play « How Many Dogs?! Creating Harmony in a Multi Dog Household

Posts Tagged play

The Search is On? Adding to the Crew

I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I only have two dogs. This is not a scenario that has existed in my life for almost twenty years. The grief is still very fresh. It’s also compounded by what I view as the end of a huge part of my life with the three dogs that taught me so much more than I could ever begin to pay them for. The lessons were abundant and endless and life changing. I feel lost in a world that changed far too fast for my tastes. When I lost Merlin and then Kera just nine short months later, this house was in a sad state of depression. Siri, Trent and I had lost our zest for life. There was little laughter and fun. There was no inclination to smile. Adding Kenzo to our life was a survival necessity. We needed laughter and smiles to move forward.

A similar scenario is unfolding in my life just three short years later. Every day brings multiple reminders of my new two dog life: counting out only two vitamins to add to the daily rations, grabbing two leashes off the hook rather than three, only two bowls in the dishwasher now, I could go on and on. The biggest hole is perhaps the ability to finally sleep in my own bed after three months of couch dwelling, now that Kenzo has received the go ahead to climb steps again. But that first sleep in my sorely missed bed was bittersweet without Siri, who had shared my bed for thirteen years, all 95 pounds of her. I am still getting used to the difference.

Kenzo and Trent wonder who will be joining them.

So many tugs at my heart throughout every single day. I know this my cue to think about adding to my family again. Trent and Kenzo are reluctant to play now. They actually have been this way since Siri started declining about six months ago. She wasn’t able to participate so they just stopped trying. Kenzo wants to but Trent has always had Siri on his side, keeping Kenzo in check should he need it. Please don’t misunderstand me. That is certainly my job as well, as the parent here but for play purposes, Siri made sure that Trent felt safe. Kenzo never did anything inappropriate. It is his sheer size that worries Trent so he almost always waited until Siri got him into a comfortable play mode and then Trent joined in. Without her to set the tone, he isn’t accepting Kenzo’s play invitations. Not that Kenzo can actively play right now anyway. He has another five weeks to go before that is on the menu. But Kenzo has always been very good at handicapping his play for other dogs. He lays down and lets them basically play on him but Trent isn’t terribly good at that without a partner to guide him.

So we need a new playmate in this house. When Kenzo gets cleared for more active play, my search for the right female will become official. Right now, it is just casual, with an eye towards what we need. I have mixed feelings about this. I don’t want to put my memories too far behind me. But I don’t want to dwell all the time either. I want to hear laughter and play sounds in my house again. I want my dogs to roll around happily in my yard and share toys and feel comfortable and bonded again. I want my family as whole as I can make them again ASAP. Short enough order, right?

In order to avoid having all sorts of available dog listings sent to me, let me clarify what my goal is. I am looking to add a Doberman to my life again. Female only, probably under five years of age, color, ears, tails don’t matter though I won’t deny a special fondness for those who are black/tan or fawn/tan though. A mix is a possibility. Even other breeds such as Rottweilers or German Shepherd Dogs are a possibility. I will know when the right dog shows up in my consciousness.

Of course, our new girl MUST be wonderful with other dogs. All else I am willing to work on but I refuse to compromise on dog sociability in my own home, especially at this time in our lives. Let’s not forget to mention that local to me is important and for those who don’t already know where that is, it’s the Pittsburgh PA area. I will keep you all posted and I am sure that Siri will help lead the right dog to use just as I am sure that Merlin brought Kenzo into my life. So please resist the urge to send me every dog in need. 

Feel free to share how you chose your addition in the spaces below.

Tags: addition, Adoption, behavior, dogs, grief, household, how, interaction, loss, many, memories, multiple, multiples, owner, play, positive, rescue, search, too

Posted in: Projects

Balancing Acts: Work, Play, Dogs, How Do You Fit It All In?

Recently it was made clear to me that I had been neglecting my dog’s playtime. I had a friend come over to put my window air conditioners in and we had to go upstairs to my finished attic to get one of them. This also happens to be the location of my dog’s playroom. When that door opened, they were all up there in a flash. Even Siri, who often had to be persuaded and cajoled when we made this a daily event. I was chagrined.

It had been weeks, if not a month, since we had made the trip up there. Don’t misunderstand, we had most definitely played, but in the yard and in the living room. Those venues don’t generally invite the same intensity of play. And of course, we walk on a daily basis. But the attic playroom is where they are permitted to wrestle like idiots. They had clearly missed this time and I felt like a horrible dog mom.

