training

Posts Tagged training

Altered States: How Important is Intact Status to Social Skills?

A recent interaction on a social networking site clued me into the fact that not all dog geeks know about things they may not have personal experience with. I believe this subject to be important enough to repeat some information from past blogs. So while this particular blog isn’t specifically about multiple dog households, it is about multiple dog interactions and therefore applies to multiple dog households as well.

Those of you who have followed my blog have seen mention of this topic before; especially, if you have been tracking the saga of Kenzo’s neutering. Mixing intact males and neutered males is a social setting can be tricky when the goal is interactive play.

While there are no scientific studies to support this subject, I expect that many behavior professionals have come across this particular quirk in their careers. Many a client has commented to me that their own neutered male “doesn’t like intact males”. Science, while wonderful, isn’t studying every subject so it behooves is as behavior junkies, to learn from other sources as well, such as observation and repetition of occurrences.

Now those of you who have never had the opportunity or the right circumstances to see such an issue for yourself may wonder what this consists of. The manifestation can vary according to the dog. I have a former class student who’s neutered male screams and stands on his back feet when he gets the close by scent of an intact male. This happened once with a dog in class owned by a friend, who I knew had just been neutered so we assumed that the surgery was simply too fresh. I later learned that said dog had a cryptorchid testicle so the hormones had not fully been removed. The reacting dog had been right!

I have been witness and a hearsay recipient to such occurrences for the entire length of my dog behavior career so it surprised me that not every behavior savvy individual had been exposed to this. But when pondering how frequently the occurrence actually happens, it makes sense to me.

You see, not all neutered males are threatened emotionally by an intact male. My sweet Merlin had no issues at all with any dogs he interacted with unless they were rude to him. Even then, until he reached his senior years, his fuse was long. Intact or altered, it was all the same to him. We had literally dozens of males come through my house as foster dogs, mostly arriving needing snipped. Interactions were pleasant all around. But Merlin was a confident dog for his entire life, sure of his place in the world, even as a puppy.

However, Trent, my Pit Bull is a different story altogether. He is very insecure, despite being very loved and cared for and having a secure life. He is on anxiety meds and has come very far with his issues but will likely always be insecure of his place in the world. Yet until Kenzo started reaching sexual maturity, I never noticed that he was among the neutered males affected by intact males. He never reacted any differently when out and about or having intact foster dogs in the house. But Kenzo stayed and was raised here and grew bigger and bigger in front of his very eyes. It became very clear that Trent felt increasingly threatened by him, although nothing that Kenzo did was at fault.

I have already chronicled what transpired with Kenzo’s social group visits with increasing frequency as Kenzo matured more. So I won’t repeat myself. But what I will do now is describe it further. The moment we entered the room with the other dogs, a dog or two, who would turn out with questioning of the owner, to be a neutered male, would rush over and snark at Kenzo’s face, trying to nip at him both in his face and around his face. The owner and I would interrupt and send the dog elsewhere and he (or they) would come back targeting just Kenzo again. The owner(s) and I would have to be continually on top of this for the entire hour long social. It was exhausting. So I stopped attending until Kenzo was neutered.

Other clients have told similar tales from either an off leash walk in the park or a visit to the dog park. Intact dogs are typically not permitted at dog parks but many people don’t abide by rules and most dog parks are not supervised by an authority figure. Anyone can bring their dog, well behaved or not, intact or not, to most dog parks. There is an assumed risk there. So while there is almost always some sort of a disagreement between dogs at a dog park, most people don’t ask questions to determine why. In many cases, it is the intact/neutered male equation at play.

What does this all mean in the whole scheme of things in the dog world? Well, as previously mentioned in many blogs, I am very pro-altering for the majority of the American dog owning world. Disagreements about the health pros and cons of either point of view aside, the behavioral aspects of having an intact male in a world of neutered males is an important consideration. If you have no plans on having your dog be social with other dogs up close and personal ever, then you have no worries. If you are a behavior professional and qualified to deal with the potential aggression directed towards your intact male, then go for it.

But if you are just a loving dog owner who doesn’t want to have to become a behavior expert just so that your intact male dog can safely interact with your neighbor’s neutered male dog, then just make the appointment for neutering. Why punish the intact dogs by neutering them when the true issue lies with the insecure neutered male dog? Well, I don’t see neutering as a punishment. Unless you are a responsible breeder or showing your dog (in which case you probably do have the skills needed to handle this correctly!), then I just don’t see the need to keep a dog intact. I expect that statement to anger many people. I am sorry if it does but that won’t make me change my mind on the subject.

