respect

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The Golden Years: Having a Senior in a Multiple Dog Household

This blog post is very late in coming. I have had a lot of upheaval in my life in the last eight weeks or so. With apologies to those who subscribe, it was not the fault of the holidays. My mother passed away very unexpectedly only two weeks prior to Christmas. My mother was a senior citizen and while human rather than canine, obviously, there are similarities in care of both species. So I am taking this opportunity to add some very personal experiences to this post. Having a senior canine in your life can add such joy but it can also be fraught with worry.

Siri just turned thirteen years of age just four short days after my mother passed away. Like my mother, her age really started to show about six months ago. She has grown increasingly confused about day to day situations, but thankfully has shown some improvement on that front with some natural mental clarity remedies. She is happy to comfortably rest for hours around the house now instead of showing Kenzo who the boss is. But make no mistake, if the big lug bumps into her too harshly, she will take some of that fuzz off of him in a heartbeat! Preventing the bumping into is my job, however.
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Like my mother, who was in assisted living until about six days before her passing, Siri increasingly requires hands on care and attention. I help her up and down stairs. I also help her get up from a lying position, particular when she is lying on hard surfaces like the kitchen tile floor. Sometimes I have to repeat her name in order to help her remain focused on her task such as moving forward towards the door to potty. The comparisons are so similar with my mother’s increasing needs as days passed. The supervision required was more hands on, as it is now with Siri.

A multi-generational multiple dog outing

In particular, what I have realized is of vital importance is the need to keep the mind engaged. That goal alone can result in more animation in your senior regardless of the species. Siri cannot move around well enough any longer to engage in physical play. But she relishes her puzzle toys and her rolling treat ball. With her rolling treat ball, she actually motivates herself to stand longer than during any other activity aside from walking. It’s a joy to watch. She grins with happiness after during this. I noticed the same difference in my mother when she was engaged with something she enjoyed versus just sitting and watching TV. Engaging the mind does so much towards keeping the body functioning better. I am convinced of this.

It’s hard to watch the dogs we love get older. They never live long enough and we almost always outlive them. I would much rather bear the pain of watching them get older than having to leave them alone by checking out first. So enriching their golden years is such an important responsibility to me I hope that it is to you as well.

With a multiple dog household, there are special considerations for the safety of the senior members. Of course, individual requirements depend on the dynamics of each household. In my case, I walk all of my dogs at once. We go outside of my basic neighborhood to walk so leaving anyone behind is not an option and would stress Siri considerably. In the summer, we just took shorter and slower walks. The beginning of summer was when Siri really began to slow down. So we adjusted our walk protocol accordingly. None of my dogs enjoy the heat much anyway so it all worked out.

When the weather starting cooling off, we changed the protocol again. We routed a shorter walk for Siri, and then returned her to the car to rest, while I took the boys for a longer and faster walk. That worked out really well for all of us. Siri gets just enough of a walk to get some necessary physical exercise and mental stimulation. And Trent, Kenzo and I get needed aerobic exercise.

As mentioned, Siri no longer travels up stairs by herself anymore so that has been another adjustment. I support her behind while she heads up any set of steps, though here and there, she feels spunky and does the steps up to my bed on her own. She maneuvers down steps on her own, though her confidence level varies with the day so I typically walk with my hand on her or stand below her to boost her feeling of security. The protocol depends on whether we are descending inside steps or yard steps.

Most of the time inside of the house, both Kenzo and Trent are fairly respectful of Siri’s space, taking some care to not knock her over. But exiting the house into the yard and exiting the car can often make them forget their manners. We practice the Wait cue most of the time for these scenarios so politeness can be at a maximum. I use body splitting to prevent most accidental bumps.

They do look out for her well being because we are a family and families do that. I noticed that especially when a friend visited who had not been here before. Kenzo was a bit wary of this friend until he watched her help Siri move around. He clearly approved of what she was doing. But this kind of family atmosphere does not come automatically to all multiple dog households. As with human blended households, it is up to the decision makers in the home to set the standards and guidelines so that the crew knows what is expected of them. Consistency and guidance are your keys to success with smooth interactions. Keeping your senior engaged in the crew is a vital part of quality of life and enrichment. I hope to keep Siri around a lot longer before she goes to keep my mother company.

Feel free to share how you help your senior to feel safer, happier and more comfortable.

Tags: behavior, dog, dogs, exercise, force, function, golden years, happy, household, many, multiple, positive, puppy, respect, senior, social, stimulation, train

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Admire From Afar: Appropriate Interactions with Strangers on Walks

Vehicles need repairs periodically. It’s a sad fact of life. Recently, I spent a day off from working getting mine repaired. While this is not an earth shattering event, one of the areas of my life that is affected if my vehicle is gone all day, is that my dogs and I have no method of transportation to our usual walking locales. So it is a bit earth shattering to me.

Image of the dogs on a calm nature walk.

What the dogs look like on a calm nature walk.

Oh, you are no doubt shaking your head at this point. Walk the neighborhood, right? I have and it’s challenging with multiple dogs, so I stick to short walks or longer walks during snowstorms that shut the city down. My dogs and I like peace when we walk so we drive to peaceful places. I am a nature lover living in the city. Fortunately, this city has a lot of available close by nature. Literally across the street, for one.

