understatement! Worrying about what to feed a growing giant breed dog is not something you want on your plate, so to speak!

The final test of things that changed, that I had been eagerly awaiting, was his venture to the dog social that I had taken him too since he was much younger. The closer that he got to his one year birthday, the more likely he was to be harassed at the gate by neutered males who felt threatened by his intact status. He had started obsessing over their dislike of him and I would have to follow him all over the room, preventing him from “asking the dog why he disliked him”. That was the best way I could figure out to describe his obsession with them AFTER they greeting him with excessive snarking. He wanted to play with them and ONLY them then. It was exhausting and the primary reason I stopped taking him until his surgery. I did not want him to start reacting to their snarking. In addition to that response, he had started to also develop an obsession with humping the Golden he usually played best with.

I am thrilled to report that only one neutered male felt threatened this time and to a much lesser extent than previously experienced. Kenzo was very easily redirected from this rejection than in the past. As for this past humping behavior, it disappeared. He and Jimmer, his Golden playmate, played well and happily, taking turns with growly spithead. A grand time was had by all. Kenzo played so hard and well that he took the opportunity to rest before social was over. That was unheard of in the past.

I am sure that the naysayers are still going to tsk-tsk at what I chose to do, but as is the old saying, what is done is done. It cannot be undone thankfully. Being a professional dog trainer/behavior consultant doesn’t mean that I have the desire to be “on” all the time in my own household. Aside from standard manners and impulse control training, having altered males in a multiple male household makes a huge difference in greatly reducing the stress on all parties. I will happily continue to recommend it to clients.

Feel free to comment on both sides of the issue in the spaces below but keep your comments polite if you want others to see them! Thanks for playing nicely.

Tags: appropriate, calm, dog, dogs, force, grown, how, Kenzo, many, McMullen, neuter, neutering, obsession, play, positive, smell, snark, social, spay, surgery, threat, train, worried

Posted in: Projects

The Final Countdown: Kenzo’s Neutering is Scheduled

It has been a long and challenging wait for this upcoming moment. The big day cannot come soon enough for me. I am guessing Trent will also be relieved when Kenzo comes home that day sans testosterone creating equipment. I know the few neutered males who view him warily at his bi-weekly social will be happier. As will the friendly male Golden who Kenzo normally plays well with, that he unexpectedly and obsessively tried to hump at the last social I took him too.

The last time I broached this subject on here, the tone of the comments was much more pleasant than the tone on my Facebook page when I asked for input on the pros and cons. But because this subject is such a hot button with many, I expect that now that I have the surgery scheduled, this may heat things up a bit again. I only ask that all those who comment remain polite. Censorship is alive and well here for those who choose not to censor themselves from rudeness!

Trent can’t wait for Kenzo to be neutered.

Make no mistake, the surgery itself is not up for discussion; it is happening no matter how much some may disagree with it. For others, it is late in coming, I am sure. Kenzo will be one year and two days of age when he goes under the knife, so to speak. I have waited longer than I ever would have with a smaller dog. He is about 7/8th of full size, I am guessing, at a weight of approximately one hundred and twenty pounds. He has another month to develop further though that is only by the grace of surgery scheduling for his size, not my own timeline choosing.

This road has been challenging, with an increasing interest in indoor marking on Siri’s favorite spots, Trent’s bed and anything in his path on the way to the door to the yard in the morning. He wore a belly band for a couple of weeks so that I could allow him to walk out of site without worrying about having to launder everything in my house. He got the message quickly, thankfully so that is no longer an issue. He did, however, feel the need to mark the water bowl at the dog social after drinking from it at the last attendance, the same day that included the humping issue. Clearly, that was a trying day.

His interactions with Trent have improved thanks to constant vigilance on my part and Trent now feels comfortable initiating play. They play together most days, now that I am placing a premium on setting aside playtime as often as possible in their playroom. Even without pre-arranged playtime, they often interact playfully in the living room during family time or while I am working on the computer. The decrease in the friction makes me happier than I can possibly express. But it’s still there and it’s still the testosterone that triggers it.

The progress may have you wondering why I am not waiting longer. Well, Kenzo still thinks he has big boy pants on far too much for my tastes, though that has admittedly decreased. Trent is still more nervous than I want him to feel in his own home. But the biggest concern is how some neutered males treat him at the socials. With a dog as large as Kenzo, well developed social skills with other dogs are crucial. I don’t want him to get to the point that he starts viewing arriving at socials warily, wondering who will be too rude next. I want him to remain viewing these gatherings as some of his most fun days. Avoiding having a reactive dog of this size is a worthy goal!