In conclusion, the stakes are just too high to take the chance of leaving your dog intact, in MOST cases. So feel free to offer your opinions, POLITELY phrased, in the spaces below, on both sides of the issue. I especially want to hear from those who have experienced their own dog aggressing at intact males. Play nicely in the sandbox people!

Tags: behavior, dog, dominance, household, insecure, interaction, many, multiple, neutering, social, threaten, training

Posted in: Projects

Angels Among Us: Remembering My Sweet Angel Kera

The approaching anniversary of one year since I lost Kera is not a happy anniversary but we will approach it as we did with Merlin’s anniversary loss; by remembering the love and laughter that Kera brought to our lives. So with that in mind, I will honor Kera here as I did with Merlin, by honoring her life. I hope I can do her spirit justice.

To my sweet angel puppy: I called you that name, one of many nicknames, for your entire life because you not only looked like an angel, with your pure white coat but you acted like an angel as well.

The day that I first saw you, with Merlin in tow, was arriving at the shelter to pick up an overnight guest as a possible playmate for my baby boy Merlin. You were coming out of the back door with a dog walker, who happened to be a friend and you and Merlin immediately connected. I was told that was the first sign of engagement you had shown since you arrived at the shelter from a hoarding situation at just about three months of age. Our overnighter failed so I asked about adopting you instead. I was heartbroken to be told that I was third in line. Your beauty had a waiting list! I prayed and prayed that I would be chosen and the prayers were answered by those before me on the list, failing to follow through. Merlin and I rejoiced!

We brought you home full of joy, though Merlin was a bit rude initially, after he realized he would have to share his mom. But he was clearly smitten by you first and foremost, as was I and he quickly became your partner in crime, trashing anything that fell into the path of tandem puppies at play!

I felt like I had found my yin and yang, with my black puppy and my white puppy. Out world was sweet and special.

You were initially not thrilled when we started fostering Dobermans, after Ladybug, our first foster girl, tried hanging her head over your back as a greeting gesture! But you made your position as princess clear, without bloodshed, maintaining your regal stature that you presented so appropriately.

Then came a handful of puppies to foster and you avoided them deftly while your partner in crime reveled in their attention, without slightly you in the affection department. But as days went, you seemed to choose a puppy to bestow your grace on and the decision to keep Siri became clear. She was the first and only puppy that you ever showed an interest in.

Fast forward when Trent came as an emergency foster pup, just thirteen months old, with a sad history that spanned seven of those months. You welcomed him with open paws and taught him how to play. It was a joy to watch you chase him and him you and the way that he admired you.

Then came Damon and you were so gentle with his needs. You never asked more than he could give.

You charmed the Therapy Dog testers into urging me to certify you. Charm came so easily to you, making even a grumpy dog hater smile at how beautiful you were with such a happy grin you wore so often. You wore your yellow therapy dog tag so proudly and brought smiles to the faces of mom’s nursing home staff at the time.

You had such sweet traits that made us laugh and smile. The joy you viewed meals with was contagious. Asking you if you wanted to eat would result in the cutest dance from you, with a huge grin on your face. You spent your days smiling and making my life so much better for seeing that smile.

You took such good care of Siri and Trent, trusting Merlin to take good care of you. You were tolerant with Trent’s grooming you and Siri watching nervously over you as you started aging too much for us to ignore.

You were patient with my distress when Merlin was ill and fighting cancer. My distress was so great, that I failed to notice your increasing signs of doggy dementia right away. You were even more patient with the medical tests to diagnose your kidney issues. The ultimate test of your patience and love was your tolerance with my lack of skills and sheer terror of administering subcutaneous fluids. It was only my knowledge of how much better they made you feel that helped me forge ahead and learn to feel comfortable to make you more comfortable.

I made mistakes during my attempts to keep you around as long as possible and I can only hope that they did not cause you too much distress. I tried to do all the right things. I finally had to face that it was perhaps time to allow you to rejoin Merlin.

It was one of the hardest days of my life. You made it easier by allowing me to find the single red rose (from Merlin?) and the single red carnation (from you?) in the oddest spot possible when walking Siri and Trent the day after saying goodbye to you on this earth. I still have them and I cherish them always. I love you Kera, my munchkinland, my pretty princess, my angel puppy, my pumpkin pie, my Miss-Kera-who’s-pretty, I will love you forever. Thank you for being such a part of my life and I look forward to the day that our paths cross again. Until then, I carry your memory in my heart and celebrate your life with us.