As I mentioned, I live in the city, in a neighborhood best described as transitional. Mixed incomes and education makes for a colorful place that sometimes offers more activity than I would prefer. So having no options aside from waiting until I got my vehicle back much later that day, I opted to give the neighborhood walk a shot. The crew was throwing expectant glances at the door after breakfast and Kenzo had begun his occasional whining of anticipation. I couldn’t put it off any longer.

Armed with treats and poop bags, we made our way down the hill to a busier street, intending to head towards the quieter streets once we had crossed. We had no sooner rounded the corner in front of my house when a passing car stopped in the middle of the street and waited. I stopped my crew, intending to wait until they moved. There was only about three to four feet for us to pass them and with three dogs as large as mine together, it wasn’t a practical thing to attempt. The passenger window rolled down and a woman said that they wanted to “see the dog when he walked by.” I am sure that they meant Kenzo, though the entire crew was with me. Kenzo is larger than the average dog so that attracts attention. Most people are more polite than this when they address me about Kenzo.

I was only about ten to fifteen feet away so they could see him already just fine. I told them that the dogs would possibly bark if we were that close by. They said that was okay. But it’s not okay with me to set them up to fail. And it shouldn’t be okay with you either. I silently stood where I was until they went on their way, after telling them this.

If I had been walking with human children and this happened just that way, it would be considered creepy. I think it equally creepy to have interactions like this with my dogs. There is a wonderful blog that was written a few years ago about dogs not being community property (read Dogs Are Not Public Property from dogster.com). It is so important for the public at large to understand that point. Parents would be very upset to have their human children be the focus of attention in that manner. I am equally upset to have my beloved dogs treated like side show acts. It’s impolite at best.

Some people are interested in being social when they walk their dogs. If one attends dog parks or interactive outings with one’s dog, then social interaction is the expectation. But walking around in public doesn’t mean someone is interested in being intruded upon, particularly just because of appearance. In the world of human interaction, that would be highly inappropriate.

Before you judge me as cranky, I have been politely asked from afar many times what breed Kenzo is or been given compliments about all of my dogs. I always light up with a smile and thank them and answer brief questions. The key word here is politely and the even more important word is from afar. Few people have expected to zoom right in the middle of my world when walking. Those who have, were politely but firmly redirected immediately.

Why is this a multiple dogs issue? Dogs feed off of each other’s energies. Multiply the quantity of dogs, multiply the energy of interaction. I choose to never interact up close with strangers when walking my dogs. My dogs have always been mostly of guarding breed lineage and as we live in this “transitional” neighborhood, I want to keep my dogs safe from harm, which includes not having to make split-second decisions about people they don’t know. We interact with people known to us on walks and that works for us.

I am also a huge fan of polite interactions with strangers. Like with dogs, I try very hard to not reinforce inappropriate behavior of any kind. That applies to humans as well. My dogs and I value our time in nature. It centers my soul. I see the same reactions in my dogs. I will keep that time sacred. When we want to interact, Kenzo goes to dog socials. He loves it as do I. But if you see us on walks and you are not personally known to us, please admire from afar. We will respect and thank you for that. And I will be eternally grateful for that gift.

Tags: behavior, dog, dogs, energy, household, interactive, many, multiple, neighborhood, parks, positive, respect, safe, social, streets, train, walk, whining

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A Day in the Life: Enrichments for Sanity — Theirs and Mine

The life of a professional dog trainer can be hectic. Oh, no complaints here. I make my own schedule and I am living my dream. But my dream is not my dog’s dream. So while some days are seriously fun for my dogs, some are less than thrilling.

All in all, I strive for as much mental stimulation as I can practically supply and an appropriate amount of physical activity on a daily basis. The physical activity is equally important for me. If I don’t get out into nature daily, regardless of the weather, I feel varying degrees of anxiety. I NEED to be outside and reasonably active on a daily basis to comfortably exist. My dogs are soul connections on this count.

Happily tired dogs are a sign of success.

So daily walks are the norm, whether 0 degrees or 90 degrees. It’s the length and time of day and location that vary. This winter we have used a vat of Musher’s Secret to achieve our goals. Daily fun most days also includes a romp in their indoor playroom. They may play actively for long or short periods or we may just hang out and exist as one. As often as my brain can participate, we have both one-on-one and group training sessions. My goal is a minimum of three times a week. My heart leaps at how much my dog’s enjoy this time. Some days include mental stimulation treat dispensing puzzle toys and others include high value chew time. If I have done my job correctly, I can see clients and safely spend computer time without protest and disappointed looks directed my way. This is my picture of success.

Tags: activity, behavior, daily, dog, dogs, dream, force, hectic, household, how, many, multiple, nature, physical, puppy, rescue, respect, session, stimulation, train, training, weather

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The Elephant in the Room: Leadership in the Multiple Dog Household

The word leadership has become such a dirty word in the more progressive circles of dog training. Oh, don’t get me wrong, many qualified dog behavior specialists believe in and advise clients to establish good leadership but usually not with that word. The stigma of a certain TV trainer’s bad advice leads us all to tread lightly where this subject is concerned. So we call it parenting, guiding, coaching, anything but leading. The fear is so great that a mile will be taken when an inch is intended. We have good reason to worry, to be sure. I don’t even pass out my own handout on benevolent leadership anymore. And that theory took center stage in my book.