Kenzo is actually progressing very nicely but quite frankly, I fail to see how waiting for further physical development would be worthwhile. Kenzo is very large already. He is healthy, both mentally and physically and quite frankly, I am more concerned with the mentally healthy part than the physically though obviously both matter.

My goal as both a dog parent and a dog professional, is to minimize the chances that Kenzo will view other dogs as a threat. Right now, with his “equipment” intact, that is a very real worry as some neutered male dogs view HIM as a threat. As anyone schooled in dog behavior knows, this is normal though not desirable.

Most dogs today in the US are altered. I am on that boat completely. There are sadly too few dog parents who can responsibly house an intact animal. I am one who can but that doesn’t mean that I want to be “on call” 24/7. I want to raise a dog who views other dogs as potential friends. I have put a lot of effort into socializing Kenzo with other dogs. Keeping this even keeled is super important to me.

I could ramble on and on about the many reasons I am pro-neutering but it would get repetitive so I will let my already stated reasons speak for themselves. What I want to hear from others now is why they chose the altered path or why they didn’t and the downfalls or the happy endings of each decision. Be nice! We are all in this together!

Tags: altered, behavior, bully, dogs, force, humping, many, marking, multiple, neutering, physical development, reactive, skills, social, socialize, surgery, testosterone, training

Posted in: Projects

A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

Originally posted on September 23, 2012.

I have thought about how I should honor his life endlessly as this emotional anniversary approaches and I have decided that remembering some of my fondest moments with Merlin was the most appropriate way. I want to celebrate his life. He was a remarkable dog, He touched so many lives. I hope that I can honor him properly. So I chose to speak directly to him.

To Merlin from mom:

I was attracted to you the second I saw you, so small at about three months of age, but so sassy in that cage at the shelter. It was my first day walking dogs who weren’t on the adoption floor and I had just lost my Layla only a week prior to seeing you. You looked at me with such sly eyes, so knowing, so full of intelligence and humor. It only took one look and I knew you were to be mine. You knew it too. I was told that you had “sexy” eyes by another shelter volunteer, such an odd compliment for a dog but clearly true as well; something more than in most canine eyes at such a young age. Such potential.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

When we brought Kera home after you “chose” her just a month later, you were thrilled that I got you such a wonderful “toy” until you realized you had to share me! You made Kera “pay” for a couple of days, then you made her your partner in crime, deftly giving me a crash course in multiple dog ownership/training.

Having only had “easy” dogs up until you, you challenged my mind at every opportunity. You performed magic feats on doorknobs and crates, opening both without difficulty and with humor. You fully earned your magical moniker. You forced me to increase my training and behavior knowledge and I will always respect you for that.

You had both drive and persistence which made training you a challenge. You refused to be pushed around in the name of training and rightly fought back to any man-handling attempts. Your delight was evident when I learned a better way to teach you. We made strides faster than the speed of light and your responses made me beam with pride.

You became a dog trainer’s dream dog, able to go anywhere and be trusted with anyone. You helped shy and scared dogs learn to be brave. You showed reactive dogs that you were not a threat and that playing with another dog could be fun. You helped some dogs get certified to be canine good citizens; others, you showed your large repertoire of cues so they could watch and learn.

You were kind to everyone as long as they were kind to your family. You approached every situation as friendly until finding out otherwise. You LOVED puppies and helped raise Siri and her siblings until we sent all but Siri off to their forever homes. The memory of you laying on the floor letting puppies tug on you from various angles brings a huge smile to my face. You cared for the multitudes of foster puppies who spent time under our roof like they were your own. You grinned happily as they took new steps. And you sent them on their way to their forever homes with a smile.

You were welcoming to the many foster dogs that passed through our lives, on their way to their forever home. You helped them to feel comfortable and loved and happy. When corrections were needed, you issued them appropriately, showing kindness and restraint. Even as you eventually grew weary of one too many fosters, you handled it with dignity and grace and understood that we had a purpose higher than we may have preferred at times. You accepted our role and loved me despite minor inconveniences to your life. You understood that our little family was always number one and comforted by that fact.

You helped keep us safe in an urban neighborhood, sometimes fraught with strangeness. You always knew when to step in and when to let me handle things, perfectly assessing every situation. I didn’t teach you this, you were born with it.
You lived it. I respected your perfect instincts and understanding more than I can express.

