impulse

Executive Decisions: Why Do You Have to Parent Your Crew?

Frequently, I walk into multiple dog households that are running amok, for lack of a better term. Some just a little, some far more than a little. In many cases, my presence would have been mostly unnecessary if someone had stepped in as the decision maker right off the bat. Simply put, stepping in as needed assures the safety of all your dogs.

Many of you, who are also human parents, understand the need for creating and enforcing boundaries. Fairness and polite behavior towards siblings is important for human harmony in a family. The same thing applies to the canine members as well.

This is not an advisory to micromanage your dogs’ interactions. A comment to this effect on the How Many Dogs Facebook page brought up this important point. Intervening is a judgment call in some cases. For what can be considered small things, no intervention is necessary if your dogs generally get along well. An example of this is a dog objecting to being stepped on by another dog, by grumbling or barking but nothing further. As long as the clumsy one is not inclined to redirect, that is a perfectly normal interaction between family members.

Humans object to being jostled too, usually by reminding the jostler to be more careful. Dogs get this same privilege provided they can be reasonably polite about it. The key point here is to know your crew. If there are issues, you need to intervene far more often in order to prevent bigger problems.

Do not let your dogs work it out on their own! Not most of the time anyway. Really, the implications of such a scenario boggle the minds of behavior experts. It’s a recipe for disaster, just as allowing one’s human children to make inappropriate decisions regarding their interactions with their siblings. Oh sure, if you “raise them right”, some decisions will be appropriate. But so many more won’t be without initial supervision, intervention and consistency.

Consistency is the key word here. Set an example, make it happen all the time with few deviations, and you have a guideline for success. It doesn’t mean that you need to run your household like a boot camp. Nor does it mean that force needs used to ensure compliance. The best human parents don’t scream, shout and/or hit to handle their children’s infractions. They use conversations that include wise words and non scary but effective consequences for poor choices. But intervene they do, and because of that, the entire family feels a sense of security that all members are properly cared for emotionally and physically.

Will you always have to intervene? That depends on your particular crew and their relationships, but the goal is that you have to intervene as little as possible eventually – aside from preventing furniture from flying due to playtime bursts in the wrong rooms!

Security is one of the most important issues to any life form. Feeling secure allows everyone to relax. Safety from emotional and physical assaults ensures security. Give your crew security early on and you create the right formula to prevent problems later on. Combine safety and security with teaching manners and impulse control and you will put a lot of behavior consultants out of business!

Feel free to use the spaces below to describe how you create safety within your crew.

On Demand: Offering Manners vs. a Militant Nothing-in-Life-is-Free Program (NILIF)

I recently had a misguided person try to post a comment to one of my blogs that was not actually about the blog’s subject so I chose not to approve it. But aside from not responding to the subject matter at hand, the comment was urging some old fashioned training advice. In the commenter’s words, she was urging a “militant Nothing in Life is Free” approach, in order to keep peace among multiple males.

Jennifer Bird of Furkid Rescue enjoys a partnership with her crew. Photo by Caleb Green.

For those of you who are not familiar with this “program”, it used to be used by lots of dog trainers, positive and balanced alike. It involves commanding dogs to provide some behavior before receiving any kind of resource, be it dinner or affection. The initial goal was to convey the human’s higher status. These days, when the program is suggested by most modern trainers, it is used much differently than in the past.

Why? Because we now know more about dogs and hierarchy and dog behavior in general, especially how they learn best. Commanding has evolved into cueing and among the best trainers and dog parents, much behavior is taught to be offered rather than demanded. Teaching dogs to make better choices and offer the appropriate behavior in many situations not only makes for less work on the owner’s part, it makes for a more polite dog overall.

Rather than demand a sit for dinner, dogs learn to offer it as a matter of routine. The same applies to other high value resources such as passing through doorways, when receiving treats and chew bones, etc. Raised surfaces are another area where manners may need apply but unless a dog is guarding surfaces on a regular basis, my dogs need not ask permission before climbing onto the couch. Militant NILIF users believe differently. The same applies to affection. Now that is not something I am going to expect a sit or something else in order to offer. I share my life dogs because I love dogs and I want to show affection to them and have them do the same without some self entitled gratuitous offering of them bowing down in some way to have that happen.

Of course if a dog is overwhelming in the way that they offer affection to their humans, impulse control gets trained in every situation, including this. But there is no demanding going on. It’s all about teaching a dog to self moderate his or her behavior in order to get what he or she wants.

This person was very focused on an extremely structured approach that bordered on military style, including the wording used. Dogs are social creatures. They thrive in a family atmosphere. Teach them what the boundaries are in a benevolent manner and most will gladly aim to please when rewarded for doing so. Sentient behavior 101. There is no need to run your canine crew like a bunch of military recruits. That is not how you build trust; that is actually a good way to erode it!

Make no mistake, I expect manners in my home and that is what I teach my clients to expect, as well, from their own crews. But as previously noted, there is no need to demand anything. Reward what you want and you get more of it. This is not the place to explain in depth how capturing, shaping and other positive reinforcement methods are done properly. There are other excellent sources for such information. My goal here is to dispel the myth that one needs to be worried about petting one’s dog without demanding said dog perform feats first.

I have fostered many dogs and the first thing I teach them is impulse control. This is taught with a combination of capturing and management. I don’t issue orders. As another trainer recently stated in a well written article about commands versus cues, my dogs don’t have to sit, they get to sit. They LOVE to sit and I rarely have to ask and when I do, it’s with body language and hand signals, not demands. Benevolence is your word for the day, dear readers. Lead by example, not with an iron fist.

For more on this subject, I suggest Kathy Sdao’s wonderful book, Plenty in Life is Free.

Tags: affection, behavior, canine, command, cue, dog, dominance, force, higher status, household, impulse, learn, many, militant, multiple, NILIF, non-force, peace, puppy, rescue, training

Posted in: Projects