I made sure that we headed up to that room two days later for a good hour or so of no holds barred play. Even Siri joined in and it had been a couple of months since she had shown an interest in joining in. She usually chose to lay on a dog bed next to me while watching. We stayed up there so long, that eventually Kenzo ran downstairs to get a drink. That was a rarity! I chose that as our cue to call it a day. I vowed then to not let life get in the way of play again. My dogs are only here a finite amount of time. I want to make that time memorable.

I see so many clients who confess to me that they rarely walk their dogs. But they make a point in telling me that they play with their dogs for hours in the yard. That’s great. But it’s not a substitute for getting their dogs out of their element. I wrote a blog about the importance of that, that you can read here in this website. My point here is about balance. Spend some of that playtime walking your crew outside of your own property. One method of stimulation isn’t enough. Playtime is aerobic exercise depending on how you are playing. Walking may be physical but it’s the mental factor of it that is important to your dog.

The crew in their playroom.

The playing portion is engagement with you as well as physical. I can see on my dog’s faces how happy they are when they get to really engage with one another and play unfettered. My mistake was trying to force that interaction daily. I was deluded into thinking they were no longer interested because I tried to enforce play daily. The true story was that they didn’t need it daily, Maybe your dogs do, maybe they don’t. I am certain that my dogs need a daily outing, away from our element. I need this as well. But they don’t need to wrestle like idiots daily. Younger dogs probably do. When Merlin and Kera were alive and younger, the crew played almost daily. But Kenzo is a low activity two year old. And Trent is nine going on ten and Siri is twelve and a half.

The message here is look for what your own individual crew needs. Look for balance. Make time for what they need. The time they have with us is limited. It’s not nearly as much as with the humans in your life. Before you know it, it’s gone. Life is hectic for most humans in this day and age. But I cannot think of a better way to slow it down than to force yourself to live in the moment for your dogs for some portion of every day. Take a realistic look at them and what their needs are. Carve that time out on a daily basis, some days more, some days less. You will be happier and so will they.

Feel free to share how you balance your dog’s lives. We all need fresh ideas.

Tags: balance, behavior, dogs, exercise, happy, hectic, household, how, intensity, many, multiple, needs, physical, play, positive, social, training, walk

Posted in: Projects

Fairness Among the Crew: All’s Fair in Love and War or is it?

I have never been fond of the phrase “All’s Fair in Love and War.” Even less so when it applies to dogs. Perhaps it should be rephrased as “Lack of Fairness in Love Can Create Wars”; in the multiple dog household anyway.

There’s no denying it: everyone has favorites. I have written in the past about my special connection with Merlin. He was and always will be my heart and soul favorite. And in some ways, I made that a little clearer than I should have with the crew as a whole. But I like to think that I did a good job of being fair most of the time. And “most of the time” is the important phrase here. Merlin did not get the favorite’s position automatically, because with my crew, behavior often plays a part in who goes first.

I believe dogs are aware of fairness. And I am not the only one who sees this. A scientist by the name of Friederike Range, a researcher at the University in Vienna along with her colleagues, studied fairness in dogs. In a series of experiments published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences looked at how dogs reacted when a buddy was rewarded for a trick in an unequal way.

Many dog parents have known for a long time that dogs have far more intellect than humans give them credit. They think, they observe, they have emotions, they can feel slighted. As is with humans, some handle slights better than others. Some take it in stride, simply accepting their “place”, some show anger and start battles with the one(s) who get more of whatever the resource is. This can often be the source of squabbles in a multiple dog household. The target is the dog who is the recipient of real or perceived favoritism.

Thus being unfair on a regular basis in a multiple dog household can have consequences ranging from mild to dire. It’s easy to play favorites but if you do, spread out the love. Your crew will be much happier.

In any given multiple dog household, there are different personalities. Different dogs like different activities. Some dogs enjoy agility, some dogs participate in competitive obedience. Some dogs like to swim and some dogs like to play ball. There are often crossover activities that several dogs may go to or like to do. This helps spread out the love by joining activities. The simple act of doing different things with different dogs helps create fairness as well, by allowing all dogs to have their “me time”.

There are a number of other areas that fairness comes into play as well. All resources are ripe for unfairness. Access to special food, play, cuddles, etcetera than the other members of your crew will be noted. Play fair with affection and don’t allow one dog to regularly hog the spotlight. Fairness is an issue when annoyances between the crew arise as well. If one dog gets picked on repeatedly and no one in charge intervenes, that dog gets left to fend for himself. That is never going to be fair. This particular issue was addressed in the previous blog so it won’t be dwelled upon here.

Is the concept of fairness a concern among dogs?