Tags: angel, dementia, distress, dogs, honor, household, kidney, life, many, medical, multiple, playmate, shelter, Siri, spirit, training, white

Posted in: Projects

The Final Countdown: Kenzo’s Neutering is Scheduled

It has been a long and challenging wait for this upcoming moment. The big day cannot come soon enough for me. I am guessing Trent will also be relieved when Kenzo comes home that day sans testosterone creating equipment. I know the few neutered males who view him warily at his bi-weekly social will be happier. As will the friendly male Golden who Kenzo normally plays well with, that he unexpectedly and obsessively tried to hump at the last social I took him too.

The last time I broached this subject on here, the tone of the comments was much more pleasant than the tone on my Facebook page when I asked for input on the pros and cons. But because this subject is such a hot button with many, I expect that now that I have the surgery scheduled, this may heat things up a bit again. I only ask that all those who comment remain polite. Censorship is alive and well here for those who choose not to censor themselves from rudeness!

Trent can’t wait for Kenzo to be neutered.

Make no mistake, the surgery itself is not up for discussion; it is happening no matter how much some may disagree with it. For others, it is late in coming, I am sure. Kenzo will be one year and two days of age when he goes under the knife, so to speak. I have waited longer than I ever would have with a smaller dog. He is about 7/8th of full size, I am guessing, at a weight of approximately one hundred and twenty pounds. He has another month to develop further though that is only by the grace of surgery scheduling for his size, not my own timeline choosing.

This road has been challenging, with an increasing interest in indoor marking on Siri’s favorite spots, Trent’s bed and anything in his path on the way to the door to the yard in the morning. He wore a belly band for a couple of weeks so that I could allow him to walk out of site without worrying about having to launder everything in my house. He got the message quickly, thankfully so that is no longer an issue. He did, however, feel the need to mark the water bowl at the dog social after drinking from it at the last attendance, the same day that included the humping issue. Clearly, that was a trying day.

His interactions with Trent have improved thanks to constant vigilance on my part and Trent now feels comfortable initiating play. They play together most days, now that I am placing a premium on setting aside playtime as often as possible in their playroom. Even without pre-arranged playtime, they often interact playfully in the living room during family time or while I am working on the computer. The decrease in the friction makes me happier than I can possibly express. But it’s still there and it’s still the testosterone that triggers it.

The progress may have you wondering why I am not waiting longer. Well, Kenzo still thinks he has big boy pants on far too much for my tastes, though that has admittedly decreased. Trent is still more nervous than I want him to feel in his own home. But the biggest concern is how some neutered males treat him at the socials. With a dog as large as Kenzo, well developed social skills with other dogs are crucial. I don’t want him to get to the point that he starts viewing arriving at socials warily, wondering who will be too rude next. I want him to remain viewing these gatherings as some of his most fun days. Avoiding having a reactive dog of this size is a worthy goal!

Kenzo is actually progressing very nicely but quite frankly, I fail to see how waiting for further physical development would be worthwhile. Kenzo is very large already. He is healthy, both mentally and physically and quite frankly, I am more concerned with the mentally healthy part than the physically though obviously both matter.

My goal as both a dog parent and a dog professional, is to minimize the chances that Kenzo will view other dogs as a threat. Right now, with his “equipment” intact, that is a very real worry as some neutered male dogs view HIM as a threat. As anyone schooled in dog behavior knows, this is normal though not desirable.

Most dogs today in the US are altered. I am on that boat completely. There are sadly too few dog parents who can responsibly house an intact animal. I am one who can but that doesn’t mean that I want to be “on call” 24/7. I want to raise a dog who views other dogs as potential friends. I have put a lot of effort into socializing Kenzo with other dogs. Keeping this even keeled is super important to me.

I could ramble on and on about the many reasons I am pro-neutering but it would get repetitive so I will let my already stated reasons speak for themselves. What I want to hear from others now is why they chose the altered path or why they didn’t and the downfalls or the happy endings of each decision. Be nice! We are all in this together!

Tags: altered, behavior, bully, dogs, force, humping, many, marking, multiple, neutering, physical development, reactive, skills, social, socialize, surgery, testosterone, training

Posted in: Projects

Holiday Manners: Teaching a Wordless ‘Leave It’ to a Multiple Dog Crew

Originally posted December 8, 2011

‘Tis the season for food in abundance and celebration en masse. Platters are laden; counters and tables hold feasts not seen on a daily basis. Temptations are great for humans and “beasts” alike. It’s hard enough for humans to not partake in excess. Yet many people expect their dogs to ignore such culinary delights completely without giving a thought to training them for such a feat in advance.