You viewed life as an adventure, every new situation as something to look forward to. You trusted me to have your back and keep you safe.
Your sense of humor brought smiles to my day. You made every day fun and laughter. You reveled in the outdoors and made sure that every day had relaxation in it. Without your nudging, I would not have had as much play as I should have. You loved to go places, riding in the Xterra like a champ, “elbow” resting on the window ledge like a human male, grinning out the window with pleasure.

It was on one of our many outings that the first sign of trouble reared it’s ugly head. The day that we took our first trip to the vet, almost directly from am outing. On the way to find out what caused you such distress, I could not shake the feeling that my life had changed dramatically that day. I hoped I was being melodramatic but sadly, I was right. I would give anything to change what happened but I am grateful for the chance to have the extra time with you that no doctor said I would have. You handled all your vet visits with grace and dignity and even humor, making you a favorite at the specialists. They admired your good temperament and disposition, they loved your humor. They mourned with us when you were lost to us. Your loss created a void in the lives of many, the cards and condolences were plentiful, your memory a flame that will go on.

You took such good care of all of us, Kera, Siri, Trent and I, me being at the top of the list. I was your number one priority and truth be told, you were mine. I loved you best, feeling at one with your soul. You were more partner than the others. That always feels odd to say, fearing that some may not understand but I know that many will know what that means. It is a oneness with another creature that can only be described in that way, fully mutually understanding another without guessing, an ability to share thoughts and communicate without words. While that ability exists to an extent with my other beloved dogs, it has never reached such an understanding as with you. There is a piece missing now that can never be replaced. That’s okay now, as much as it can be, because I know that someday I will see you again. With that purpose in mind, wanting to live up to your ideal of me, making you proud, I move forward for you. I miss you with every ounce of my soul and I will celebrate your life as it deserves to be celebrated.

I have written and re-written the above in my mind a dozen times already. I wanted perfection for Merlin’s memorial but perfection is always out of reach; this is real life and there is no perfection. So I will “settle” for simply from the heart. Now an update on our emotional progress…

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since I had say goodbye (for now) to my precious Merlin. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him multiple times a day. I can go from okay to tears in an instant with the right trigger. But it IS easier now to try to move forward. It was and still is a struggle randomly and I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I suppress a lot of trigger reactions. I basically forced myself to move forward, for the sake of Kera (who joined Merlin on June 1st), Siri and Trent. After we lost Kera, we would have continued into an even deeper downward spiral, so deep was the loss in our lives, if things continued as is.

Those of you who follow this blog know that what changed the direction for the better was Kenzo. Daily, I am grateful for the gift of his addition to our lives. His presence forced us back into the game of life. No matter how much complaining I may do about never subjecting myself to puppyhood again, the laughter that he brings us is worth his eventual weight in gold. I will forever be in debt to my dear friend who made Kenzo’s life with us possible.

In many ways, Kenzo reminds me of Merlin. I like to think that this was by design, Merlin’s that is. Kenzo lies down to drink water a good bit of the time. Merlin did that for his entire life, preferring the path of least resistance in many areas. Merlin also liked to play in water all of his life, starting with the water bowl as a puppy, as Kenzo has and continuing to splashing in any available stream or other accessible body of water. The only area that they differ with regards to water is Kenzo’s dislike of rain. Merlin loved all things wet, rain included. Kenzo, not so much! Merlin’s fur was forever dancing about the floors in fuzzy balls. Kenzo has accepted the responsibility of continuing that tradition down to the exact color of the fur balls. Kenzo is vocal when cuddled as Merlin was.

But make no mistake, they are two different dogs. I know this. I accept this. I would not have accepted a breed that reminded me of Merlin because I am not ready for that yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope so as I love Dobermans with fierceness but I don’t want to make any comparisons so I wait. I miss my pokey nosed baby boy too much to risk more traumas. In the meantime, every black and tan (orange) butterfly that I see seems to be Merlin checking in with me. When my loss was brand new, I saw Merlin or thought I did, out of the corner of my eye, in various places he used to be. I do still see that but not often enough. I need the continued connection but I don’t think Merlin wants to me to dwell too much so I march forward and know that we will meet again. Until then, I love you more than words can say, my “little boy dog”.

Tags: behavior, celebrate life, dog, empathy, how, interaction, many, Merlin, multiple, partner, peace, puppy, respect, shelter, social, training, wonderful

Posted in: Projects