But the fact remains that it actually IS leadership. Good leaders are not scary. They are approachable and friendly and provide safety and security. What’s to be afraid of there? Did you ever have a teacher that you looked up to or were/are you friends with one or both of your parents? That means do you look to them for guidance but also share your fears and successes with them? This is what leadership is about. Providing advice, guidelines, structure and when needed, kindly but firmly pointing you in right direction. Real leaders are never scary or never harmful. Real leaders always lead with love and respect for who you are. This kind of leadership allows the ones being led to spread their wings and find their own niche and make their own choices, always being rewarded for the right choices. Having consequences for the wrong choices as needed, never scary.

My friend, Rachel, recently described a book that she bought on human parenting called Scream Free Parenting. This is a perfect analogy for being your dog crew’s leader. Scream free, force free. But make no mistake, parenting still requires you to be the leader, human or canine kids alike.

Which brings me to the point of this blog post. Leadership is the number one necessity in a multiple dog household with strong canine personalities. There is no getting around that. That IS the elephant in the room in the dog training world. It MUST not be forgotten. It must not be swept under the proverbial rug.

You certainly need training and manners and all that entails. But you need leadership first and foremost. So much of what I do on a daily basis could have been unnecessary with proper leadership from day one. Many of my readers are not human parents. Neither am I but if you have siblings that you possibly did not get along with all the time, maybe this analogy will help. You don’t have to like someone to live with them peacefully. But if you respect the leader of the household and feel safe from harm and all your basic needs are met otherwise, you can stand living with someone you may not enjoy. Sound familiar?

That is why leadership is important in blended households and that is exactly what a multiple dog household often is. Without leadership and manners, things can progress to such a point that takes a huge amount of management, structure and work to fix. Multiple dog household issues run the range of easily fixed with simple tweaks such as adding some leadership to all out dangerous fights on a regular basis where leadership is only the first step. While the latter is unlikely to be fixed when allowed to fester for long periods of time before a professional is called in, some sort of progress can be made in any situation provided the humans are capable of handling the situation.

And this is where leadership comes in. Now a comment that may cause some to get the flamethrowers out: I use body language a lot in multiple dog issues. Heck, I use it with single dog households too. Dogs understand body language far faster than words that we throw at them without applying meaning to such. I don’t use physical corrections or fear for training or management. But I do use body blocks, parental style stances and disapproving looks when appropriate and necessary. And in a multiple dog household, body blocks are something that can be needed on a frequent basis when conflict is happening. It certainly can be used in an very intimidating way as evidenced by that same aforementioned TV trainer. But that isn’t how I use it or teach others to use it. The goal here is to establish that the human is the go to for conflict resolution and safety. The dogs don’t need to handle those things. It should go without saying that any dog whose psyche would be damaged by throwing a parental disapproving stance their way, isn’t the problem child in the household and would never have need of such body language. This is done as a reminder that the human is the final say. Why would that be considered punitive by some circles?

This brings us to the subject of safety. Safety is crucial for all living beings. It’s high up on the pyramid of needs. Take care of that and you can take care of everything that occurs from the lack of safety. So now all that body language that cues the crew to look to you for safety and conflict resolution makes so much more sense than having no consequences for trying to incite conflict. Doesn’t it? Body blocking and splitting on the part of the human is crucial to a harmonious existence in some multiple dog households. I say some because I have seen other trainers say that they never need to use body blocking. They clearly are not working with confident dogs existing together in a conflict riddled household. My goal is as little re-homing as possible when possible.

And just as I would never use a body block with timid dogs who have no need of such a move, I would not dream of not using them in households with dog(s) confident enough to not wilt from such a thing. Establishing or repairing a relationship between the dogs and the humans helps this go smoothly. Keep the safety part in mind. That is what this is all about for all involved.

Body language establishes boundaries that dogs understood very easily. Just as good parents provide non-scary consequences for children who flout perfectly appropriate boundaries, dog parents need to do the same. Doing so provides safety for the one(s) targeted by the bullies, just as with children. Positive never should over permissive. That helps no one, least of all the one(s) with loose boundaries.

I could go on perhaps endlessly on this subject. But in closing, I will allow those who offered me their thoughts on this subject to have their say. Here are their definitions of leadership, though most use a different word to name it. Please feel free t share your own thoughts on this subject in the spaces below as well. But play nice, we are all in this for the sake of the dogs.

From Inna, a trainer in New York City:
With clients I use the term caretaker along with words such as clear guidance and well defined structure. I don’t use words like leader because I don’t want them to associate leader with “Pack leader”. I talk to clients about how important it is for them to help their dogs become the best companions they can be through clear, non violent communication & training.

From Helen, a trainer in Greece:
I consider myself as a parent and friend to my dogs…My role is to protect them, to care for their well being(physical and mental), to guide and educate them, to help them cope with things in life, to love and respect them!

From Jeff, a multiple dog parent in Ohio:
I’d like to think my relationship with my dogs is more of a partnership than anything though. We do this…together. I think it’s how Preston, the girls and I forged the kind of relationship we have. I trust them, and they trust me…therefore they typically do what I ask. Hopefully that makes sense.