Do you banish your crew from family gatherings that include easy access to tasty treats for fear of extreme counter surfing activities? Or do you include them, but live in fear of a guest dropping a morsel of food that isn’t dog friendly and having to move faster than you ever wanted to? Fear no more; train instead!

Teaching your dogs to leave things alone that you have not personally provided to your them is a behavior that should be a priority from day one, but it’s never too late to start. But train in advance of the need so that you and your pups are not frustrated. Until your crew’s training is perfected, practice good environmental management. This includes not leaving enticing things within reach on counters, tables, floors, etc.

Never reward your dogs in any way for jumping up on the same raised surfaces, such as with petting, verbal engagement, etc. If you drop something onto the floor that you want to give to your dogs, pick it up and hand deliver it to them rather than pointing it out to a dog or two to get. This is a good idea all around when you have multiple dogs anyway as a lone high value morsel on the floor is a recipe for a brawl in some households!

Teaching a wordless (auto) leave it takes time. How much time will vary with each dog. Some dogs have better natural impulse control than others and some dogs simply pick this up faster than others. It is imperative that you teach this behavior one-on-one with each dog prior to trying it in a group, especially if you have any guarding issues with any of your crew members!

Wordless leave it? Yes, indeed, wordless. Do you really want to have to endlessly tell your dogs to leave things alone, especially at this time of year, when the temptations are many? Wouldn’t it be so much more convenient to have them simply do it without being asked? Indeed it would. How you achieve this is in carefully trained steps. Here they are:

• Take a really high value treat in one hand and show it to your dog. Have more of the same treats in your other hand ready to offer as a reward. Put that hand behind your back.
• If your dog licks and paws at your offered hand to try and get the treat, don’t say anything. Simply wait for him to stop, however briefly that may be. It may take a bit and you may have to wear thin gloves to prevent your hand from getting scratched if your dog is super intent on getting the treat RIGHT NOW! Do not say anything to try to get your dog to stop, just be patient. The second your dog stops trying to get the treat or looks or backs away from the treat, even for a second, say “yes!” and offer a treat from your hidden hand. Be sure to be very enthusiastic in rewarding your dog verbally for a job well done. The timing of the marker word is important. That comes first, at the very moment that your dog makes that good decision. The treat comes after the verbal marker.
• Switch hands each time you repeat this procedure until your dogs starts looking at the hidden hand when you offer your hand. When this happens, you need to start “catching” your dog in the middle, when their attention briefly stops on you.
• Next you can place the treat inside your closed hand on a surface that is reachable by the dog. I usually start higher and then progress to a lower surface. Repeat the already described protocol, rewarding appropriately. The surface placement will make this procedure harder at first, regardless of how well your dog just did on the previous step. When your dog totally gets this step, it’s time to move on. You will likely have to practice this multiple times, in very short increments, on varying surfaces. Always take care that the reward is of equal or greater value than what you expect your dog to ignore.
• For the next step, you will place a treat inside of your closed hand on the floor. This placement is the hardest of all so be ready to move fast.You may be able to progress in one session to partially uncovering said treat while on the floor, to allow your dog to make conscious choices, being very careful that you can cover it before your dog can grasp it if he moves to take it. Remember, you will not be verbally correcting your dog at all. Your role is to mark and reward the behavior you want and only that. This needs done in very short increments to prevent frustration.
• Next you will uncover the treat even more, again taking care to be faster than your dog should you need to be. It is of vital importance that you move at the speed that your dog needs, in order to make this a solid behavior. This is not a competition. Your goal is to train this into a solidly understood behavior.
• Every success with several repetitions within an individual training session is a cue to move forward to the next step but do so only briefly. End each session on a positive successful note.
• It is important to practice this behavior in any room that it would be applicable in as well as outdoors if appropriate. It is also important to use such things that your dog might consider stealing, such as a sandwich, a piece of bread, even paper products such as paper towels, etc.
• Your goal is to progress to a point where you can toss something on the floor and have it ignored, though I would suggest that when you begin to practice with this step, you leash your dog. You will also play hockey goalie with this type of practice by placing your body between the treat and the dog, as needed. Never use the leash to separate the two, just the body language. You can also progress to simply moving your foot in front of the item or making a show of reaching for it. This will turn into a situational cue. Your guests would not know what to say to keep your dog from going after something that they dropped on the floor but they will automatically reach for it, cueing the dog that it is not theirs. You will, of course, again mark and reward your dog for the exact moment that he chooses to not go after the treat. (a hint for this particular step: use a higher value reward in your hand than the one that you are tossing)

The holidays should be a fun time for all. Training your crew to ignore yummy feasts by teaching them that they get paid well for good decisions is a win/win situation for all. Wishing you and yours a happy and safe holiday season, regardless of what holiday you personally celebrate, from me and mine.