Doling out treats in the same order is often thought of as supporting a particular hierarchy that you feel is appropriate. In some cases, this can be appropriate such as supporting the original members of the crew initially when a new crew member joins the household. This can be the oldest to newest method of denoting who goes first. But once peace is is established, manners become more important than oldest to newest. I have found that some people reward the pushiest dog first because it’s easier and that is the opposite of what should be done. This can definitely not only send the wrong message to the pushy dog in question but to the dogs who are politely waiting their turn.

There is always going to be some unfairness in life. One dog may needs meds or special attention due to a medical issue. But when it’s obvious to your crew that you make an effort to be fair the majority of the time, the better the chance that they take occasional unfairness in stride. Fairness is part of safety and security. Safety and security are vital to a balanced emotional state. Aim for this and you have fairness covered!

Feel free to use the spaces below to share how to achieve fairness with your own crew.

Tags: annoy, behavior, dog, fair, Favorite, force, interaction, many, multiple, order, peace, play, positive, respect, social, train, treat

Posted in: Projects

Half the Man He Used to Be: Kenzo After the Neutering

It’s been almost two months since Kenzo was stripped of his manhood, just two short days after his first birthday. I am nothing but delighted with the results! I admit that I had normal dog parent fears of anesthesia and surgery and “oh my god, am I doing the right thing” ideas rolling around my head. I have a personal completely unwarranted terror of anesthesia so the phone call telling me that Kenzo came through surgery successfully was extremely welcome and relieving. But aside from those thoughts that were quickly displaced, the outcome of such a surgery has been very pleasing all around.

Why, you ask? I shall tell you, dear reader. The crew’s interactions are so much calmer and there is less consternation on my part than before surgery. Kenzo spends far less time obsessing about Siri’s lady parts than before (and she has been spayed for more than ten years!) and for that, she is also eternally grateful to be sure.

Trent appears to be far less threatened by Kenzo, despite the fact that Kenzo has grown quite a bit. Trent now initiates play on a regular basis and is less likely to be worried about Kenzo’s approach towards him on any surface than he was prior to the surgery. He is also far more likely now to appropriately let Kenzo know when he is either being too forward or he wants to be left alone. Trent’s typical response to such a scenario pre-surgery was overkill. Having him be more relaxed about normal daily interactions is enough of a reason to be grateful.

Rest time on the hike — with a recently neutered Kenzo

Interestingly, although Kenzo is certainly far more likely to obsess about smells than most dogs I have come across, he is easier to redirect now that his more primal instinct has had the edge taken off of him.

The strangest development has been in his eating habits. As many of you who follow my blog on a regular basis know, I feed a raw diet. Kenzo had started to be what I can only describe as suspicious, of some meals, in the last few weeks prior to neutering. Once neutered, that trait completely disappeared and he once again embraced his meals with his prior gusto. To say that this made me happy is a vast understatement! Worrying about what to feed a growing giant breed dog is not something you want on your plate, so to speak!

The final test of things that changed, that I had been eagerly awaiting, was his venture to the dog social that I had taken him too since he was much younger. The closer that he got to his one year birthday, the more likely he was to be harassed at the gate by neutered males who felt threatened by his intact status. He had started obsessing over their dislike of him and I would have to follow him all over the room, preventing him from “asking the dog why he disliked him”. That was the best way I could figure out to describe his obsession with them AFTER they greeting him with excessive snarking. He wanted to play with them and ONLY them then. It was exhausting and the primary reason I stopped taking him until his surgery. I did not want him to start reacting to their snarking. In addition to that response, he had started to also develop an obsession with humping the Golden he usually played best with.

I am thrilled to report that only one neutered male felt threatened this time and to a much lesser extent than previously experienced. Kenzo was very easily redirected from this rejection than in the past. As for this past humping behavior, it disappeared. He and Jimmer, his Golden playmate, played well and happily, taking turns with growly spithead. A grand time was had by all. Kenzo played so hard and well that he took the opportunity to rest before social was over. That was unheard of in the past.

I am sure that the naysayers are still going to tsk-tsk at what I chose to do, but as is the old saying, what is done is done. It cannot be undone thankfully. Being a professional dog trainer/behavior consultant doesn’t mean that I have the desire to be “on” all the time in my own household. Aside from standard manners and impulse control training, having altered males in a multiple male household makes a huge difference in greatly reducing the stress on all parties. I will happily continue to recommend it to clients.

Feel free to comment on both sides of the issue in the spaces below but keep your comments polite if you want others to see them! Thanks for playing nicely.

Tags: appropriate, calm, dog, dogs, force, grown, how, Kenzo, many, McMullen, neuter, neutering, obsession, play, positive, smell, snark, social, spay, surgery, threat, train, worried

Posted in: Projects