From Crystal, a trainer in Indiana, PA:
I do not use the term leader with my clients usually because the word has been poisoned by “dominance” trainers but I use teacher or parent. We protect, we teach, we give them self-sufficiency. Yes, we must have discipline but that means establishing guidelines, not punishing them for our unrealistic expectations. We need to show them that we are steady and reliable, a positive influence in their lives, where to turn when they don’t know what to do. They are foreigners in a world of rules and language that doesn’t make sense to them and we are their guide. Our relationship is like a trust fall, and it is our job to catch them. Every. Time.

From Renee, a trainer in Johnstown, PA:
I use the wording positive leadership with my clients. I was hesitant at first to use the word leadership due to, well we all know why, but I decided to use it to teach a different definition of leadership to pet dog owners than the one they already might know of.

From Andrew, a trainer in Morgantown, WV:
I strive to give my dogs as much freedom of choice as possible, so long as their decisions do not have the potential to harm themselves or others. I foster and encourage appropriate decisions very early on so I have to do very little “active leading” or managing later on. Of course, how much freedom you can give any individual dogs varies, and some dogs prefer more active direction. …I guess I play the role of a cooperative partner…Partnership is the word that comes to mind. Leadership is certainly a component, but I have no problem allowing the dog to take the wheel either. And some situations require active direction, of course.

From Dawn, a trainer in Hawaii:
I don’t give it a label with clients.. I tell people that class is about teaching them to communicate with their dogs and have a relationship. leader/alpha etc. never even comes up. .. I guess even with non parents (before I was a mom still considered myself a dog parent) you can still have them relate to their own parents…… how their parents had rules/structure, etc to keep them safe. or maybe a ‘teacher’. But on the flip side sometimes people need to imagine themselves as a leader in order to understand how to create structure…

From Sue, a multiple dog parent in Georgia:
If I have to put any label on it at all, I’m my dogs’ parent….I have 6 dogs, we still have structure and rules and they look to me for things (to get toys out from under the sofa mostly) and I assume that is true for the way multi-kid families are–I don’t have furless children.

From Karla, a trainer in Virginia:
I am a leader if I have a follower. If I reinforce my dogs engagement with me, he pays attention to my movement, he follows me with his eyes and ears. And if he sees an opportunity for engagement with me, an opportunity for reinforcement, he follows. At those times, I am a leader.

Tags: behavior, canine, choice, direction, dog, dogs, dominance, fears advice, household, leadership, many, multiple, parenting, positive, puppy, respect, social, structure, train, training

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Sweet Dreams are Made of These: Should Your Crew Sleep With You?

If I had a dollar for every time a client apologized before telling me that their dog(s) sleep with them, I could have retired by now. Old school style training dictated that dogs not be allowed on raised surfaces or they would consider themselves of equal or higher status than their ‘masters’. *insert eye roll here*

The only time sleeping in the human bed is advised against is if there are guarding issues of some sort. Guarding, in this case, can pertain to the space on the bed. Guarding from the humans is a biggie that needs addressed in person with a qualified modern methods behavior consultant. Guarding from other canines or even felines is also an issue that needs addressed with a similarly qualified professional. But overall, that provides less of a threat to the humans, aside from breaking up a fight, that is. I am obviously not going to give advice on these issues here. On the spot assistance is what you need if these issues ring a bell.

Aside from the previously mentioned red flags, sharing the bed is fine, if that is what you wish to do. Of course, if you don’t wish to share your bed with your dogs, I am not here to say you must or your dogs will suffer. What I will share with you is this: dogs feel so much safer being permitted to sleep in the vicinity of their human family members. It doesn’t matter whether it’s on your bed or in their own bed in your room or that of another family member. Even being permitted to be on the same floor as the sleeping area is better than not.

Safety: we have discussed that here before. Safety is a crucial feeling to all sentient creatures. Safety is vital to survival. Safety provides emotional and physical security. The amount of stress a lack of safety adds to an emotional state cannot be overstated.

Familial bonding is another often overlooked facet of this scenario. For example, most households have some sort of regular weekday work or school schedule that prevents a lot of bonding and togetherness during the workweek, whether that be weekdays or just several days strung together where the canines in the family get less interaction than they need for emotional stability. Consider then that the dogs in the home may sleep separately from the humans and you have very little togetherness going on.

The easiest way that involves very little effort, once the routine is established, is to permit your crew to sleep in the vicinity of the humans for whom they care for. It involves little effort once, you get past the novelty, if you are new to this. And it is rewarding for all involved.

I often get quizzed on why dogs who don’t sleep near their humans are so needy on workday evenings. The answer is that they spend so little time together on these days. Sleeping in the same area is an easy way to remedy that situation. Less neediness on the dogs side, more peace on both sides.

What if you have allergies? Well, some of you are not going to like my answer on that but here goes. Allergies are over-exaggerated, in my opinion. I am allergic to just about everything, including dogs. So my take on that is if you are able to have and love on your dog, you are able to sleep in the same room as your dog. Just limit them to their own beds, rather than yours.