Tags: behavior, christmas, control, dogs, floor, food, frustrated, Holiday, household, impulse control, leave it, many, multiple, reward, success, training, treats

Posted in: Projects

An Intervention is in Order: Canine Bullies in a Multiple Dog Household

It used to be called being dominant, and in some circles it still is, sadly. But this behavior is actually simple bullying. As with humans, bullying is always inappropriate. It can arise for several reasons, among them insecurity, anxiety, juvenile behavior in young adults and puppies and just plain old bad manners.

Being a bully has nothing to do with the breed of the dog who is the bully. Any breed can be a bully. Puppies who are very exuberant and having difficulty learning impulse control are prime targets to become a bully when allowed unchecked in a multiple dog household. Possessing a good temperament otherwise will not prevent a puppy from becoming a bully. One can be a canine bully and be a nice dog otherwise, which is where this act typically differs with human bullies.

Those who have children and who are raising them with limits and guidelines that are parentally enforced will understand this advice immediately. Dogs are not furry children (see here for more on that) but they are equally in need of structure and knowing what is appropriate or not. It is very important to set limits and provide said structure.

We as humans are not meant to be “pack leaders”; dogs know that we are a different species; I can assure you of this! What we are meant to be, however, is the human who provides for all their needs. This includes the need for clearly communicated boundaries, guidelines, information and reward incentives as well as non-scary consequences for infractions of said rules.

Boundaries should include, but are not limited to, preventing/intervening with these inappropriate activities:
• “nagging” any other dog for any reason.
• sniffing body parts of another dog for lengthy periods of time (especially when the receiver is obviously uncomfortable)
• insistence on play when the other party is not interested
• ”pacing” another dog (physically matching their walking pace outside of the realm of interactive play)
• “walk bys” of another dog (seemingly benign walking by another dog with the intent of intimidation)
• body slamming another dog in greeting
• being “in your face” intrusive without an invitation to do so
• any posturing meant to intimidate.

The list is longer than the above but it’s nearly impossible to include every scenario. Multiple dog households parents really owe it to themselves and their charges to educate themselves on dog body language and appropriate play. There are several ways to do this. There are a few well done books available that have great information on body language as well as the go-to DVD on this subject by Sarah Kalnajs. The newest option for this is Lili Chin’s fabulous “Doggie Body Language“. Another option is to attend organized playgroups that are supervised by behavior professionals familiar with both positive reinforcement training and dog body language. Watching the interaction through their eyes can help with viewing your own crew more clearly. You get to see what needs interrupted and what doesn’t.

Positive never means permissive when inappropriate behavior is being demonstrated. It is completely possible to intervene appropriately without causing fear or using force. Human to dog body language is useful to learn for this practice. When your crew respects your ability to set boundaries in a clear and concise manner without using an iron fist, they feel safe and secure responding to your cues to cease and desist.

Often the simple act of clearing one’s throat and throwing a pointed look at the offender will be enough to interrupt poor choices in an otherwise well structured household. Quietly placing your body between the two or more dogs involved can cause an immediate deflection. This is called splitting and dogs use it too. Using what I call “the mom stance”, hands on hips with a disappointed look on your face, can stop an incident if implemented soon enough. Well marked and timed Time Outs are worth the effort to learn to implement correctly. Read here for more on that.

Those who follow my blog, know that I have a puppy in my household at present (at the time of this original writing). Puppies are rude until taught otherwise. Sometimes I intervene, sometimes another dog intervenes appropriately for me. This can be permitted if you know what is appropriate in a canine correction and what isn’t. For example Kenzo, the puppy, stole Trent’s bone and Trent did not stop him. So I retrieved it for him. It took three retrievals and a “mom” look to eliminate this behavior on this particular day. A fourth attempt on Kenzo’s part would have resulted in a time out. I give three tries on benign behavior.

But later the same evening, Kenzo tried on his big boy pants and made a posturing move towards Trent. I did not have time to intervene nor did Trent have time to object because Siri intervened for both of us, immediately and quite correctly. She split between them with her body immediately and roared a bit at Kenzo, quite appropriately, without hurting him. She did, however, make enough of an impression (based on the size of his eyes!) that I am certain that he won’t try that again soon. So while you cannot simply allow the dogs to work it out among themselves, you can periodically rely on dogs who have appropriate mediation skills.