So what if you don’t have room for all your dogs in your bed or even your room? After all, if you are reading this, you are very likely a multiple dog household of some quantity and not all households have human beds big enough for the humans and all the canines! So the solution to that is providing plenty of comfy sleeping surfaces and options for all dogs who reside there. If there is sufficient room in the bedroom, then place beds all over that room. If there are multiple family members, consider both canine and human preferences for favorites and plan from there. A word on that however: some children or even adult family members may permit too many privileges for a dog that may not be ready for such privileges so keep that in mind when choosing sleeping places.

Some readers are likely wondering about dogs that don’t want to sleep near their humans. Some dogs may prefer a bed in a close by empty bedroom or a dog bed in a hallway nearby. But in that case, what is important is that the choice of where to sleep is there. Meaning, the dog(s) has/have the run of the house at night and chooses this alternate spot. What I strongly advise against is crating day and night, away from the humans. Not only is it cruel physically, it’s emotionally isolating. Obviously puppies need crated or otherwise have their movement restricted at night for safety concerns. But said crate should be in the vicinity of a human family member.

The difference in the emotional neediness is obvious when sleeping safety is considered. Easy bonding while sleeping can only be beneficial. Please share how you arrange your crew’s sleeping routines in the spaces below. And sweet dreams!

Tags: bed, behavior, bonding, bully, dog, dogs on raised surfaces, dogs sleeping on the bed, dogs sleeping with owners, dominance, emotional, family, force, interaction, many, master, multiple, nearby, owner, peace, permit, positive, puppy, rescue, respect, safe, shelter, sleep, sleeping

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Fairness Among the Crew: All’s Fair in Love and War or is it?

I have never been fond of the phrase “All’s Fair in Love and War.” Even less so when it applies to dogs. Perhaps it should be rephrased as “Lack of Fairness in Love Can Create Wars”; in the multiple dog household anyway.

There’s no denying it: everyone has favorites. I have written in the past about my special connection with Merlin. He was and always will be my heart and soul favorite. And in some ways, I made that a little clearer than I should have with the crew as a whole. But I like to think that I did a good job of being fair most of the time. And “most of the time” is the important phrase here. Merlin did not get the favorite’s position automatically, because with my crew, behavior often plays a part in who goes first.

I believe dogs are aware of fairness. And I am not the only one who sees this. A scientist by the name of Friederike Range, a researcher at the University in Vienna along with her colleagues, studied fairness in dogs. In a series of experiments published in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences looked at how dogs reacted when a buddy was rewarded for a trick in an unequal way.

Many dog parents have known for a long time that dogs have far more intellect than humans give them credit. They think, they observe, they have emotions, they can feel slighted. As is with humans, some handle slights better than others. Some take it in stride, simply accepting their “place”, some show anger and start battles with the one(s) who get more of whatever the resource is. This can often be the source of squabbles in a multiple dog household. The target is the dog who is the recipient of real or perceived favoritism.

Thus being unfair on a regular basis in a multiple dog household can have consequences ranging from mild to dire. It’s easy to play favorites but if you do, spread out the love. Your crew will be much happier.

In any given multiple dog household, there are different personalities. Different dogs like different activities. Some dogs enjoy agility, some dogs participate in competitive obedience. Some dogs like to swim and some dogs like to play ball. There are often crossover activities that several dogs may go to or like to do. This helps spread out the love by joining activities. The simple act of doing different things with different dogs helps create fairness as well, by allowing all dogs to have their “me time”.

There are a number of other areas that fairness comes into play as well. All resources are ripe for unfairness. Access to special food, play, cuddles, etcetera than the other members of your crew will be noted. Play fair with affection and don’t allow one dog to regularly hog the spotlight. Fairness is an issue when annoyances between the crew arise as well. If one dog gets picked on repeatedly and no one in charge intervenes, that dog gets left to fend for himself. That is never going to be fair. This particular issue was addressed in the previous blog so it won’t be dwelled upon here.

Is the concept of fairness a concern among dogs?

Doling out treats in the same order is often thought of as supporting a particular hierarchy that you feel is appropriate. In some cases, this can be appropriate such as supporting the original members of the crew initially when a new crew member joins the household. This can be the oldest to newest method of denoting who goes first. But once peace is is established, manners become more important than oldest to newest. I have found that some people reward the pushiest dog first because it’s easier and that is the opposite of what should be done. This can definitely not only send the wrong message to the pushy dog in question but to the dogs who are politely waiting their turn.

There is always going to be some unfairness in life. One dog may needs meds or special attention due to a medical issue. But when it’s obvious to your crew that you make an effort to be fair the majority of the time, the better the chance that they take occasional unfairness in stride. Fairness is part of safety and security. Safety and security are vital to a balanced emotional state. Aim for this and you have fairness covered!

Feel free to use the spaces below to share how to achieve fairness with your own crew.

Tags: annoy, behavior, dog, fair, Favorite, force, interaction, many, multiple, order, peace, play, positive, respect, social, train, treat

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Command Performance: Do Words Have Consequences?

I think “yes” would be the accurate answer to this question. Words like “command” and “obedience” reek of control. They are included in the “hammer” style tools of dog training. I much prefer the use of “cue” and “manners”. Like the saying goes, “When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” While this statement is typically applied to actual training tools, this equally applies to the words used in training as well.

Many people assume that words, once spoken, disappear. While that can be true but what can also happen is this; quite often, the words that are used can convey a specific feeling to the person who spoke the words. Words such as command and obedience are forceful. They imply those who they are directed to are inferior and in need of domination. This could not be further from the truth in relation to the dogs in our lives.

Photo of Dawn Goehring of Comedy Barn Canines. Photo Courtesy of Christine Romano, Rich Blessings Photography

Photo of Dawn Goehring of Comedy Barn Canines. www.comedycanines.com. Photo Courtesy of Christine Romano, Rich Blessings Photography

While our dogs certainly require structure and boundaries, they don’t need such words to provide said structure. What they need is kindness, empathy, understanding, and clear communication. They are not looking to take over our world. We have the opposable thumbs, after all.

“Breaking” is another word that is better off dispensed with in regards to housetraining. While the word is appropriately descriptive of the goal that is in mind – as in “breaking the habit” – it does speak to the notion that force can somehow resolve the problem.

According to Raymond Coppinger, dogs chose to join us; domesticating themselves by stationing themselves near human camps. The ensuing partnership was mutual. We provide for their needs. They know this. There is no need to lord it over them with force. They revere us already. They respect us when we work with them rather than on them.

Dogs are the most forgiving creatures I know of. We treat them badly and still they adore us. Using kind words goes a long way towards promoting partnership and trust far more than words that convey the need to wield control with an iron fist. Every step taken towards dismissing such a partnership makes an additional step easier. It becomes a slippery slope.

Forceful words can cause even bigger problems in the multiple dog household. As with a multiple human household, personalities will differ among the crew. A dog that is pushier than another dog can feel emboldened by harsh words spoken at such from the humans in the household. Harshness can create bullies out of humans as well as canines. It is up to the humans to set good examples to be followed. Think of it in terms of children who are emotionally abused by their parents. While they may grow up stronger because of what they endured, there is an equal if not greater chance that they will learn how to be angry more easily than how to be kind.

Compassion and respect should not be reserved solely for one’s fellow humans. All sentient beings are deserving of this. Choosing words that you would use with humans whom you love, with the canines in your lives, will go far towards building the trust that creates a wonderful bond. Words DO matter. Choose them with care.

Tags: bullies, canine, command, compassion, cue, dogs, emotional, empathy, force, harsh, household, how, kindness, manners, many, multiple, obedience, respect, training, word

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The Nature of the Beast: Respecting Your Dogs for Who They Are

This is one of those subjects that should automatic knowledge in humans but it never fails to surprise me how often I need to remind people of this. Dogs are not small furry humans. That statement may annoy some people, but it’s really important for any dog parent to grasp this fact fully.

Dogs don’t usually come trained for what any given dog parent wants, nor do they understand human words without having been taught said human words. If you acquired a dog fully trained for your needs, then thank the universe as soon as you can! You are a lucky human and your dog is equally lucky.

Though not typically already acquainted with the words we want them to know, they sure do understand human tones of voices and body language/intent. This is also important to understand as some dog owners talk about “he knew he did something wrong”. Well no, not really, he just knew you were really unhappy because of your body language and/or your tone of voice. He also knew that very likely the last time you sounded like that, it did not bode well for a snuggle session for him.

I have had far too many experiences lately with dog owners having unrealistic expectations of their dog(s). Dogs are just that: dogs. If it helps people to understand this better, owners should equate the age expectations of puppies with humans of a similar age. IE: puppies vs. infants. Would you expect an infant to understand taking care of his digestion elimination needs in the bathroom from an age of say 3 months? Then don’t expect a puppy to immediately get housetraining, especially with human timing being the key player to learning!

Growing up emotionally and physically is incremental. Children go to school for twelve years for a very good reason. Each year builds on the previous year’s knowledge and learning. Dogs need incremental learning as well. The same theory applies to dogs that may be adults in age, but never having the benefit of appropriate training, they are the equivalent of a human getting a GED after having reached the age of graduation. They key to surviving training either is patience.

No sane person would place a baby on the ground outside and expect him to come when called. Then why expect a similar response from a puppy or a dog with no previous training? Puppies, like babies, learn by exploring and showing interest in their surroundings. It is normal for a puppy to explore. It is up to the human caretaker to set limits and guidelines. The same applies to the adult dog learning guidelines for the first time.

Without recovering a previous topic, limits and guidelines should be pleasantly enforced, not scary and painful. Think good parenting 101, if you will. Be the human that your dog turns to for knowledge, info and benevolent guidance. Set your guidelines realistically. Be the best connection your puppy/dog has and you won’t fail.

If your dog/puppy is getting into mischief when you are out of sight, then be in sight. They don’t know they are doing something inappropriate when they are out of your sight. They have more freedom than is called for if they have the chance to get into something inappropriate. Supervise, supervise, SUPERVISE! As my favorite magnet gifted to me by a dear friend says, “Don’t Complain, TRAIN”. Agreed wholeheartedly!

I cannot count how many times I have heard someone say that that their dog doesn’t respond to basic word “commands”. I prefer the word cue vs. command, but the point of this is that first you have to make sure that your puppy/dog has been fully taught the meaning of the word that is being (typically) overused. Puppies/dogs are English as a second language creatures. This means that they need taught the action first, then to have the action associated with a word cue. Repeating words that have no meaning to a dog will only frustrate you and your dog. They will understand enough to know that you are unhappy but not why you are unhappy.