So it is possible to have a multiple dog household with several strong personalities, without having strong conflict, if you learn how to intervene when appropriate. One of the easiest ways to help non-professionals understand how early on it can be necessary to step in is to equate what is happening to toddlers doing an equivalent behavior. If your two year old was shoving your three year old or vice versa, are you going to wait for them to ‘work it out on their own”? I certainly hope not! Don’t allow those kinds of decisions to be made in your canine household either and all will flow much more smoothly!

Tags: adolescent, bad, behavior, body, bully, canine, correction, dog, dominance, fear, force, leader, multiple, nagging, pack, permissive, positive, puppy, slamming, training

Posted in: Projects

Command Performance: Do Words Have Consequences?

I think “yes” would be the accurate answer to this question. Words like “command” and “obedience” reek of control. They are included in the “hammer” style tools of dog training. I much prefer the use of “cue” and “manners”. Like the saying goes, “When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” While this statement is typically applied to actual training tools, this equally applies to the words used in training as well.

Many people assume that words, once spoken, disappear. While that can be true but what can also happen is this; quite often, the words that are used can convey a specific feeling to the person who spoke the words. Words such as command and obedience are forceful. They imply those who they are directed to are inferior and in need of domination. This could not be further from the truth in relation to the dogs in our lives.

Photo of Dawn Goehring of Comedy Barn Canines. Photo Courtesy of Christine Romano, Rich Blessings Photography

Photo of Dawn Goehring of Comedy Barn Canines. www.comedycanines.com. Photo Courtesy of Christine Romano, Rich Blessings Photography

While our dogs certainly require structure and boundaries, they don’t need such words to provide said structure. What they need is kindness, empathy, understanding, and clear communication. They are not looking to take over our world. We have the opposable thumbs, after all.

“Breaking” is another word that is better off dispensed with in regards to housetraining. While the word is appropriately descriptive of the goal that is in mind – as in “breaking the habit” – it does speak to the notion that force can somehow resolve the problem.

According to Raymond Coppinger, dogs chose to join us; domesticating themselves by stationing themselves near human camps. The ensuing partnership was mutual. We provide for their needs. They know this. There is no need to lord it over them with force. They revere us already. They respect us when we work with them rather than on them.

Dogs are the most forgiving creatures I know of. We treat them badly and still they adore us. Using kind words goes a long way towards promoting partnership and trust far more than words that convey the need to wield control with an iron fist. Every step taken towards dismissing such a partnership makes an additional step easier. It becomes a slippery slope.

Forceful words can cause even bigger problems in the multiple dog household. As with a multiple human household, personalities will differ among the crew. A dog that is pushier than another dog can feel emboldened by harsh words spoken at such from the humans in the household. Harshness can create bullies out of humans as well as canines. It is up to the humans to set good examples to be followed. Think of it in terms of children who are emotionally abused by their parents. While they may grow up stronger because of what they endured, there is an equal if not greater chance that they will learn how to be angry more easily than how to be kind.

Compassion and respect should not be reserved solely for one’s fellow humans. All sentient beings are deserving of this. Choosing words that you would use with humans whom you love, with the canines in your lives, will go far towards building the trust that creates a wonderful bond. Words DO matter. Choose them with care.

Tags: bullies, canine, command, compassion, cue, dogs, emotional, empathy, force, harsh, household, how, kindness, manners, many, multiple, obedience, respect, training, word

Posted in: Projects

A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

Originally posted on September 23, 2012.

I have thought about how I should honor his life endlessly as this emotional anniversary approaches and I have decided that remembering some of my fondest moments with Merlin was the most appropriate way. I want to celebrate his life. He was a remarkable dog, He touched so many lives. I hope that I can honor him properly. So I chose to speak directly to him.

To Merlin from mom:

I was attracted to you the second I saw you, so small at about three months of age, but so sassy in that cage at the shelter. It was my first day walking dogs who weren’t on the adoption floor and I had just lost my Layla only a week prior to seeing you. You looked at me with such sly eyes, so knowing, so full of intelligence and humor. It only took one look and I knew you were to be mine. You knew it too. I was told that you had “sexy” eyes by another shelter volunteer, such an odd compliment for a dog but clearly true as well; something more than in most canine eyes at such a young age. Such potential.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

When we brought Kera home after you “chose” her just a month later, you were thrilled that I got you such a wonderful “toy” until you realized you had to share me! You made Kera “pay” for a couple of days, then you made her your partner in crime, deftly giving me a crash course in multiple dog ownership/training.

Having only had “easy” dogs up until you, you challenged my mind at every opportunity. You performed magic feats on doorknobs and crates, opening both without difficulty and with humor. You fully earned your magical moniker. You forced me to increase my training and behavior knowledge and I will always respect you for that.