The best gift that you can give yourself and your puppy or your newly acquired adult dog is to get registered in a quality training class or treat yourself to a qualified in-home trainer. Learning how to effectively communicate properly with your dog(s) will last a lifetime and there is no price on that kind of happiness.

Consider it a celebratory light bulb moment in your lives when you have a mutual meeting of the minds. Those who remember when you first had these moments, please take a moment to tell below to share it with us all. Hand to paw for more.

Tags: adult, babies, come, dogs, furry, household, humans, learning, many, owner, puppy, respect, train, unrealistic

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Time in a Bottle: Finding Time to Meet the Needs of a Multiple Dog Household

Puppies are time consuming. That statement doesn’t even begin to properly convey the situation. Let me emphasize it. PUPPIES ARE TIME CONSUMING!!! I am a pro at this game and *I* am tired, so I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it must be to non-pros.

It has been very beneficial to me as a dog training and behavior professional to have a puppy in my life. But it sure has brought home the point of time constraints. However, the main difference between myself and my clients, aside from how I make my living, is that I know how to live with my puppy in such a way that I am teaching him beneficial info pretty much every moment that I interact with him.

Kenzon at 5 months

I strive to teach this to my clients as well, but it’s not something that comes as second nature by instinct, unless of course you happen to be a dog trainer! Learning how to do this can be done but it’s not what most people are used to. Training by default can make your life easier but it involves making changes to your routine. Learning to wait for the behavior that you want can be the hardest thing to do for some people. But being patient is the best gift you can give yourself and your crew.

Enlisting the aid of your adult dogs, provided they have reliable behaviors that you can reward will make your workload lighter. That is a gift from any angle! Siri and Trent are good role models for Kenzo as they are appropriate in any situation in the house. I never have to worry where they are and what they are doing. The same was true of Merlin and Kera. I like life this way so this is my goal with Kenzo. I notice the behavior that I want with the older dogs so Kenzo hears this praise and makes note of it. This has helped considerably in the kitchen, with meals. I can now trust Kenzo to wait until he is served, usually after the others are served, to build impulse control.

The same good example setting takes place on walks, with exaggerated verbal praise for what I want, being noticed by Kenzo. Of course, at his age, his exploratory nature takes first precedence, but seeing or hearing his “big brother and sister” getting some serious attention can remind him that there is virtue in paying attention to his family when outside.

Most of the time, my schedule would make even the most die-hard type A personality run for cover so it’s imperative that I make the most of the time I do have. I believe in making my actions count. So far, the basics are taking care of themselves, thanks to this method. Now onto to stepping up his social schedule so that he remains well socialized with other dogs. Wish me time in a bottle!

Tags: attention, behavior, beneficial, dogs, dot, household, impulse control, instinct, many, meals, multiple, patient, people, puppy, respect, train, walks

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A Little Bit of Heart & Soul: Remembering Merlin, My Heart Dog

Originally posted on September 23, 2012.

I have thought about how I should honor his life endlessly as this emotional anniversary approaches and I have decided that remembering some of my fondest moments with Merlin was the most appropriate way. I want to celebrate his life. He was a remarkable dog, He touched so many lives. I hope that I can honor him properly. So I chose to speak directly to him.

To Merlin from mom:

I was attracted to you the second I saw you, so small at about three months of age, but so sassy in that cage at the shelter. It was my first day walking dogs who weren’t on the adoption floor and I had just lost my Layla only a week prior to seeing you. You looked at me with such sly eyes, so knowing, so full of intelligence and humor. It only took one look and I knew you were to be mine. You knew it too. I was told that you had “sexy” eyes by another shelter volunteer, such an odd compliment for a dog but clearly true as well; something more than in most canine eyes at such a young age. Such potential.

Merlin, on a walk, grinning.

When we brought Kera home after you “chose” her just a month later, you were thrilled that I got you such a wonderful “toy” until you realized you had to share me! You made Kera “pay” for a couple of days, then you made her your partner in crime, deftly giving me a crash course in multiple dog ownership/training.

Having only had “easy” dogs up until you, you challenged my mind at every opportunity. You performed magic feats on doorknobs and crates, opening both without difficulty and with humor. You fully earned your magical moniker. You forced me to increase my training and behavior knowledge and I will always respect you for that.

You had both drive and persistence which made training you a challenge. You refused to be pushed around in the name of training and rightly fought back to any man-handling attempts. Your delight was evident when I learned a better way to teach you. We made strides faster than the speed of light and your responses made me beam with pride.

You became a dog trainer’s dream dog, able to go anywhere and be trusted with anyone. You helped shy and scared dogs learn to be brave. You showed reactive dogs that you were not a threat and that playing with another dog could be fun. You helped some dogs get certified to be canine good citizens; others, you showed your large repertoire of cues so they could watch and learn.

You were kind to everyone as long as they were kind to your family. You approached every situation as friendly until finding out otherwise. You LOVED puppies and helped raise Siri and her siblings until we sent all but Siri off to their forever homes. The memory of you laying on the floor letting puppies tug on you from various angles brings a huge smile to my face. You cared for the multitudes of foster puppies who spent time under our roof like they were your own. You grinned happily as they took new steps. And you sent them on their way to their forever homes with a smile.

You were welcoming to the many foster dogs that passed through our lives, on their way to their forever home. You helped them to feel comfortable and loved and happy. When corrections were needed, you issued them appropriately, showing kindness and restraint. Even as you eventually grew weary of one too many fosters, you handled it with dignity and grace and understood that we had a purpose higher than we may have preferred at times. You accepted our role and loved me despite minor inconveniences to your life. You understood that our little family was always number one and comforted by that fact.

You helped keep us safe in an urban neighborhood, sometimes fraught with strangeness. You always knew when to step in and when to let me handle things, perfectly assessing every situation. I didn’t teach you this, you were born with it.
You lived it. I respected your perfect instincts and understanding more than I can express.

You viewed life as an adventure, every new situation as something to look forward to. You trusted me to have your back and keep you safe.
Your sense of humor brought smiles to my day. You made every day fun and laughter. You reveled in the outdoors and made sure that every day had relaxation in it. Without your nudging, I would not have had as much play as I should have. You loved to go places, riding in the Xterra like a champ, “elbow” resting on the window ledge like a human male, grinning out the window with pleasure.

It was on one of our many outings that the first sign of trouble reared it’s ugly head. The day that we took our first trip to the vet, almost directly from am outing. On the way to find out what caused you such distress, I could not shake the feeling that my life had changed dramatically that day. I hoped I was being melodramatic but sadly, I was right. I would give anything to change what happened but I am grateful for the chance to have the extra time with you that no doctor said I would have. You handled all your vet visits with grace and dignity and even humor, making you a favorite at the specialists. They admired your good temperament and disposition, they loved your humor. They mourned with us when you were lost to us. Your loss created a void in the lives of many, the cards and condolences were plentiful, your memory a flame that will go on.

You took such good care of all of us, Kera, Siri, Trent and I, me being at the top of the list. I was your number one priority and truth be told, you were mine. I loved you best, feeling at one with your soul. You were more partner than the others. That always feels odd to say, fearing that some may not understand but I know that many will know what that means. It is a oneness with another creature that can only be described in that way, fully mutually understanding another without guessing, an ability to share thoughts and communicate without words. While that ability exists to an extent with my other beloved dogs, it has never reached such an understanding as with you. There is a piece missing now that can never be replaced. That’s okay now, as much as it can be, because I know that someday I will see you again. With that purpose in mind, wanting to live up to your ideal of me, making you proud, I move forward for you. I miss you with every ounce of my soul and I will celebrate your life as it deserves to be celebrated.

I have written and re-written the above in my mind a dozen times already. I wanted perfection for Merlin’s memorial but perfection is always out of reach; this is real life and there is no perfection. So I will “settle” for simply from the heart. Now an update on our emotional progress…

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year since I had say goodbye (for now) to my precious Merlin. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him multiple times a day. I can go from okay to tears in an instant with the right trigger. But it IS easier now to try to move forward. It was and still is a struggle randomly and I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I suppress a lot of trigger reactions. I basically forced myself to move forward, for the sake of Kera (who joined Merlin on June 1st), Siri and Trent. After we lost Kera, we would have continued into an even deeper downward spiral, so deep was the loss in our lives, if things continued as is.

Those of you who follow this blog know that what changed the direction for the better was Kenzo. Daily, I am grateful for the gift of his addition to our lives. His presence forced us back into the game of life. No matter how much complaining I may do about never subjecting myself to puppyhood again, the laughter that he brings us is worth his eventual weight in gold. I will forever be in debt to my dear friend who made Kenzo’s life with us possible.

In many ways, Kenzo reminds me of Merlin. I like to think that this was by design, Merlin’s that is. Kenzo lies down to drink water a good bit of the time. Merlin did that for his entire life, preferring the path of least resistance in many areas. Merlin also liked to play in water all of his life, starting with the water bowl as a puppy, as Kenzo has and continuing to splashing in any available stream or other accessible body of water. The only area that they differ with regards to water is Kenzo’s dislike of rain. Merlin loved all things wet, rain included. Kenzo, not so much! Merlin’s fur was forever dancing about the floors in fuzzy balls. Kenzo has accepted the responsibility of continuing that tradition down to the exact color of the fur balls. Kenzo is vocal when cuddled as Merlin was.

But make no mistake, they are two different dogs. I know this. I accept this. I would not have accepted a breed that reminded me of Merlin because I am not ready for that yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope so as I love Dobermans with fierceness but I don’t want to make any comparisons so I wait. I miss my pokey nosed baby boy too much to risk more traumas. In the meantime, every black and tan (orange) butterfly that I see seems to be Merlin checking in with me. When my loss was brand new, I saw Merlin or thought I did, out of the corner of my eye, in various places he used to be. I do still see that but not often enough. I need the continued connection but I don’t think Merlin wants to me to dwell too much so I march forward and know that we will meet again. Until then, I love you more than words can say, my “little boy dog”.

Tags: behavior, celebrate life, dog, empathy, how, interaction, many, Merlin, multiple, partner, peace, puppy, respect, shelter, social, training, wonderful

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