You had both drive and persistence which made training you a challenge. You refused to be pushed around in the name of training and rightly fought back to any man-handling attempts. Your delight was evident when I learned a better way to teach you. We made strides faster than the speed of light and your responses made me beam with pride.

You became a dog trainer’s dream dog, able to go anywhere and be trusted with anyone. You helped shy and scared dogs learn to be brave. You showed reactive dogs that you were not a threat and that playing with another dog could be fun. You helped some dogs get certified to be canine good citizens; others, you showed your large repertoire of cues so they could watch and learn.

You were kind to everyone as long as they were kind to your family. You approached every situation as friendly until finding out otherwise. You LOVED puppies and helped raise Siri and her siblings until we sent all but Siri off to their forever homes. The memory of you laying on the floor letting puppies tug on you from various angles brings a huge smile to my face. You cared for the multitudes of foster puppies who spent time under our roof like they were your own. You grinned happily as they took new steps. And you sent them on their way to their forever homes with a smile.

You were welcoming to the many foster dogs that passed through our lives, on their way to their forever home. You helped them to feel comfortable and loved and happy. When corrections were needed, you issued them appropriately, showing kindness and restraint. Even as you eventually grew weary of one too many fosters, you handled it with dignity and grace and understood that we had a purpose higher than we may have preferred at times. You accepted our role and loved me despite minor inconveniences to your life. You understood that our little family was always number one and comforted by that fact.

You helped keep us safe in an urban neighborhood, sometimes fraught with strangeness. You always knew when to step in and when to let me handle things, perfectly assessing every situation. I didn’t teach you this, you were born with it.
You lived it. I respected your perfect instincts and understanding more than I can express.

You viewed life as an adventure, every new situation as something to look forward to. You trusted me to have your back and keep you safe.
Your sense of humor brought smiles to my day. You made every day fun and laughter. You reveled in the outdoors and made sure that every day had relaxation in it. Without your nudging, I would not have had as much play as I should have. You loved to go places, riding in the Xterra like a champ, “elbow” resting on the window ledge like a human male, grinning out the window with pleasure.

It was on one of our many outings that the first sign of trouble reared it’s ugly head. The day that we took our first trip to the vet, almost directly from am outing. On the way to find out what caused you such distress, I could not shake the feeling that my life had changed dramatically that day. I hoped I was being melodramatic but sadly, I was right. I would give anything to change what happened but I am grateful for the chance to have the extra time with you that no doctor said I would have. You handled all your vet visits with grace and dignity and even humor, making you a favorite at the specialists. They admired your good temperament and disposition, they loved your humor. They mourned with us when you were lost to us. Your loss created a void in the lives of many, the cards and condolences were plentiful, your memory a flame that will go on.

You took such good care of all of us, Kera, Siri, Trent and I, me being at the top of the list. I was your number one priority and truth be told, you were mine. I loved you best, feeling at one with your soul. You were more partner than the others. That always feels odd to say, fearing that some may not understand but I know that many will know what that means. It is a oneness with another creature that can only be described in that way, fully mutually understanding another without guessing, an ability to share thoughts and communicate without words. While that ability exists to an extent with my other beloved dogs, it has never reached such an understanding as with you. There is a piece missing now that can never be replaced. That’s okay now, as much as it can be, because I know that someday I will see you again. With that purpose in mind, wanting to live up to your ideal of me, making you proud, I move forward for you. I miss you with every ounce of my soul and I will celebrate your life as it deserves to be celebrated.

I have written and re-written the above in my mind a dozen times already. I wanted perfection for Merlin’s memorial but perfection is always out of reach; this is real life and there is no perfection. So I will “settle” for simply from the heart. Now an update on our emotional progress…

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since I had say goodbye (for now) to my precious Merlin. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him multiple times a day. I can go from okay to tears in an instant with the right trigger. But it IS easier now to try to move forward. It was and still is a struggle randomly and I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I suppress a lot of trigger reactions. I basically forced myself to move forward, for the sake of Kera (who joined Merlin on June 1st), Siri and Trent. After we lost Kera, we would have continued into an even deeper downward spiral, so deep was the loss in our lives, if things continued as is.

Those of you who follow this blog know that what changed the direction for the better was Kenzo. Daily, I am grateful for the gift of his addition to our lives. His presence forced us back into the game of life. No matter how much complaining I may do about never subjecting myself to puppyhood again, the laughter that he brings us is worth his eventual weight in gold. I will forever be in debt to my dear friend who made Kenzo’s life with us possible.

In many ways, Kenzo reminds me of Merlin. I like to think that this was by design, Merlin’s that is. Kenzo lies down to drink water a good bit of the time. Merlin did that for his entire life, preferring the path of least resistance in many areas. Merlin also liked to play in water all of his life, starting with the water bowl as a puppy, as Kenzo has and continuing to splashing in any available stream or other accessible body of water. The only area that they differ with regards to water is Kenzo’s dislike of rain. Merlin loved all things wet, rain included. Kenzo, not so much! Merlin’s fur was forever dancing about the floors in fuzzy balls. Kenzo has accepted the responsibility of continuing that tradition down to the exact color of the fur balls. Kenzo is vocal when cuddled as Merlin was.

But make no mistake, they are two different dogs. I know this. I accept this. I would not have accepted a breed that reminded me of Merlin because I am not ready for that yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope so as I love Dobermans with fierceness but I don’t want to make any comparisons so I wait. I miss my pokey nosed baby boy too much to risk more traumas. In the meantime, every black and tan (orange) butterfly that I see seems to be Merlin checking in with me. When my loss was brand new, I saw Merlin or thought I did, out of the corner of my eye, in various places he used to be. I do still see that but not often enough. I need the continued connection but I don’t think Merlin wants to me to dwell too much so I march forward and know that we will meet again. Until then, I love you more than words can say, my “little boy dog”.

Tags: behavior, celebrate life, dog, empathy, how, interaction, many, Merlin, multiple, partner, peace, puppy, respect, shelter, social, training, wonderful

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Too Many Dogs? How Many IS Too Many?

The answer to that question lies in the eye of the beholder, so to speak. Two is too many for some households, ten is too few for others. My own personal best number feels happiest at four. I cannot tell you why I feel that way. That is just when solid peace and contentment fully seem to set in. (at this time of editing, I only have two but one is 160# so he counts for more!) But truthfully, that is only because I am the sole human in residence at the moment. There is only so much one person can do, in my opinion. There would be more if I had more help!

I used to think I was the oddball when having four dogs raised so many eyebrows. Having run a rescue for thirteen odd years, four was the fewest residence most of the time. I once had nine here, five of them being puppies. That was a hectic time! I have had eight adult dogs at once, with four being either boarders or temporary fosters on their way somewhere else. Again, hectic!

Not too many dogs for this home. Photo courtesy of Katharine Weber.

Not being a fan of hectic, I have since learned to pace myself. Someday, when I have more room, both inside and outside and possibly another human to assist, I want more dogs as the status quo, but until that day comes, I will stick with a maximum of four permanent canine residents.

The reasons for this will shortly become clear. I have a check-list of minimum requirements for a multiple dog household. My own personal check list includes the basics, of course, such as appropriate affectionate attention to all, exercise (both physical and mental) sufficient to maintain canine (and human!) sanity, extra curricular dog activities when appropriate and cash flow sufficient to properly feed and vet all. Vetting, for me, also includes a monthly pet insurance payment, which actually makes the actual sickness and illness vetting process much easier. Peace of mind does have a price after all!

Your mileage may vary. But my own preferences aside, providing for physical and mental needs is important. Remember, your crew must trust that you can take care of their baseline needs in order to FULLY trust you, so this forms the basis of that trust. Do not take that need lightly.

Space is important as far as how many dogs you actually have room for in your home. Indoor space is important, but breed types can determine how important your indoor and outdoor space is. For example, if you have multiple Great Danes, although large, in general, they are not in need of a lot of exercise and running room so a large yard is not necessary. They are also known for liking to lounge around the house so again, as long as you have the space to accommodate such lounging, your house need not be large.

On the other side of the equation, having multiple true to type herding breeds such as Border Collies, will make you wish that you not only have a large fenced yard but a few sheep to herd as well! Know your breed preference requirements when deciding on a happy number for your household!

Multiples mean more work such as laundry, vacuuming, poop scooping, training, walking but also more fun, more laughs, more kisses and love. You have to decide what your own limit it.

One other caveat that is of vital importance: everyone should get along. No one should have to live with permanent barriers between dogs who get along so badly that that there are safety concerns. Mistakes WILL happen. Eventually. So if there’s no fixing the problem, consider re-homing the most recently added crew member who is part of the problem.

Now that I have covered all the high points of how many is appropriate, take the time to tell me in the spaces below, what your crew consists of and why if there is a why? Join me in celebrating a household of multiples!

Tags: can, collies, danes, dogs, exercise, four, have, hectic, how, i, many, maximum, needs, nine, outside, poop, rescue, space, training

Posted in: Projects